Lizzy's Guide to Life
by Marshie12
Summary: I'm not stubborn. I never understood why people call me that. I change my mind about things all the time. I mean being stubborn isn't all that bad. I'd rather be stubborn than all around rude like Darcy. Over. :
1. August Pains

_**Back to School…**_

_Aug 13, Thursday; 10:46 p.m._

Scary, scary thought. School starts tomorrow and I have spent the entire day accomplishing nothing but completely mundane tasks such as painting my nails and organizing my new binder (which wasn't hard considering it only contains notebook paper). Am feeling completely wasteful and useless, must not forget depressed about the inescapable fact that school starts up again tomorrow, which has already been said but must be repeated as if saying, "the world ends tomorrow."

It's weird to think that I'm becoming a junior this year and will officially be an upperclassman and get to drive myself (and my sister) to school. I think I've become too dependant on the fact that I now have independence. It's also a little weird that here they start school on a Friday. Just thought I'd throw that in as an afterthought.

Must go to sleep seeing as I have to wake-up at like 7:00 a.m. tomorrow. Am not going to get dressed up tomorrow as if I have something to prove. I shall wear sweatpants and my "devil-may-care" attitude. Am very excited about new nonchalant outlook on life.

Lalala life is great!

_**Total Letdown…**_

_Friday, Aug 14; 7:16 a.m._

Whoever decided on compulsory education should be shot dead. I woke up at like 6:00 this morning and am dressed and showered with like 45 minutes left before I have to head off to school.

I forgot to dress gross though so now people might think I'm trying to impress them. I'm not though, I swear. I honestly don't care what they think. So maybe I care a little bit, I mean after all I'm only a 16 year old girl, to be totally nonchalant would make me inhuman. I just don't care what guys think.

I mean I don't need their approval to feel pretty.

I do however need a smoothie…

_12:20 p.m._

It's worse than I ever expected. How I even made it to lunch is a modern marvel.

For first and second period I have French in which I'm stuck sitting next to the kid who has been picking his nose since second grade and the damn teacher gave a diagnostic test. How is it that I'm in French 3 and yet the only word I can say is, "bonjour?"

Third period was when the real torture began seeing as I somehow ended up shoved into an Interpretive Dance class. INTERPRETAVE DANCE! I can't even walk yet alone dance especially not this damn hippy-dippy crap dancing. I have nothing against hippies, in fact I agree with most liberal political policies, but who wants to spent 90 minutes quacking like a duck?

Not me.

For fourth and fifth period I have ethics which is our weird art school's version of English mixed with debate. We mostly just read poems and debate about global warming all year. I have a reputation for tearing apart my debate opponents. I must confess this class won't be that bad seeing as it's the only class I have with Erin, my best friend since like fourth grade, and I do love to read, just not poetry.

Have suddenly changed my mind about Ethics and decided I hate it. I do hate poetry, that's just one reason though. The other two are Eddie Cartail and Will Darcy. Eddie sucks because Erin's had a crush on him as long as I've known her but he is at Darcy's command 24/7 and never stopped to notice how awesome she is.

Will Darcy is probably the worst thing to walk the hallways here at Morris High. He's cute but he knows it and spends most of his time making sure others do too. He's rich and spoiled so has no boundaries of right and wrong. The worst part of it all is that guys envy him and girls worship him. Well at least most girls do. I most certainly am not one of those girls.

Luckily this class is split up by lunch, which is where I am now, so I get to spend lunch with Erin. Not so lucky is that Erin left to buy her lunch over half an hour ago and has yet to show back up. I have also just realized I spent most of my lunch sitting alone and writing in a diary. If I cared about my image this would be social suicide.

Luckily I don't.

During sixth period I have my over achieving AP Calculus class, which will drive me insane. I will however be the only junior in this class and meet lots of cute seniors. Am very excited about being a big dork. People never see the benefits of it.

For seventh period I'm an intern for my favorite person in the world, Mrs. Hertz (Hz like the unit) or Aunt Claire as I call her outside of the prison they call high school. She's my mom's sister and probably the only sane person in my entire family. She's my hero and pulled so many strings to get me as her intern. I am very excited about this. Very excited.

Ew I just put my hand in gum. Must get back to Humanities before the

bell rings.

Chao.

_1:17 p.m._

Calc was a major overestimation. First day of class and I'm already in way over my head and totally bored with the people.

Stupid, naïve Lizzy thinking that having a class with "mature" seniors would be fun. Also turns out that the senior class's maturity level was a major overestimation.

Damn someone just pegged me in the head with a ball of paper must go commit murder as revenge. Do you think being provoked into murder is a viable defense? I think I could make a very convincing self-defense argument.

**_Beach Bum…_**

_Saturday, August 15; 3:30(ish) p.m._

Am currently lying on a beach after being kicked out of my house by the crazy mother claiming that noon was much too late to still be in bed. I claim that it is not but it's a moot point seeing as now I'm just sleeping on a beach. This would be pretty sweet if she hadn't made me take Bridget, the horrid younger sister whom I swear is adopted.

Bridget looks nothing like me. I'm a blonde she's a brunette. I'm tall and "curvy" whereas she's built like a stick and looks perfect in a bikini. She's mundane and superficial, whereas I like to think that I look at people as more than a hot body. She's like mom, while I'm like dad.

It really isn't fair that she gets to be all cute and stuff and I'm stuck here as wobbily old Lizzy. Aren't 14 year olds supposed to be going through some sort of awkward stage? How come Bridget totally skipped over that and was always built like a model? I suppose I got all the family awkwardness and there was none left for stupid Bridge. I'd like to think the same applies for intelligence.

Whatever, I'm going swimming.

_2 minutes later_

The water is much too cold for Florida. I blame the rain.

I can't stand to look at Bridget anymore and am now going to take another nap. I really should start going to the gym more. I don't even remember the last time I ran more than three feet. I also must start bringing more curvaceous people with me to the beach…

_**The revelations of curtains…**_

_Sunday, Aug. 16; 8:15 p.m_.

So tired.

The family dictator (a.k.a. mom) dragged me about town to help her shop for the perfect curtains then decided I had no opinion whatsoever and spent the entire time ignoring my input. She assumes that since I don't have a boyfriend I wouldn't know the perfect drapes to impress one.

She honestly told the sales clerk at Sears that she wanted them to say, "Cute and homely, but a tiger in the bedroom." Not only is that disgusting but I think she's reading way too into that kind of thing. This brings me to a string of great questions: Do guys even notice the mundane things such as drapes? If I never notice them why would they? And finally, why the hell do I care if they notice them?

The age old questions; time may never tell.

After shopping with the socially demanding and having to say the sentence "I don't care what guys like, I don't like it!" all too often she dragged me out to play tennis.

"Lizzy nothing shapes your thighs better than a good game of tennis!" she would claim. "Don't you want to impress the boys on the beach?"

"No," I would protest then serve the ball down her throat. She's never been able to beat me at tennis due to the fact that she spends more time making sure her skirt flies up a bit when she serves rather than if the serve goes in.

Good grief. I swear she's from another planet. What 40 year old does that type of stuff, especially when in the presence of her daughter? She's the type that will keep her profile on until the day she dies.

Somewhere along the line she became dependant… on men.

Ew must go shower. Sweat from tennis does not sit well when you have sand in your bum.

**_The off-conscious…_**

_Monday, August 17; Err… lunchtime. (Reminder: must buy watch!)_

I am honestly worried about Erin. She definitely addled her brain at one point in her life. Maybe even multiple times.

In the first hour of humanities, before lunch, she turns to me, after scribbling continuously in her notebook since class started, and asks, "How do you spell 'off-conscious?'"

What does one do when ones friend starts talking gibberish?

"Off-conscious?" I asked with a genuinely freaked-out look on my face.

She just stared back at me with an innocent look and nods, still smiling I might add.

"Sweetheart," I reply with all the compassion I could muster, "I don't think that's a word."

"Yes it is. It means like asleep," she states her brow furrowed in either concentration or maybe frustration. "You know like the opposite of on-conscious!" She smiled like she'd just answered the million dollar question.

I shook my head, my mouth agape. "No dear. _Un_conscious means asleep, and being _conscious_ is its opposite. I'm afraid there's no off-conscious."

She frowned. "But it makes so much sense my way. Like a light bulb, _off _and _on_."

I distinctly heard Eddy's muffled laughter in front of me and promptly kicked his chair, then looked over at Darcy silently challenging him to make fun of her too. He didn't, just looked back down at his desk.

"I know, it really does, but since when does life ever make sense?" I asked quite philosophically.

"Ooh that's a good one. Mind if I use it in my story?" she lit up and started scribbling again.

"What's your story about?" I was a bit shocked that Eddie asked her this before I could.

Erin shrugged and blushed. "Just a girl that's a bit lost."

"Aren't they all?" Eddie asked smiling. I couldn't tell if he was trying to be witty or offensive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. "You think that guys have a better grasp on the philosophies of life?"

Then Darcy stepped in. "I think that while women are worrying about the shade of their new highlights men are writing novels such as Of Mice and Men."

I turned to him my face rigid and trying as hard as I could not to mentally make the connection with what he said and yesterday's curtain ideology. "So you think that girls are only as good as their hair color or curtains?" I felt ashamed of my blonde hair that people had always told me was pretty. Had I been born to become one of those girls?

"Well I don't know about curtains…" he drifted off obviously realizing he'd started a fight he was going to loose.

"You know what I think about men?" I asked then answered my own question as Erin slammed her head on the desk in either exasperation or embarrassment, "I think that men flock to those superficial bimbos you speak of because that's the only way they feel important, because real women don't need people like you. So you can have your bimbos and think whatever you want of them but to claim that all women are like that is only feeding your insecurities!"

Darcy blushed. I love it when I get the answer right.

When the lunch bell rings he just sat there and watched me as I pack my things. I made it a point to smile as if he hadn't just upset me and not look over at him as if his opinion meant nothing in the world to me, because it doesn't.

_**The world on drugs…**_

_Wednesday, August 19; 7:40 p.m._

Life is weird, and random. There is nothing in the universe that is a weirder combination of randomness. Some call it fate. I prefer "weird combination of randomness".

How is it that Erin can like a guy since fourth grade and after only four days of sitting beside him in the same class rumor has it he likes her?

I'm not jealous though.

Pfft like I'd be jealous of stupid Eddie. I could be partly upset by Erin getting what she's wanted for so long, and me not, but that's utterly ridiculous. Or I could be jealous that she might have a boyfriend whereas I will not, but that's even more insane.

Plus I don't even want a boyfriend.

And even if I did there's no one I like enough. I bet if I really wanted a boyfriend I could have one. I could have lots of guys. Heck even Darcy.

I mean that's a total hypothetical of course. A theory I have absolutely no plans of testing.

Darcy? Pfft he's ridiculous.

_8:50 p.m._

I mean of course he's cute. He's always been cute. But he has an ego the size of Alaska, or maybe even all 50 states put together. Plus he's insufferable.

His family's beach place is near my Dad's house and I always see him there when I stay with my dad for the summer but he never says hello or anything. Not even a polite wave.

I bet he sits on the balcony of his gihugant (my word.) house and mocks my family and my Dad's tiny beach house.

Stupid freak.

I now hate him even more.

I hope he gets mono.

_**The snails are running…**_

_Friday, August 21; 4:01… 4:02… 4:03…_

You know how when there's something your absolutely dreading time goes faster?

Well it is most definitely true.

Stupid Brianna Smith invites me to her stupid party tomorrow night, and stupid me says I'll go. That's part of what I'm dreading. Whoever claims that too loud music, underage drinking, and cops makes for a good time is also very stupid.

Yet between bickering with Mrs. Hz about dropping interpretive dance, which she flat out refuses to let me do, and keeping stupid Erin from saying stupid things around Eddie and Darcy my week has been pretty crappy.

It gets worse though. Yesterday during humanities Eddie turns to Erin and casually asks for a pen. I knew he didn't really need a pen because I could see one sticking out of his chemistry folder.

Erin however didn't notice this and reaches across the aisle to hand him one of hers. (The pen was pink with little white hearts… that's so Erin.) His stupid hand lingers on her pen for ages as he grabs it from her. I bet his hand's sweaty too.

"Thanks," he mutters.

"No problem," she replies smiling and facing forward again, Eddie however is not.

"Um," he stammers with a little cough, "are you going to Brianna Smith's party on Saturday?"

Erin turns back to him and smiles. I have no clue why she smiled. I mean I wasn't smiling that's for sure. Even Darcy didn't smile. Come to think of it he actually looked quite perturbed.

"Yeah, are you?" That was even worse because she tried to hide her smile and ended up looking like a cracked-out whore.

Stupid Eddie just nods yes to her.

"Cool. I guess I'll see you there." Erin really can play it cool. She may not be able to spell nonchalant but she sure can act it.

Eddie then cleared his throat as if there was more he had to say and obviously there was because he started talking again. "Well me and Darce," he gestured to a bug-eyed Darcy, "were going to hang out Saturday so maybe you could come and just ride with us to the party?" Eddie actually looked all cute and nervous. Darcy however looked as if he might turn into the Hulk.

"That sounds awesome, but well…" she gave me an awkward look and I gave her a confused one, "I can't go without Lizzy."

I have no idea what possessed her to say that. She most definitely will be going without Lizzy!

Eddie nodded. "Definitely. Lizzy should come," I was about to jump to my feet and tell him that going with them was the last thing I wanted to do when Mrs. Warbucks comes over and chastised our section for being "overly noisy" and claimed to next person to talk would be sent to the dean.

My blood is still boiling I'm so angry. Not only am I being dragged to this stupid party but also along with the village idiots on their stupid date. Apparently I wasn't the only one who was angry about this because when the bell rang Darcy angrily snatched up his books and practically sprinted from the room totally ditching.

Moody isn't he?

_9:62… err that's not right…_

Erin is pretty freaking annoying. She's called me like three times to ask what I'm wearing and beg me to not ditch her tomorrow.

She knows me too well to know that I have no intention of going with her.

"Should I wear the pink sparkly shirt or the purple lace one?" she keeps asking.

I tell her the purple one because I've never seen the pink one and knowing her it's probably got feathers attached to it.

I'm just going to wear a couple of layered tanks and my flip flops. I like layers. They make me happy.

_**About last night…**_

_Sunday, August 23; 1:06 a.m._

Two major emotions run through me after everything that happened tonight: relief because I really did have fun despite _some_ people and am glad I don't have to worry about it anymore, and hatred the type that leaves you with an odd boiling anger that has the weirdest sensation of making you want to cry. But I won't because there is no way in hell I will ever cry over Darcy.

Erin shows up at my house Saturday morning at an ungodly hour and is practically going crazy because she tried something new with her hair and ended up with this horrible head consuming knot. It took me over an hour to get it out, using conditioner and scissors when she was preoccupied.

Then I spent half an hour convincing her she wasn't fat and that not eating breakfast would be worse than eating it. Eventually I got her to eat a piece of toast, without butter.

After that I spent another 45 minutes getting her hair "super-super straight". She wanted it so straight that I could see my reflection in it once I was done. Which is really crazy because she has naturally straight hair so I don't see what the fuss is about; I'm the one with the curls.

Darcy, the ass hole, showed up around noon with the sweetest car I've ever ridden in. Stupid spoiled brat whose daddy probably bought it for him the day he turned 16.

Jackilyn, Eddie twin sister and a total bitch, really wanted to sit up front with Darcy but somehow Eddie ended up shoving me into the front seat and Jackilyn spent the whole trip sulking from the back. I on the other hand was so naïve as to actually try to converse with stupid Darcy.

"Hi," I had said brightly. I was only trying to make the best of a bad situation.

"Hey," Darcy had replied and then just left it at that. I should have given up at that point but I was being stupid and just kept going.

"So… um what's up?"

"Er the roof I guess." I must admit I was a bit upset because that's what I sometimes say to people and because he sounded like this was the last place on earth he wanted to be.

This time I really was smart enough to leave it. Well actually it was left for me because Jackilyn started whining from the back seat about how she needed music so she wouldn't have to listen to Eddie "make an ass of himself". I kind of laughed at this, but I think Darcy's a robot because it was funny and yet he showed no emotion what so ever, just shoved his CD case onto my lap and said, "Pick something."

Little did I know that would be a hard task, because inside that overly packed CD case was every CD I'd ever loved in my entire life. It had every great song every great artist I could ever imagine, which leads me to the conclusion that he stole it, because no way a guy that has such bad taste in girls could have such great taste in music.

I pull out a Brittney Spears CD. "Is this your favorite?" I ask smiling that I'd found the one horrible CD in a sea of great ones, and the fact that he _owns_ a Brittney Spears CD. "Should we listen to it first?"

He looked a bit horrified, and even flushed a little, then snatched it from my hands. "It's my little sister's," he replied blushing some more and rolling down the window. I'm still a bit shocked that robot-boy is capable of emotions such as embarrassment.

I poked him in the arm. "You shouldn't do that. Littering is bad."

He gave me a strange look. "Um okay," he said then handed the CD back to me where I put it back in its spot while he rolled the window back up. I popped in Jack Johnson instead and spent the entire car ride singing to myself because I knew the words, but mostly because it seemed to annoy Jackilyn when I did.

Erin had decided we should go see a movie, but not just any movie "Summer Romance". I spent the entire time the previews were showing trying to plot my escape into any other theatre than the one I was in and trying not to laugh at Jackilyn trying to make moves on Darcy. Doesn't she know he's a robot that not capable of erotic responses?

After about 20 minutes of the movie I'd had enough and just got up and left because Darcy was enticed in throwing stuff up into the air and trying to catch it in his mouth, while Jackilyn was enticed by him, and giggling kept coming from the seats that supposedly belonged to Erin and Eddie.

In the lobby I was just about to walk into the latest superhero flick when this guy that works there stops me. I wasn't worried because they never take ticket stubs and if he asked for it I'd say I was just confused about which theatre I was in, but all he asked was if I was in his French class. Upon further inspection of him I realized he was.

"Were you pissed about the conjugation test? I got like a 35," he had asked. I kind of giggled because I can't speak French and managed to get an 86.

"Now you think I'm stupid," he replied blushing a bit at my giggles.

"No I don't," I protested fairly weakly, "Miss. Hernandez is a horrible teacher. It's no wonder we're all failing."

"She used to be a music teacher you know," he replied as if it was some huge scandal.

"I find it all very reassuring that if at one point I find myself fired from being a Spanish music teacher I can still get a job teaching French to unsuspecting high school kids."

The guy laughed at my joke and I really couldn't help but notice that he was kind of cute. "My names Lizzy by the way."

He smiled at me and was on the verge of replying when his eyes popped. "I have to get back to work."

I stood there a bit confused when someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Um Lizzy. Erin wants you. The movie is over, you know."

It was Darcy. He didn't even wait for a reply, just turned and headed to the doors, no doubt expecting me to follow. Unfortunately I did, but only because I had to.

By the time we get to the party Jackilyn is ecstatic because she got to ride up front with her beloved Darcy without anyone noticing, and by anyone I mean Eddie because don't you know that me and Erin are nobodies?

The party was actually kind of fun. I vetoed the beer because it tastes nasty and I can have fun without it, but I danced a lot. I now understand why people get drunk at these things, it's because they're all such horrible dancers, myself included. I don't think anyone seemed to notice how bad I was because people just kept asking me to dance with them and I felt kind of like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

Here's why Darcy is an unforgivable ass: I overhear him and Eddie mid conversation while I was getting a drink. Eddie asks Darcy why he won't dance with anyone. Darcy replies "There's no one here I want to dance with."

So Eddie says, "Look they don't have to be Aphrodite, it's just dancing. Why don't you dance with Jackie or Lizzy seems to be a pretty good dancer."

Darcy seemed to snap a little. "You honestly think I'd ever be caught dead dancing with Lizzy Morgan?"

This was rude and offensive and he didn't realize I was standing within ear shot, or at least he didn't until Damien, a nice guy in my Calc class that always throw paper balls at people, comes up and yells loud and drunkenly, "Lizzy! You have to dance with me now!" I pulled Damien into the mosh-pit-like dancing area before I could notice if Darcy had heard this, but it seems impossible that he didn't.

The ride home was awkward to say the least. I got stuck in the front again because I live farthest away and Jackilyn was too tired to argue. Once it was just the two of us in I spent the entire time wondering if I did jump out, how badly would I get hurt.

As we pull into my driveway Darcy decides he suddenly wants to start a conversation. "Look about what you heard-" he starts weakly but I cut him off by jumping from the car. It was stopped at this point though.

"Thanks for the ride," I chirp much too cheerily and falsely. Before he could say another word I was at the door and promptly hopped inside.

On the whole I had fun. Darcy may be an ass but at least I no longer have to worry about him. I can spend the rest of my life blatantly ignoring him. It can't be too difficult; I've spent much more time not talking to him than I ever did talking to him.

But to think I ever thought him cute…

_**A cool freshman…!**_

_Tuesday, August 25; 9:17 p.m._

I honestly met a cool freshman today. Believe it or not I met her in interpretive dance which I'm giving a try due to Mrs. Hz threatening to tell my mother that I made up the guy I "went out with" during freshman year. (She just had so many expectations of her daughter for high school. Apparently that didn't mean getting straight A's and AP credits.)

Anyway she was my dance partner today and after class (which consisted of getting in touch with our inner squirrel. I'm not even kidding.) she comes up to me with my bag in hand. As she handed it to me she says, "Lizzy, right?"

"Err yes. How do you know my name?" I asked back.

She shrugged as we headed out of the class. "I've heard people talk I guess."

I involuntarily blanch, and she giggles a little bit. "Don't worry, not bad stuff. Just snatches of certain people's conversations."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Like who?" At the time I was confused about what freshmen would be talking about me.

"Well your sister Bridget for one. To be honest she never shuts up about the fact that she has an upperclassmen older sister."

"Oh right I forgot about her. Well that's definitely Bridget," I smiled because I knew she wasn't as ashamed of me as she always claims.

We walked on for a second. "So who else then?"

"Who else was talking about you?" she asked and I nodded. "I can't reveal that. It's classified information."

I frowned and before I could protest, or maybe even plead she started talking again. "Look I have to go. Freshmen must be herded back to the portables."

I smiled again. "Too true, now get girl before I'm forced to lasso you." She laughed at this but I don't know if it was what I said or my horrible mock southern accent.

"Name's Jo by the way," she replied as she headed off.

"Like Josephine?"

She laughs. "Not quite." This made it seem like she had some big secret I knew nothing about. "I'll see you in dance tomorrow."

"Ok. Bye," and she disappeared as I rushed to my next class.

**_Let the feud begin…_**

_Wednesday, August 26; 6:47 p.m._

I am in love with movie theatre guy, whose name turns out to be Jack.

In French he plopped down next to me and asked about my movie.

"I don't really know I was contemplating poking my eyeballs out the entire time," I replied.

"Ooh that bad," he says wincing. "Let me guess 'Summer Romance'?"

I laughed. "You're good. Have you seen it?"

He winced again. "No thank god."

I returned with another laugh.

"You know I can sometimes get free movie passes, I mean if there's anything you've been… itching to see," he replied cautiously.

"Hmm I don't much like movies, and I'm not very 'itchy'," I replied smiling and hoping he wasn't asking me out.

"So what does it take to please the infamous Lizzy Morgan?" he asks mockingly.

"Infamous? No I'm just simple. It takes ice cream and… um a really good video tape." Had I gotten a reputation for being impossible to please?

"Right I'll keep that in mind…" he smiled at me again, for some reason his smile doesn't affect me like I thought it would.

After class he waited for me at the door. "So what class do you have next?"

"Umm," I blushed, "promise you won't make fun of me?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he replied smiling.

As we pass down the hallway I saw none other than Will Darcy with his back leaning against the wall as if waiting for someone. Jack stopped in his tracks. I looked at Darcy and then at Jack a bit confused then remembered my pact of ignoring Darcy, which had been going exceptionally well all week, and just picked up conversation again with Jack. "It's interpretive dance."

Jack looks back at me. "What?"

"My next class is interpretive dance. Walk me to it?" I ask as if I were a sex kitten, which I'm not, but it works because with one last hard look at Darcy we both set off down the hall again. Once we were out of ear shot I had to ask the burning question. "So what's up with you and Darcy? Ex lovers or something?"

He rolled his eyes and resumed his smile. "Not quite. We grew up together as best mates, then one day in middle school he woke up cool and I was no longer good enough."

"Really? I never knew that," I replied a bit shocked.

Jack shrugged, "You know how it goes."

"Popularity's a bitch," I supplied very supportively.

"Yes well Darcy is no exception," Jack stopped smiling again, "he once told my girlfriend at the time that I was cheating on her when I wasn't."

"People can be shitty," I say nodding.

"Well aren't you just the queen of generalizations," he said this going from heartbroken guy to playful Jack in record time.

"Yes and so much more."

As we got near the classroom he bugged out pretty quickly. "I guess I'll see you in Humanities?"

"Er… right." Honestly I hadn't noticed him in that class, but it matters not because Darcy is now even more so an utter ass hole. I was so angry during dance that I almost broke Jo's toe while doing the chicken dance (which is very fun) and I silently seethed every time I saw Darcy looking at me in Humanities. Even Erin seemed a bit taken aback by my state.

I think I'm quickly becoming an anger addict.

_**A sister swap? **_

_Friday, August 28; 10:17 p.m._

How is it that a person can grow up with someone and be related to them and also be that person's polar opposite? How is it that that relationship exists between me and Bridget?

There we are sitting at dinner with mom and of course she has to bring up the last subject I really wanted to discuss at the time.

"So like are you taking me shopping?" she asks all bitchy and girly.

"Like for what?" I replied mocking her girly voice.

"For a homecoming dress, you social alien!"

"Ooh you have a date to homecoming Bridget?" my mom asked suddenly all excited.

Bridget gave a smug little smirk. "Yes actually I have a couple of options open for me. What about you, dear Lizzy? Or have you managed to chase them all away with a fly swatter already?"

I couldn't give her the satisfaction of being right so instead I told a tiny white lie. "Yes actually I do have a date."

"Honestly dear?" my mom sounded skeptical but luckily Bridget seemed excited and promptly asked "Who?"

I said the first name that came to mind. "Damien Wright."

"Oh my god!" Bridget was excited for me.

"Is he cute?" My mother sounded like a 16-year-old girl.

"He's not just cute mom, he's a senior!" Bridget loves every upperclassman, she probably has pin-ups of Darcy or something.

"Well dear that's great. Now we should all go shopping tomorrow," she replied all motherly and then headed off to check her dating profile.

"You know what I don't understand," Bridget asks all innocently once mom had left.

"How about: boys, life, pollution, biology, English, or maybe even life in general?"

She makes a nasty face at me. "No I was going to say: why Damien would want to take you to homecoming." That's when she laughed at her own joke. Who does that?

Anyway Damien says it's cool because I just called him a couple of minutes ago and he sounded pretty psyched. So bite me Bridget.

Jo is cool though. I don't know how she puts up with Bridget; I only do because I have to. She was telling me about her brother today. After dance while I was taking off my new leg warmers, (a trend I feel should definitely be brought back) she comes and sits by me.

"I so love that you wear those," she said pointing to my leg warmers. "When my brother and I were little we used to dress up in our parents old 80's clothes, he would look so stupid in like my dad's huge leather jacket. I still use those pictures for bribery."

"Bridge and I used to do stuff like that. You know makeovers and stuff. We used to make the funniest commercials and movies. I should threaten to release our Harry Potter film next time she acts like a cow."

Jo smiled at me. "Oh please do. I really want to see it."

"What's he like?" I asked her kind of randomly.

"Who? My brother?" I nodded at her. "Oh he's really cool, kind of protective sometimes. We're really close though so I don't blame him much; he's like my favorite person in the world."

"Wow I must admit that's kind of corny," I replied.

She shrugs. "Yeah well he's the only person I really trust. He once caught me kissing one of his best friends, whom I later found out had a girlfriend. My brother told his girlfriend and… after that they weren't friends anymore." She looked embarrassed by this story like it wasn't one of her finer moments.

"Wow I'm sorry. That's really cruel," I told her being sympathetic just as I should be.

"Well life is sometimes cruel," she said shrugging again and stepping away with a wave. "See you," she muttered as a tall girl with a pink shirt yelled out to her, "J.D.!"

_**Lizzy to the rescue…**_

_Saturday, August 29; 2:06 p.m._

Has been decided by jury of my peers that I have thunder thighs; but by peers I mean Bridget, my mom, and Erin. I do not care what they think though because I quite like my legs, (I could kill a man with them you know.) and because this decision was mad by mom the emaciated, Bridget with her man hands, and Erin whose nose looks a bit funny if you look at it from this one angle. My god they're all so perfect. I think I'll be sick now.

I found an OK dress. I mean it's a bit slutty but everything is on me because I have pretty big boobs and long legs. Plus it's dark at homecoming so no one really sees what you're wearing.

Erin had a minor break down because everything Bridget tried on looked perfect on her. Eventually the dressing room attendant found this dress which definitely made Erin stop crying. Of course she looked ridiculously perfect in it.

Mom just kept asking me questions about Damien. Not like personality questions, things like "Is he tall enough that you can wear heels?" and "Does he know what color your dress is so he can get you some matching flowers?"

Let's be a little more superficial.

_11:50p.m._

Just got home from playing Erin's knight in shining armor.

She calls my cell at a little after 10 and sounds completely hammered. "Lizzy I need your help." She practically sobs.

"Where are you?" I ask without explanation because I know what's happened before it's said.

"The bathroom at Janie Masterson's house," she muttered this like she's embarrassed.

"Do you need me to come pick you up?" I ask her gently. All I get as a reply is some rustling on the other end. "Erin?"

"Oh right, I was nodding."

I didn't even bother to change out of my P.J.s just grabbed my keys and headed out.

Once I got there Janie looked so relieved, like I saw her saving grace. "They're so wasted and my parents are supposed to be home at like 11!" she practically screamed it at me. Who invites people over to get wasted when they expect them to leave again? "Darcy's not doing so well, I think he hit his head."

I stop searching the room for Erin for a second. "Darcy's here?"

"Yeah. I think he's passed out on the couch," she replied pointing to a sofa on the other side of the room.

This complicated things a bit.

"Where's Erin?" I asked, brushing Darcy aside.

"Upstairs. I'll go get her if you can just check Darcy." She honestly was bargaining with me over this.

"Fine," I mutter as she dashes up the stairs to get Erin. When I get over to the sofa I notice Eddie sitting in a Laz-E Boy chair and examining his hand.

"Hey Lizzy," he says all smiling and creepy. I was rather freaked out by him; he looked fairly rapist-like.

"Eddie, did Darcy hit his head?" I ask because Darcy really is out cold.

Eddie just shrugs.

"Darcy, wake up," I command prodding him, and then shoving him when that didn't work. Darcy's eyes flicker for a second and I try to sit him up, while he sticks his arms out as if he's going to shove me but he instead just grabs both my hands, and then tightens his hands around my fingers.

When Janie got back down the stairs with Erin on her heels, I quickly request a glass of water. Janie looks at me funny for a second, then dashes off to the kitchen, while Erin crawls over to me on the floor. "Lizzy I'm so sorry," she pleads and I believed her because she looked it, in fact I pitied her.

"It's ok Erin just go make sure Eddie's ok." With that she crawls off again.

As soon as Janie got back with the water I throw it over Darcy's head, and he wakes up. "Ok Janie, you get those two to the car. I'll handle him," I say pointing to Darcy.

I pull Darcy's arm over my shoulders and heave him up. "Darcy, you're going to have to help me," I plead. Eventually I get him to stand on my supports. I think it's kind of weird that until that point I never really realized how tall he really was, and how heavy. It took every muscle in my body to keep him upright all the way to my car. Eventually we get there and I drive to Erin's house first because I know where it is. By the time we're at her house she's sobered up enough to get to her bed without waking her family, so she just mutters, "thanks," and goes.

Eddie and Darcy are a whole other matter. Eddie instructs me to his house pretty well, which makes me think he didn't drink as much as I thought. As we pull into his driveway, I'm getting kind of panicked about what to do with Darcy. All Eddie offers as words of advice are "Call Georgie."

"Who's Georgie?"

"His sister," he replies as he leaves.

That's when I truly panic. First thing I do is spend five minutes groping around in Darcy's pocket trying to extract his phone, which if I was any other girl at our school this wouldn't have been so awkward. Meanwhile he's behaving like a two-year-old and pulling on a strand of my hair. Eventually, I pull the phone out and search through his phonebook for Georgie.

"Darcy, where in the hell are you?" the phone screams at me as soon as the call gets through.

"Err Georgie?" I ask and she stops.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Um, I'm Lizzy Morgan, and um, your brother is passed out in my car." This wasn't altogether true because Darcy was awake and now running a finger up and down my arm.

"Oh ok. If he comes home in that kind of state my mom might freak, so… is there anywhere else you could take him?"

I didn't like what she was insinuating.

"Yeah, sure. He can stay on my sofa." I had not been expecting to say that.

Once we got to my house, getting him inside seemed impossible, so I had to do another thing I really didn't want to.

"Bridget wake-up. I need your help," I practically had to drag her out to my car.

"Lizzy that's Will Darcy," she said stopping once she saw who it was.

Darcy started laughing which kind of freaked me out, while I was pulling his arm back over my shoulder and gesturing for Bridge to do the same on his other side. She looked like she was savoring this with all her might.

We had almost gotten him inside when he said something really crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I will not repeat it because I feel bad and because I know it's not true. Just a drunken slur.

Once we get him inside Bridget starts barking about him being all wet so I order her off to bed. While I'm trying to get pillows under his head I notice she's right about him being wet and pull off his shirt. He seemed quieter at this point. He'd stopped laughing and was just looking at me.

As I was putting a blanket over him he grabs my arm and just kind of held it. Not forcefully, but like he was trying to tell me something and I was just hoping it wasn't that thing that he'd said earlier. I had to peel his hand off my arm and I practically ran off to my room.

Please don't let him ever, ever remember last night.

_**The morning after…**_

_Sunday, August 30; 2:00 p.m._

I woke up pretty early considering how tired I was last night and there's Bridget starring at Darcy sitting on our sofa. Until that point I was convinced it was all a dream, or nightmare.

"Did you take off his shirt?" I ask Bridget yawning.

She turns to me with smiling eyes. "No you did, last night."

"Oh," I manage remembering that I did.

"He said he loved you last night, you know." She's wasn't looking at him anymore but at me, very directly and concentrated, a way I'd never seen her ever look at anyone before.

I wince. "He did not."

"Yes he did. I heard him."

I give in. "Ok so he did, but he didn't mean it."

"I think he did." She smiles at me again.

"No he didn't. He didn't know what he was saying, and right now neither do you!" I ended it like that, because that's how it is.

That's when Darcy groans and puts his hand to his head. Bridget squeaks and practically runs off to her bedroom, to make herself "presentable".

"Hey," I say simply sitting on the coffee table by the sofa.

His eyes cloud with confusion, which I am still very thankful for. "Lizzy? Where am I?"

I smiled at him in relief. "My house. Your sister told me to take you here."

"Oh god," he groans as he tries to sit up. "I need to get home."

"No you need a shower," I reply poking him in the arm, "and breakfast."

As I was scrambling the eggs later he walks into the kitchen and I couldn't help but notice the fact that he was still shirtless, and that I also felt pretty naked in only PJ shorts and a t-shirt.

"Hey how do you like your eggs?" I ask trying to look anywhere but at him.

"Um scrambled," he replied simply and I smiled.

"Good," I say pulling the pan off the stove and gesturing to a chair for him to sit at, then pouring some of the eggs onto his plate.

"What if I'd said sunny-side-up?" he asked as I put some on a plate for me and leave the rest for Bridget.

"Then I'd have said tough," I replied handing him a fork and sitting down. "So… um did you lose your shirt?" I ask him very awkwardly.

He shifts a bit uncomfortably. "No it was still wet."

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I panicked and poured water on you trying to wake you up." I still don't know why I blushed at this.

"Yeah I remember-" he starts but before I could freak out Bridget bursts into the room decked out in her summery best and I feel naked again, even though it's Darcy who's still shirtless.

"Hello sister dearest!" she says overly sweetly then looks at Darcy with a pseudo-surprised look. "Oh my! Who are you?"

"Bridget shut up. You know who he is. You helped me carry him in last night," I state simply and she glares at me.

"So where are you guy's parents?" Darcy asks politely changing the subject.

Bridget shrugs. "Hell if we know."

Darcy nods. "A lot like my family then. I see my mom on holidays pretty much and my dad died right after Georgie was born."

I frowned a little. "Dad travels, constantly, and mom dates."

"Or works out," Bridget adds. "Sundays are usually the days me and Lizzy have to ourselves."

Darcy nodded again. "Yeah Georgie and I do stuff like that. It's weird that I'm usually the one picking her up from practices and forging mom's signature for her."

"That's really sweet of you," Bridget practically swooned.

"Bridget will you do the dishes while I take Darcy home?" I had asked her that but by the time I got home they still weren't done.

Once we were both in the car, Darcy wearing one of Bridget ex-boyfriends shirts, which was way too tight, I asked him if he needed to go by Janie's.

"Why?"

"To get your car."

He nods. "I guess so." He then saw his cell phone in my cup holder and pats his pocket.

"Sorry I used it to call your sister last night," I reply to his unasked question hoping he doesn't want to know how I got it out to call her.

"Did you-" he never finished because I smiled hard and blushed and he understood how it had happened. "Oh… thanks."

I blushed again as we pulled into Janie's driveway because I remembered the arm caressing while I was on the phone last night.

"Thanks for last night," he said awkwardly as he climbed out of the car.

"It's ok," I reply as he shuts the door and I drive off.

When I got home all Bridget says to me is, "He really does love you," and I'm too exhausted to correct her.


	2. Once Upon a September

_A/n yey new month in Lizzy world. A little bit shorter but not much. Oh Lizzy you have so many faults! _

_Have fun with her._

_Love Marsh_

_**Weird week…**_

_Friday, September 4; 7:11 p.m._

It's been an altogether weird week. Darcy's been too embarrassed to even apologize for what happened last weekend; as well he should be because he made a complete ass of himself. I mean really who's that stupid and immature, and then to not even say thank you. Grr. Anyway I care not because I can go back to my strict regimen of ignoring him. This shall be even more welcome than usual.

I also think Erin's a bit embarrassed about it all too. Oh, that and the fact that I tore her to pieces in our Israel debate on Tuesday. She claims it wasn't so much a debate as it was public humiliation. I told her that if she had had a stronger argument I wouldn't have had to embarrass her. She's been a bit surly ever since. I think I may need to find a new opponent for the next debate.

Anyway, Damien made a top-secret confession to me on Thursday. Turns out he was very relieved when I asked him to homecoming because there were no girls he could consider asking.

"Why not?" I asked him.

He just looks at me for a second then writes simply on a corner of his paper: "I'm gay. Don't tell." He then ripped off that corner and swallowed it so no one else could read it.

At first I was shocked but the more I think about it the better it sounds. We'll have a lot of fun at homecoming and I won't have to worry about him thinking I like him. If Bridget found out though she'd make fun of me for the rest of my life. She's too closed minded.

I've kind of been avoiding Jack because he's asked me out twice now and for some reason I can't bring myself to say yes. He's fun and cute and I have no abject reason to object, but it all just seems too easy. If I went out with him it would be because he's asking not because I really wanted to. I think we'd be better as friends.

Here's the worst bit of my week: Bridget finally picked her homecoming date and brought him over Wednesday night "to study", which in Bridget world means parade him around in front of mom, who loves him for some reason, and I, who can't stand him.

He's a sophomore named Trevor whom has taken it upon himself to "flatter me", which in twit world means bug me and call me "sweetums." I don't think he likes Bridget at all and I don't see why she'd like him. He's like five feet tall, thinks he's English nobility, and looks like he's 12.

Good grief, and to think I ever thought Bridget had at least some standards.

_**D if for Dad…**_

_Sunday September 6; 9:46 p.m._

Daddy came back in town Saturday morning!

Mom cried for like an hour, asking repeatedly, "Why do you like him more than me?"

I was tempted to reply with, "Why do you like Bridget more than me?" but decided it was a safer bet to just claim, "I don't. I just see him less," which is also true.

My Dad and I have one of those weird relationships where we think all the same things are funny or important or whatever. Bridget says we're "infuriatingly similar", and we can be because Bridget is so different than us. I think she secretly loves our weird conversations because she always tags along when we go places even though she says it's frustrating being the odd man out. This is similar to how I feel when I'm around Mom and Bridget.

Anyway, dad brought me an awesome new book about Greece (our place that he always promised he'd take me to) and Bridget this cute bohemian skirt. It's weird that he sees us both so little but knows us well enough to know I'd prefer to get a book while Bridge prefers clothes and jewelry.

"How's my little Lizzy?" he growls as soon as he walks through the door and me and Bridget jump around and giggle like we're six-years-old again.

He hugs me first and leans back so my feet come off the ground (something I always do to my itty-bitty mother) and Bridget squeaks as he throws her over his shoulder.

"I missed my girls," he said stepping back to look at us both. "Lizzy I think you've grown another inch." I blushed because I had. Then he pokes Bridget's hair and says, "I like the new color."

She smiled as if he'd just said, "You won the Nobel Peace Prize." "Thanks Daddy! Lizzy did it for me." I blushed again because this is also true. Bridget's made me dye her hair for her way too often.

"Well Lizzy is quite a hairstylist," he says grinning and for no apparent reason, but the image of me cutting people's hair, we all start to giggle. "So where's your Mom? I'll take my three girls out to dinner."

To an outsider a man taking his ex-wife out to dinner with him might seem weird but for my family it isn't. My parents understood from the moment they got divorced that neither would stand in the way of the other and us. Since my dad lives in Virginia the opportunities for my mom to jump in the middle are limited anyway. He's only in town about once every month or so but when he is he takes us all kinds of places and sleeps on our couch because I think my mom misses him as much as we do sometimes.

My parents got married young and I think my Mom developed bitterness at never getting to experience college or her 20's at all. She was married at 19 and had two kids by the time she was 23. When Aunt Claire got married and my Mom brought me and Bridge to Florida for the wedding I think it really sunk in with her that her marriage wasn't quite what she wanted anymore. She brought me and Bridget down here and told Dad that maybe it was better if he stayed there with his shop.

Dad would visit as much as he could, he even bought a beach house down here, but he had started a bookshop in Virginia and you can't ask someone to just abandon their dream. So he commuted for a long time, but ever since his shop's been expanding and he's gotten to see less of us but more of the world.

Mom's not bitter about him not moving here because it was her choice to leave, but she's always been upset by his relationship with me and Bridge. "He loves you two more than he ever could have loved me." She'd said that once and I've never been able to forget it.

At dinner I told him all about school and my debate while Bridget raved about Homecoming and her dress (I couldn't help but notice she didn't mention Trevor) and my mom talked about her curtains and her latest date. That night he kicked all our butts in Scrabble (actually he only beat me by two points, but he practically played for Bridget so he scored way more points on the whole) and he fell asleep on our sofa.

The next morning we awoke to find our favorite kinds of doughnuts on the counter, (which my mom refused to eat citing calorie numbers) and took us all to his beach house for the day.

"So do you like your book?" he asked as I ruffled through the pages.

I nodded. "I love all the mythology. The Greeks were so weird."

He nodded. "Yeah I thought you would. You loved all the fables and fairytales I used to read to you when you were little."

I smiled back. "I remember being so indignant that the little mermaid died for unrequited love. That always seemed so stupid."

"You were so upset you refused to even watch the Disney movie. You were such a stubborn child."

I laughed at the truth of that statement and so did mom.

It was the perfect weekend but he leaves again tomorrow morning and I'll have to deal with another week at school and all the drama that involves.

If life were like a fairytale… or not because most fairytales have sad endings.

If only life were like a Disney movie. There that's better.

_**We can work it out…**_

_Monday, September 7; 5:14 p.m._

Everything's cool with Erin again. She was still upset about the whole debate thing so I passed her a note with the lyrics to her favorite Howie Day song. After she finished reading it she turned to me and exclaimed "Oh Lizzy!" with tears welling in her eyes and I grinned back a little worried that she might cry. Eddie turned around and looked at me like I was a magician.

"What'd you say to her?" he wrote on a piece or paper and dropped it on my desk.

"I can't tell. It's a secret," I wrote right back and shoved it down the back of his shirt.

After he read it he turned to me and scowled, so I smiled back sweetly and stuck my tongue out at him. Just because Erin likes him doesn't mean I have to be nice to him.

During lunch I found out what was truly behind Erin's tears and relieved that it wasn't me. It turns out Eddie wasn't "talking to her" and "if he kept it up then she didn't know if she wanted to go to Homecoming with him."

I found it a little ironic that as she said this, my homecoming date stopped at our table. "Erin!" Damien cried and I couldn't help but wonder how I hadn't noticed he was gay before he'd told me, "I just wanted to say that whoever he is, he's so not worth the tears."

Erin looked at him and I was thankful that he'd gotten her to stop screeching. "Thanks Damien. Want to sit down?"

I scooted over and as soon as he sat we began an Eddie bashing that lasted the rest of lunch. We then made plans to eat ice cream and watch "Tristan and Isolde" at my house tonight. The sad part is that, that sounds like one of the best dates ever.

_**Raving cravings…**_

_Tuesday, September 8; 11:45 p.m._

Serious chocolate craving. Please help me.

_**Excuses shamuses…**_

_Monday, September 14; 3:17 p.m._

Jack asked me out again.

This time I at least had an excuse to say no because it's homecoming this weekend and I promised Erin I'd go to the football game with her, Eddie, and Eddie's girlfriend Darcy to better advise her on her situation with Eddie.

I wish I could have just told Erin I had plans to lay curled up in a ball on my bed eating candy and listening to unnecessarily sappy songs for the next three days, but she wouldn't stand for that after she caught me consuming an entire bag of M&Ms yesterday.

Stupid cow.

_**The Queen of embarrassment…**_

_Friday, September 18; really late… actually it is past midnight so I guess that makes it Sunday._

So one of the best and worst parts about our school is that even though our football team sucks and lost their homecoming game is that everyone gets super dressed up and every person within a 50 mile radius comes to the game.

Since it's homecoming week you get to wear tacky costumes all week to school (I was especially proud of my Spiderman pajamas) and I have perfected the art of Tacky Day. Then today we all wore our homemade Morris High t-shirts, which me and Bridge spent all of Thursday night making, and are especially sparkly and colorful. It's really weird because they coordinate colors to the specific classes (seniors are pink, juniors are lime, sophomores are blue, and freshmen are black) so all day you just see swarms of specific colors coming at you. So spirit week was embarrassing but fun.

Now for the real embarrassment:

So me and Erin totally decked ourselves out in everything lime green we could find for the game tonight. We looked like idiots with tattoos all over out faces and pom-poms shoved almost everywhere they'd stay, but it was all fun and we were excited about it. Turns out Eddie and Darcy thought it much less fun, but honestly who just wears a white t-shirt to the Homecoming football game?

Erin and I were on total sugar highs because we ate the rest of my stash of candy bars and I must admit we were a bit giggly which Darcy especially seemed to scorn, Eddie actually thought it was funny. For the entire ride to the game I made Darcy blast some of the worst music one has ever heard (actually I just hit him on the arm every time he tried to turn it off and eventually he gave up.) and me and Erin danced like idiots and did the robot on way too many occasions.

Once we got to the game Jackilyn quickly found us and attached herself to Darcy which made me laugh at the sheer misery on his face. Everything between Erin and Eddie seemed fine to me and he looked like it was the most fun he'd ever had at a football game. The three of us cheered and even managed to get our section to do the wave at least three times. After every time we did this Jackilyn would whisper to Darcy, quite audibly, "Can you believe them?" or even on one occasion, "Are they high?" but this just made me want to do it again.

At half time none other than Bridget comes and jumps on my back and Trevor follows right behind her then grabs my hand and says, "Lizzy dearest you look ravishing!" and I just laugh him off because I'm having too much fun to care. I also notice Erin and Eddie giggling and Jackilyn looking quite smug.

Bridget and Trevor stand with us in line for the snack bar, but mostly because Bridget wanted me to buy her water and talk to Darcy. "Hey Darcy!" she says smiling and I can't help but wonder why she's wearing pink when her class' color is definitely black.

"Hi Bridget," he replies politely but reluctantly and I scowl because he has no reason to be proud, Jackilyn scows too but I'm guessing not for the same reason.

If Bridget were smart she would have taken her water and left but instead she smiles and speaks to Darcy again, "You really do look hot tonight Darcy," and I blush for her sake.

"Er… thanks?" he says but he didn't sound much excited by it.

Stupid Bridget still doesn't shut her mouth, "So are you-" she begins, so I shut it for her by squeaking out an "Oh Bridget look at him!" because I know Bridget well enough to know a hot guy would distract her.

"Ooh where?" she asks all excited and even Jackilyn and Erin turn to look.

I point to Tommy Jones, who's actually really cute for a sophomore, and Bridget looks at me like I just found her the perfect book to read. "His name's Tommy!" I say all excited. "You should _definitely_ go talk to him!" As predicted Bridget runs off, but unfortunately Trevor stays.

I spent the next three minutes trying desperately to open my Gatorade with Trevor leaning over my shoulder asking repeatedly, "Do you need help with that sweetums?" Eventually I "accidentally" elbow him and he scampers off. After another two minutes I notice that the stupid lid had managed to shred my hand to pieces, and I'm not exaggerating. So then conceited Darcy just snatches it out of my hand and starts trying to open it, but before he could I try to grab it back and say, "That's mine."

Darcy looks at me for a second then starts to open it again, so I reach for it again. "I said that's mine!" I didn't manage to get a hold of it that time either so he just goes back to opening it. "Would you stop? That's my damn bottle!" I got angry really fast.

"I'm just trying to open it for you," Darcy replies and he looked pretty confused.

"Well I don't need your help," I mutter and give another attempt to grab the bottle but he just reaches it up over his head so I cant reach.

"Why won't you let me open it for you?" he asks pretty seriously but Erin giggles.

"During freshmen year when me and Liz wanted to go hit on guys we'd ask them to open our bottles for us," Erin replies still giggling and I scowl at her and jump up for the bottle over Darcy's head and accidentally bump into him.

"You honestly did that crap?" Darcy asks and Jackilyn mutters, "Oh that's so mature."

"Fine," I grumble, "I don't want the stupid Gatorade." I then cross my arms over my chest and scowl some more.

Erin giggles again. "One time we brought Starbursts to the game and threw them at people we thought were cute."

I blush because I was so stupid and naïve back then. I even threw one at Darcy.

Eddie looks over at Erin. "Hey I remember I got hit in the head by things for almost every game during freshman year!" he shouts and Erin blushes.

"That was Erin. Not me," I supply but I'm still scowling.

About five seconds after that I'm watching Eddie grab Erin's hand when someone wraps their arms around me and says in an overly deep voice, "Hello beautiful!" I squeak and turn to see Damien smiling and wearing a pretty tight Morris High shirt.

"Damien!" I say smiling again.

"Whatcha doin' sweetheart?" and I laugh because he only talks in that voice when other people are around.

"Nothing really, but if you could get my Gatorade back from Darcy I'll love you forever," I reply and he steps up to Darcy smiling and Darcy just hands it over to him. Damien then opens it and takes a sip. "Hey that's mine!" I protest and hit him on the arm which causes him to spill Gatorade down the front of his shirt. "Oh shit! Sorry Dames."

He just shrugs and hands the bottle to me and Erin giggles about how the red stained his shirt to look like blood. Damien notices her and gives her a big hug. "You feeling better today Erin?" he asks as Eddie kind of glares at him.

Erin nods and holds up her and Eddie's hands and Damien nods and smiles.

"Guess what Dame," I say as we head back over to the bleachers to reclaim our seats, "I'm gonna marry James Franco!"

Damien smiles really widely. "Not if I have anything to do about it," he replies which makes me laugh hysterically because Damien's been telling me ever since we watched "Tristan & Isolde" that he's in love with James.

The second half of the game went pretty fast because me and Damien talked the entire time about what life would be like if I was married to James. By the third quarter Damien and Erin had made up their minds that I was too stubborn to ever even date someone yet alone marry them, and I laughed because it's kind of true.

Just as the game was beginning to wind down and most of us had settled into the fact that we'd lost our homecoming game a lot of the people started to ebb out of the bleachers when I see none other than my mother walking down the steps beside us.

"Mom?" I say before I even notice what she's wearing and she comes rushing over to us.

Damien and Erin keep giggling beside me and Eddie and Darcy's jaws drop. "What are you doing?" I ask gesturing to her black sports bra and the blue "O" she had painted on her bare stomach.

She smiles, which makes me scowl, "Oh don't be so dramatic Lizzy. Me and the girls thought it'd be fun to spell out 'MORRIS'. See I'm the 'O'," she replies pointing to her stomach as if that solved everything and I just bury my head in my hands. "Lizzy you're being ridiculous," she mutters and then with a final, "Oh bye Erin dear!" I hear her thud down the rest of the stairs.

After I finally decided I could show my face again Damien said, "Good bye," and disappeared out towards the parking lot and soon after so does Jackilyn smiling as if it were Christmas.

I really thought that was all the embarrassment I could stand until on the way out the gate I saw Bridget making out with Tommy by the bathrooms and had to drag her off him and give her a ride home with us.

She spent the entire ride sulking and muttering things like, "You told me I should talk to him," and me having to sternly reply at least four times, "I said talk to him, not shove your tongue down his throat!"

Eventually we got to our house and Erin gave me her best I'm sorry look while Eddie nodded "goodbye" and Darcy just ignored me and Bridge as I dragged her out of the car.

You'd think that for just one night maybe my family could behave themselves, but it turns out they can't.

**_Major regrets…_**

_Sunday, September 20; 4:16_

Just woke up. Last night was long. Scratch that. Last night and all of this morning was long. I didn't go to bed until eight-ish.

So homecoming… where to start? I'll try to stay in chronological order, but I did something that's kind of stuck in my head.

First things first I spent way too much of Saturday worrying about really stupid things such as my hair when it turns out my hair actually only stayed in its stupid twist, that I'd spent all day on, for about five minutes.

Pictures were just a huge mess at Erin's house. Aunt Claire came because mom wanted to go see Bridget off to her first dance. I was actually really happy about this little switch because after the football game the last thing I needed to worry about during the stupid dance was my mother not acting her age. Aunt Claire did awesome and even helped me and Erin do this cool thing where we put jewels on our eyelashes. They made the blue in my eyes look really good even if they were so very uncomfortable.

So pictures were pretty basic and the only thing that happened was Darcy bringing Jackilyn as his date and me having to put-up with her. Damien did so great though because every time she said something bitchy he'd look at her and say "Are you talking to yourself again Jackilyn?" and she'd blush and get angry.

My only complaints with Damien were that he was a little too short so I was taller than him with my heels on and he got very easily distracted all night and left me to fend for myself when I really could have used his help… but I'll explain that when I get to it.

We just drove Eddie's "spoiled kid car" (as Erin calls it) which was a really sweet Range Rover, and the only one that would fit us all in it, and Erin got to choose the music meaning we listened to "Jesse's Girl" at least three times and Damien and I had way too much fun making idiots of ourselves by dancing in the back seat.

When we got there it was pretty much the customary mosh pit with people grinding all over each other to really dirty rap music, interrupted for very short periods of horrible boy-band slow songs.

Dancing was okay but as I mentioned Damien kept disappearing and I ended up abandoned with all these crazy girls who are really horrible dancers. I also noticed that Bridget was one of them.

At one point he left to go to the bathroom just as some stupid Backstreet Boys song came on that no one has even heard since the late 90's. Erin and Eddie began one of those overly close slow dances and Jackilyn tried to prod Darcy into asking her to dance. Eventually she gave up and went to buy a soda.

I stood there swaying with a goofy smile on my face and Darcy looked over at me and honestly smiled. Darcy smiling in itself is an utter miracle but what happened next was even more insane he turns to me and grabs my wrist then says something I wouldn't hear over the music.

"What?" I shouted back overly loudly.

He stepped closer to me and was still holding my wrist. When he was close enough that I could feel his breath on my ear and he mutters, "Do you want to dance?"

At the time I was a bit too dizzy to remember that Lizzy Morgan isn't good enough to dance with someone as great as Will Darcy, and also not stable enough in my heels to stand up on my own without swaying. "Sure," I yelled back and gave a funny face because robot-Darcy was still smiling.

I held onto him a bit tighter than I probably should have but Erin had been feeding me 7-ups constantly throughout the night knowing of particularly hyper reaction I have when I drink more than one 7-Up so after an hour I was completely uninhibited and unstable.

I probably stepped on his feet more often than I even realized because he winced at least five times within the first minute. "I'm sorry it's the heels," I shouted at him my ears ringing from the last pounding rap anthem.

He didn't reply and I noticed he'd stopped smiling. Maybe he'd finally realized that he was dancing with the horrible Lizzy Morgan.

"Now you say something to the effect of 'It's okay Lizzy!'" I replied rather coldly as I pulled back enough to poke him in the chest and turned my ankle in the process, luckily he grabbed both my arms preventing me from hitting the ground. "Fine," I grumbled after another minute of his silence, "we won't talk then."

I held out for another ten seconds until I sputtered, "Geeze why'd you even ask me to dance if you hate me so much?" and when he still refused to reply I pulled out of his grasp and just twirled off the dance floor.

"Are you having fun?" Erin asked me and shoved another 7-Up in my hand at about 11-ish. "Can you believe we only have half an hour left?"

I clapped my hands not realizing how off beat I was with the song. "No way man. We just got here!" 7-Up honestly has more of an effect on me than alcohol ever did.

"So where's Damien?" Eddie asked looking all around.

I shrugged. "Hell if I know!" I answered everything as if I was a cheerleader, with a huge smile on my face and an overly perky tone.

"Are you okay there Lizzy?" Erin asked grabbing my arm as I tripped over one of my heels when I jumped in an attempt to dance. "Maybe we should go?" she asked looking to Eddie.

Eddie shrugged, "There'll be traffic if we wait anyway."

"Ugh finally!" Jackilyn muttered all bitchy then rushed off to stand in the line to get her purse back.

"I have to get mine too," Erin muttered and looked at me. "Liz do you need me to get yours for you?" she asked and I viciously shook my head no.

"I didn't bring one!" I shouted back.

"Okay. Darcy can you watch her for me?" Erin asked as I wobbled again on my shoes and he nodded and grabbed hold of my arm to steady me. "Great. Eddie you find Damien," she directed all cool and collected and I could tell that Eddie was impressed because he immediately set off to look for him as Erin joined Jackilyn in line.

I wobbled yet another time and Darcy instantly grabbed my arm fairly viciously and used it to roughly support me in my horrible standing methods. "Lizzy maybe you should sit," he yelled over another excessively loud song and gestured to the waist height wall where only a small group of girls were seated.

He took another ankle twisting to mean that sitting would be a great idea and put his other arm around me to grab my waist on the far side and prevent me from falling backwards or to the side opposite him. Walking over was awkward because of how he held his arms around me and the fact that every step took me much too long. By the time we got over there I was in severe agony and my left foot was even bleeding. (For the record I should state that Erin made me get those heels because they matched my dress but I really didn't want them.)

"Geeze Lizzy," Darcy whistled when he saw the blood on my foot and bent down to take it off for me. "Promise me you'll never wear these again," he said holding up the shoe of pain once he got it off my foot, then he took off the other one.

"Well what else am I supposed to wear?" I asked sassily back and shuffled my feet.

"I have a pair of Reefs in Eddie's car that you can borrow for the rest of the night," he replied and for the first time in my life I was willing to let him rescue me, or at least my feet.

"In the car?" This posed a problem. "How do I plan on getting to the car without shoes?"

"You walk?" he asked back.

I shook my head. "I'm not getting ringworm. Bridget had it when we were kids. It's really the most disgusting thing in the world."

He lifted an eyebrow at me. "I never knew you were such a health freak," he replied and I glared. "Fine, fine," he continued throwing his hands up in surrender before I'd even managed to reply. "I'll carry you I guess."

"I don't need you to carry me!" I snapped back grabbing my shoes and gently shoving them onto my feet. After getting them on without visibly wincing (which is quite a hard feat) so that Darcy wouldn't know exactly how much they hurt me I stood and walked, very wobbly, back to the spot where Erin had designated to meet back up with us. I tried so hard not the wince or limp or show any signs or pain but the shoes were killing me and my ankles were already swelling from rolling them so many times that it seemed inevitable that I'd collapse in pain. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, for me when my ankle finally did give out for the last time someone caught me.

Without a single word Darcy threw me over his shoulder and after one feeble "Put me down!" I acquiesced and let him carry me to where Erin and the rest were waiting and keep on doing so until he set me down in the front seat of the Range Rover.

We all had decided about a week ago, when Erin made the arrangements, that we would all just crash at Eddie's house for the night, because he had enough bedrooms for each of us and also because his parents were out of town. When we pulled up to Eddie's house Darcy opened my door holding out the heaven sent shoes he'd promised me.

"Thank you," I whispered honestly grateful and it wasn't until I got out of the car and tried to stand up that I realized that they wouldn't help me all that much and quickly collapsed back into the seat tears welling involuntarily and grabbing my ankle. "Shit," I whispered rubbing my ankle. It hurt really badly.

"Did you sprain it?" Darcy asked gesturing to my ankle and I realized he hadn't moved since handing me the shoes.

I looked at him and considered saying I was fine and just walking anyway but the pain was excruciating and I was just too exhausted to be stubborn, so I told him the truth with a simple nod.

He grabbed both my hands and threw me over his shoulder once again carrying me to Eddie's ultra comfortable living room sofa. As soon as Jackilyn saw this she looked very upset.

"You good?" he asked lifting up my leg with his hand a bit higher up on my leg than it was probably supposed to be and shoving a pillow under my ankle. "I did something similar in Baseball freshman year. It hurts doesn't it?"

I nodded looking at him, hoping that something on his face would explain to me why he was being so nice. "I'll be okay," I supplied to Erin's horrified expression when she walked into the living room followed by Eddie and Damien.

Jackilyn snorted from her seat on the other side of the coffee table and Darcy shot her a dirty look then turned to Erin and said, "I think she sprained it is all."

Erin came and sat on the floor beside my sofa and Darcy moved to the other side of the table in a chair similar to Jackilyn's except with a lever that he pulled to release a foot rest.

"I know just what Lizzy needs to make it feel better," Eddie said sounding excited and holing up two bottles of vodka as Damien set out a bunch of shot glasses.

Erin looked horrified for a second and quickly told Eddie she didn't think it was such a good idea. With a simple, "It'll take her mind off the pain," from Eddie Erin gave up and grabbed a shot glass for the both of us.

"Okay Jackilyn gets to pick the game," Eddie stated handing his sister a shot glass and she brightened up.

"Okay Truth or Dare," she said quickly and everyone groaned except her and Damien.

"Truth or Dare is probably the most ridiculous game of all time," Darcy protested.

"It's not even a drinking game," I put in.

"Yes it is," Jackilyn replied to my statement not Darcy's, "You don't do something: you take a shot. That simple."

"That doesn't make it a good game," I threw back out again.

"Okay it is Jackie's turn to pick so we'll play for a bit and if it sucks we'll do something else," Erin replied very diplomatically. "Plus neither of us has played since that time in seventh grade," she said giving me a secretive smile and an eyebrow wiggle.

I groaned again remembering getting my first kiss from Tom Thompson (horrible name) from playing that game. "Now I _really_ don't want to play."

Everyone took this to mean that we were in fact going to play.

Jackilyn smiled. "Okay I'll pick first. Erin truth or dare?"

Erin looked startled for a second. "Um dare, I guess."

Everyone laughed as Damien let a "You go girl" slip out.

"Okay I dare you to take a shot," Jackilyn said and Eddie turned to her in protest.

"That's the dumbest thing ever Jacks!" he muttered as Erin took her first shot of the evening.

Erin then turned to me and after I stated, "Truth," asked me if I really was hurt or if I was just playing the damsel role. I just gave her and incredulous look and replied, "Since when have I ever been the Damsel type?" and she understood that it was a wasted question and that I was honestly injured.

I made Damien then lick Jackilyn's foot and he had Darcy take off three articles of clothing (two shoes and a sock) who asked Jackilyn to lick her brother's ear (she took the shot) who then turned back to me and asked me (I went with truth again) what the farthest I'd gone with a guy was and everyone was really shocked that I'd only ever kissed and not even made out with anyone. I wasn't embarrassed though because I just told them I'd never liked any guy enough to let them thrust his tongue down my throat yet alone his hand up my shirt.

I made Eddie do a strip tease until he was only in his boxers who asked Erin to make out with him (we all averted our eyes because it's weird to watch people that are dating kiss.) who made Damien list the top five people he'd like to sleep with (which I know for a fact to be made up because they were all women) who asked Darcy about his "Ideal woman". This part made me laugh because only Darcy would have a list like this.

"Well she has to be really smart but not smarter than me. She has to know how to play the guitar really well and maybe the drums too. She should be really, really beautiful but not let it all hang out of her shirt," he said holding his hands out in front of his chest, I then rolled over at this gesture a bit disgusted and examined the ceiling. "She should also be able to make me laugh and have read every great book, listened to every great CD, and have legs that go on for days."

This is when I snorted and laughed. "Good luck with that," I said turning back to the group and smiling. "I honestly don't think you'll ever meet that girl, but best of luck to you."

"Why?" he asked me, "What's so wrong with having standards?"

I smiled again. "Nothing. Everyone knows I have them. I'm just saying that I don't think that type of overly perfect person exists and even if they do who would want that? I want someone overly flawed because that makes it interesting." Everyone just kind of looked at me and I felt stupid for having said that. My face heated up rather quickly.

"Um right," Erin rescued me by clearing her throat, "Darcy it's your turn."

Darcy continued to stare at me. "Fine Lizzy then. Who is your 'horribly flawed man'?" he asked rigidly.

I smiled at him. "Dare," is all I said.

"Dare?" he asked rigidly again. "Fine then I dare you to explain yourself for once in your life."

I scowled. "That's crap you can't do that! I don't want to play anymore," I replied not allowing Darcy to do things his way especially when that meant him breaking rules, and I sat up trying to make an exit.

"Okay forget the games," Eddie said and filled up everyone's shot glass except for mine because I'd shoved it between the sofa cushions and was already standing on my good foot. I made it two hops before Darcy scooped me up in his arms once again, but this time I didn't let my protests fall flat and took to yelling and scowling and even punching him a coupe times in the arm. Every time I did though he'd just hold me down a little tighter and match my scowl perfectly.

When he'd finally set me down on one of the million guests beds I'd at least calmed down a little bit. "You can't do that you know? You can't expect everyone to bend to your wishes."

He looked at me just as hard and coldly as I'd ever looked at him and muttered, "Neither can you," then flicked off the light and left me alone in the huge room to get absolutely no sleep.

The next morning I couldn't even face him and hobbled very slowly and painfully out to my car thankful that I'd hurt my left leg and not my right so I could drive myself home. When I got home I finally fell asleep on my sofa watching TV with ice on my ankle and unfortunately still thinking about stupid Will Darcy.

The majority of my Sunday has been spent wondering exactly how crazy he is and how I'd ever even let that ass hole help me in any way shape or form.

_6:30 p.m._

Stupid Darcy was right. Just got back from the doctors. Turns out my ankle is definitely sprained. I have to use crutches for the next three weeks. Also now considering dropping out of school. My arms will never recover from this crutches induced type of soreness. Stupid heels. _So_ not worth it.

_**Let the rumors begin…**_

_Monday, September 21; 6:06_

I hate people. I especially hate people at school. I am so over High School.

So today this damn girl comes up to me right before the first period and asks me if Darcy is as good looking with his clothes off as he is with them on.

"Hell if I know," I replied shrugging and looking at her like she was the biggest freak I'd ever met.

"Lizzy, you don't have to be all modest and shit. Just tell me: is he a good kisser?" she looks at me expectantly and I can't believe she even knows my name, yet alone anything else.

"Why on Earth would I ever know or care what kind of kisser Will Darcy is?" I asked back incredulously.

"Well you two are hooking up." I gave her a beady eyed look. "Aren't you?"

"Listen girly me and Darcy aren't doing anything together yet alone hooking up! So whoever told you that is completely insane!"

She looked embarrassed for a second. "Well we just thought… after seeing you two at the dance…"

"Well you assumed very, very wrong." I walked away as quickly as possible when the warning bell released me from the awkward scene.

I'd like to say that, apart from that one isolated incident, my insane behavior went completely unnoticed but that would be a lie. I got at least three girls asking me how he was, two separate guys I don't even know asked me out, and this one girl was literally crying so I hard I couldn't understand her and even Erin asked me during lunch if I was sleeping with Will Darcy.

I can't honestly believe that people think me and Darcy would ever do anything. I despise him and based on his steely actions today in Humanities I'd say the feeling's mutual. (He was really cold. Acted like no one was there. Didn't even move his head in any direction but forward.)

God the idea of it is repulsive.

People are like obsessed with it. No one's even mentioned my new crutch companions. Well except Jo who laughed when she saw me and quickly pointed out the bright side that I no longer had to change for dance.

_**The week from hell…**_

_Friday, September 25; 3:56 p.m._

This week has been horrible. I really wish my stupid pain killers for my ankle worked for my head too. I'm not even allowed to take any migraine medicine because that'd be "mixing medications"!

It's horrible. Every single day this week got progressively worse. It seems that no matter what I tell people they still seem to think that Darcy and I are sleeping together despite the fact that we don't even acknowledge each other's presence. Even Erin says our relationship is suspicious. "He was acting particularly entranced by you at the dance and you have to admit there's a spark between the two of you guys."

I spat at this idea. "There's no spark between me and Darcy. The only feelings we share is hatred and disdain."

She looked at me and smiled. "_I_ know that but the rest of the school seems to think you're having a secret love affair."

"Leave it too high school girls to find a trashy romance novel in any situation."

On top of all that crap, which I have now decided to ignore completely and just tell people to fuck off, my ankle is swelling even bigger everyday so I now have to spend the entire weekend with my ankle elevated watching horrible made-for-TV movies because the drugs make me too dizzy to drive to the movie store. So while everyone else heads out to see the new pirate movie, Bridget and Erin among them (although separately), I'm stuck at home having a date with my favorite sofa.

_**The greatest guy I've ever met and the least…**_

_Saturday, September 26; 11:30-something_

So last night very much did not suck.

Super-sweet Jack showed up at my house at 7-ish with movies (_How to Lose a Guy in 10 _Days and _Anchorman_; we watched _Anchorman_) and a pint of Starbucks coffee ice cream.

"You said this was your perfect date," he exclaimed when a semi-googly eyed Bridget let him into the house and when he kissed me on the cheek she scowled and walked out.

"That is way too sweet," I exclaimed a bit more girly than my liking.

He shrugged and looked cocky. "What can I say…?"

We watched the movie and I ate way too much of the ice cream. It was fun but quiet, except when he continually quoted the next line in the movie, until around ten when Erin called in tears saying she was coming over.

She looked pretty startled to see Jack there but he scurried off pretty quickly and she took no time to ask the dreaded question. "So Lizzy may I ask?"

I scowled. "There's nothing to ask about. He just showed up." She just smirked and I quickly changed the topic because after that appearance I was tempted to be attracted to Jack.

"So what's the big, big fiasco?"

She suddenly stopped smiling and looked down at the floor. "We broke up."

"What?" I practically yelled back.

"Eddie says he thinks we should just be friends," she muttered.

"Oh, that jerk!"

"Lizzy don't say that. Eddie is not a jerk. He's really sweet."

"Sweet? Erin sweet guys don't just brake up with you for no reason," I replied disbelieving that she'd actually defend him.

"He really did seem upset to do it."

I rolled my eyes.

"Lizzy really don't be mean to him. I still really like him." As she said this she looked so downcast and hopeless that I felt so bad for being so rude.

We spent the rest of the night with me allowing her to drill me on Jack while watching _How to Lose a Guy_. Eventually she fell asleep on my small sofa, and woke me up twice due to her snoring.

Sometimes I don't understand how Erin can be so nice.

_**Stupid Eddie…**_

_Monday, September 28; 4:15 p.m._

Today Eddie decided to change seats for Humanities. He purposefully asked the teacher if he could try a new spot out because he's being "distracted" in his old seat. (Or at least that's what I assumed.) Luckily though he ended up in Jack's seat, which means Jack now has his.

The only bad part of this situation is now that Jack has had his "first date" he acts as if we're dating and Darcy shoots bullets across the aisle at the two of us every five seconds. Like he has any right to be so rude to Jack. He acts as if the whole world should bend to his whims. Well I speak for me and Jack when I say that we do not bend especially for self-absorbed pricks.

Also now that Jack sat with me at lunch and we're seen together on more than one occasion throughout the day it seems to help feed the rumors. I've now taken on the role of stupid bimbo that cheats on the poor little Darcy with his ex-best friend and breaks his heart.

_Please_ like Darcy even has a heart. He's the tin man in every way shape and form.


	3. Octoberfest

_A/N: So Lizzy's back. I know I canged alot of names for characters but I threw a little parody in there that might explain some of it. None of the characters are completely like they are in the book so it felt wrong to keep the names. _

_Right well... have fun with it... sorry it's a bit shorter than I'd hoped. I'm starting to get to the fun part. Yey._

_**Make him go away…**_

_Friday, October 2; 5:16 p.m._

Good news and bad new. Good news is that I'm no longer on my damn crutches and my stupid ankle feels so much better.

Now bad news: Jack is always there. I really do enjoy his company but between him, now sitting by me in Humanities and French, and him coming over to my house almost everyday this week; I've honestly been going to the gym just to escape him for an hour. I mean I prefer working out to hanging out with him. Wrong? I also think so.

I miss Erin too. She must feel so horrible lately. I haven't been able to escape the social leech long enough to honestly talk to her about Eddie the Idiot. I think even she's pretty upset about Jack always being around even though she always used to push me to be more sociable. I don't know but she always just looks over at me during Humanities and just gives me this pathetic face but I when I ask, "What's the matter?" she just shakes her head and Jack will say something like, "There's nothing wrong with me baby. What's wrong with you?" and then he turns back around before I can scowl and tell him I wasn't talking to him.

Grrr. He calls me baby.

That's almost as bad as Trevor calling me sweetums.

Speaking of which the doorbell rang last night and Bridget ran to beat me to it so she could greet Jack first and swoon all over him but she seemed pretty put out when it was Trevor instead.

He was pretty rude to her and asked to speak with her "luscious older sister". Bridget scowled and tricked me into coming to the door. The stupid little twerp gave me hideous flowers, invited himself inside, and told me at least three times that I'm the girl he's going to marry.

"I hear you're dating that Jack-fella," he said smirking and at this point I still hadn't said a single word to him, "well you really needn't bother trying to make me jealous. I already desire you." Yes he honestly used the word desire.

"Trevor that is most definitely-"he interrupted me, which I absolutely loathe when anyone does yet alone people I don't want to talk to at all.

"Shh. Shh, sweetums. You really needn't bother to try and throw me off; even Bridget won't deny our instant, mutual attraction. She assures me of your feelings. Not that I'm not capable of discovering them on my own," he tried to smile saucily but instead looked like a doped-up idiot so I was forced to stop him before he assured himself that I already considered us to be engaged.

"Trevor. You annoying little prick," I shot back as coldly as I could muster, teeth clenched and all. "Let me assure you: I do not, will not, and have never even looked at you as more than an annoying little pest that I would like to get rid of as soon as possible."

"Oh Lizzy," he said still smiling arrogantly but I could tell it began to seem forced.

"No, Trevor," I growled. "Leave. Now." I opened up the door and practically shoved him through it.

After viciously slamming the door in his face, as he tried to make one final protest, I stomped off to Bridget's room as angrily as possible.

"Bridget, you stupid whore, what the hell have you been telling your stupid friend about my 'feelings'?"

She sat up on her bed quickly. "What are you doing in my room? Get out. You're not allowed in here!" She made her voice go shrill as if I was the one who had done something wrong.

"Don't give me that shit. Next time you tell anyone that I have feelings, other than pure contempt, for them I will rip out what little is left of your cold black heart and feed it to mom for breakfast."

She looked at me for a second and I noticed her biting her lip to keep it from trebling. "But mom doesn't ever eat breakfast."

The image of her sitting there in her condition as she said this, for once sounding so vulnerable, just made me laugh out loud even with how upset I was. It wasn't long until I was flopping onto her bed as we both laughed our heads off. "I suppose I could liquefy it and feed it to her as a protein shake," I muttered in between peels of laughter.

Bridget had her head hanging off the side of the bed so all I could see was her neck. She giggled. "As long as it contains less than a hundred calories." She giggled again.

"Oh I'm sure it will. You have a very small heart Bridge. Some might compare you to the Grinch." She laughed and I laughed at her because she flipped off the bed and landed on her head.

"The world is so much more fun upside down."

"Yes. Maybe it was originally planned to be upside down but they accidentally built it wrong, and that's why every thing sucks so bad. I firmly believe that we should spend the rest of our lives on our heads," I said giggling as she tried to set herself back up on the bed as she was.

After she fell again and I laughed at her expense for another five minutes she sat up and looked at me. "Lizzy why don't you like Jack?" she asked bluntly.

I shrugged. "I like Jack just fine."

"Then how come you always seemed so put out? Like you'd rather be with someone else."

"I don't seem like that," I muttered scrunching my eyebrows together.

"Lizzy I've seen you with guys you like and you just aren't like that with Jack. You're distracted."

I held my confused eyebrow scrunch. "Well he's just always around. I want to hang out with Erin and play with Damien. I don't know I guess it just seems like Jack wants more than to just be friends and he'll push it until he's convinced he has it."

"So you're not dating then?"

I shot her a funny look at her brightened tone. "No. Not to my knowledge at least."

She smiled. "Okay then. You can leave now."

I scowled and made sure to mess up her perfectly straight hair as I walked out the door.

After I left I called Jack and told him I'd be needing the next few days with Erin and that I'd see him tomorrow and then not again until Monday. He sounded disgruntled but I didn't leave room for argument.

I then called Erin and told her she is being forced to spend today and the rest of the weekend with me.

She didn't sound like that was much of a chore.

_**Girls' night in…**_

_Saturday, October 3; 11:17 p.m._

So last night me and Erin rented the eight hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice and spent the entire night drooling over Colin Firth and guys with cute English accents.

"English accents are so adorable," she swooned.

"Shirtless males are so adorable," I sighed right back.

"Shirtless males? Shall we go to the beach tomorrow?" she asked smiling.

"We shall," I replied nodding. About five minutes later I picked back up our conversation about accents. "You see the problem with the English accent is that it is usually accompanied by a fairly unattractive male."

"Not all English men are ugly," she protested.

"Yes but majority are. One can't uphold the attractiveness rating of an entire country on a select few. I think I'd much prefer a southern gentleman, like in _Hope Floats_ or something."

She sighed and shoved a spoon into her pint of ice cream. "I think it's just a myth."

"What is?"

"The whole 'southern gentleman' crap. I mean we've lived in the south our entire lives and I've never met one. Rednecks, sure. But definitely not gentlemen. Even if I thought I had."

I was sensing a serious Eddie reference. "E we don't live in the south. I mean technically Florida is south of New York and such but I mean, were we ever even a part of the whole southern hospitality thing? I've never baked an apple pie or even seen a neighborhood 4th of July picnic. I'd say we just missed. We got stuck with the rejected rednecks and none of the perks."

"Liz I never understood how you can look at things so logically. You have that whole 'the glass is half empty, then that means someone drank my water' thing going on. Aren't you ever totally irrational?"

I looked at her with my usual eyebrow scrunch. "Ok first off I haven't said that glass thing since eighth grade, and when have I ever been rational or logical? Sure I can analyze things just fine but I get emotionally attached just like you."

She snorted. "No Lizzy you make sure that emotions, especially yours, aren't involved as much as possible. You may be quick to close the door on someone but that doesn't make you emotional, that makes you stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn. I change my mind about things all the time," I replied mock indignant.

"I'm not talking about ice cream flavors here Lizzy. I'm talking about people. I mean you stopped talking to Charlotte after she stole one of your pencils."

"That was third grade. I changed my mind about you, didn't I?"

"You hated me and only stopped because you had just stopped talking to Charlotte and needed a new friend," she replied smiling at our old feud over who had better pig-tails in grade school.

It was a light-hearted debate between us. "You seemed pretty grateful at the time."

She laughed. "The wrath of Lizzy will make anyone concede."

I scowled. "You know not everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes, I know this might seem shocking for kind hearted Erin, but sometimes bad people truly are just bad people. As simple as that. Why get hurt twice?"

"Oh Elizabeth," she smiled shaking her head.

"You haven't called me Elizabeth in forever."

"I'm not calling you by your name I'm making a comparison," she said pointedly.

"Elizabeth?"

"Miss. Bennett you sure do catch on slow."

"Elizabeth Bennett? If I'm Elizabeth does that make you Jane?"

"I'm not your sister Lizzy."

"Well Bridget is definitely no Jane," we both laughed at the idea of Bridget ever being considered a kind-hearted person.

"Hey Lizzy did you ever think it was weird? You know the whole Darcy-_Darcy_ thing?" she asked suddenly serious. "I mean it's not exactly a common last name. And you are a Lizzy. And you do hate him."

"What are you getting at?"

"It's just you're a lot like her and he's a lot like him…"

I laughed. "Will Darcy is nothing like him. Mr. Darcy is a gentleman not an arrogant ass hole."

"No, not a gentleman at first. Remember? Some might say an arrogant, a.k.a. _proud_, person. Sound familiar?"

"I get where you're going with this Erin but life isn't like a book. Especially a book written about 200 years ago. Books and dreams are called fictional for a reason. True life just isn't like that."

"I'm just pointing out the similarities. Interpret them how you wish." She smiled and went back to the kitchen to put away her ice cream.

Eventually I fell asleep by the time Elizabeth ran into Mr. Darcy at Pemberly in the movie and had this horrible dream that real Darcy and fictional Darcy (a.k.a. super hot Colin Firth) were chasing me around with wedding rings and Erin, Bridget, and my mom were telling me to be sensible and just marry them because no one wants to die a virgin.

Eventually I awoke the next morning to Erin's snoring. Without much compassion (she's a really annoying snorer) I woke her up and dragged her to the beach where she quickly fell right back to sleep. It's amazing that that girl feels no qualms about snoring in public. I wonder if she even realizes she does it.

She'd woken up by the time we headed home around three and we sang old Brittney Spears songs at the top of our lungs to strangers at stoplights, including, coincidently, my uncle.

Somehow Erin managed to talk me into going with her to some stupid party at Ty Willington's house and I was honestly held to the bed while she forced nice clothes on me. She refused the layered tanks claiming I hide behind my layers way too much and made a horrible Shrek/Onion simile that made me laugh as she shoved a way too small push-up bra into my hands.

She dressed me like a total slut, with major cleavage and far too much leg showing, and the whole night I played the part of the blonde bimbo I always refused to be. I danced closer than I'd ever danced before (and I mean close) and drank more than I ever had and even made out with the host Ty himself. Although in retrospect I understand that this won't help my rumor mill and I'll become a whore for cheating on both of my respective 'boyfriends' but what the hell. I had fun (Ty was nice) and since when did I ever give a damn what other people thought? Lizzy's happiness comes first and tonight Lizzy is happy.

Although I have a very strong suspicion that I will not feel quite so good in the morning.

_**...Ow...**_

_Sunday, October 4; Way too freaking early._

I am such a freaking idiot.

I need Tylenol.

Ow.

How did I even get home?

_**The benefits of bullshit…**_

_Tuesday, October 6; Lalala who freaking cares!_

Can you believe it that for once, the fact that people can't shut their huge freaking mouths managed to accomplish the two major things I most desired.

Jack, although now even more flirtatious, hasn't been to my house in the past five whole days. Yey, he's no longer breathing down my neck but I have noticed him breathing down Janie Masterson's. I'd feel bad but I think she seems to really enjoy it. So now we just have one of those overly friendly friendship kind of a deal worked out.

The second thing is that no one seemed to hear, or if they did they didn't care, about the fact that Trevor the annoying sophomore seems to be completely broken hearted over the whole debacle on Thursday. I really may be a horrible person with other people's feelings but I did nothing on my part to promote his feelings so I really can't be blamed for his and Bridget's stupidity.

Also Erin and I giggle every time we hear the names Ty Willington or Jake Carter (her night companion) who we both have decided make excellent flings and they seem to feel the same about us. It truly is a great relationship, the relationship of a fling. A great mutual, no strings attached type of thing.

Jo and I started our Zen level thingy for I.D. (interpretive dance is much too long a phrase hence the abbreviation) which is supposed to mean that we have reached a whole new level of relaxation and the teacher has applauded us as her favorite pupils. I know, who'd have thought that I'd ever reach a state of extreme relaxation. She says I'd be a natural at Yoga, so Jo and I decided to make arrangements to go to this cool Yoga loft place this weekend. It shall be fun.

Finally all that gym time from last week is starting to catch up with me so I feel sore but altogether rather thin. So despite not caring what others think I must admit I'm brimming with confidence at the moment. So I have also taken it upon myself to sign up for three classes this week and kick some serious gym ass.

Forget what I said in middle school. The glass is half full.

_**Fucking gym…**_

_Thursday, October 8; 7:15 p.m._

God I hate the freaking gym. There I am in my first ever weight lifting class when none other than the Great Ass-hole Will Darcy walks in with all his damn weights and all that bullshit.

God it was so hot in there and I was dying with my measly five pound weights and he just happened to be so freaking good at the class and there were hardly any people in there.

Oh god I'm in panic mode. Must calm down. Grrr. Zen mode.

Ok so the whole class he's just staring at me while we worked out and I refused to show even the slightest indication of fatigue but I was sweating like a pig and I felt so gross in my big t-shirt and an old pair of spandex. Just the way he kept looking at me made me feel so inadequate and that's what I hate about him.

I was so relieved when the class was over that I practically sprinted out and promptly hopped on a bike for some much needed cardio when he comes up and stands by my bike.

"Hey Lizzy."

"Er. Hi," I muttered trying to brush him off.

He stood there quiet for a second as if I should drop to my knees and bow to him.

"So… what's up?" I asked awkwardly deciding that if he wasn't going to leave I'd rather talk than him just stare at me.

He shrugged. "I'm fine." I looked at him funny because that was definitely not the type of answer one gives for that question which just confirmed that he wasn't even listening to me.

"Right…"

"So was that your first time in that class?" he asked.

I did my customary eyebrow scrunch and nodded, "Yes".

"Oh I could tell."

My eyes bulged a little. "Excuse me?"

He shifted nervously for a second. "Well I haven't seen you there before is all I meant. I always go to that class. I would have seen you before. That's all I meant."

"Okaaaay," I replied drawing out my syllables and then realized I'd stopped pedaling and quickly picked it back up again. "That's nice." I made a mental note to never go back to that class.

"Oh right. I'm going to go then…" he drifted off wiping some sweat off his face and I kind of blushed at the thought that he was cute even while sweaty. Maybe even more so.

"Bye."

He looked at me for another second which only prompted me to up the resistance on my bike and push a little faster. He kind of half smiled and left.

God just when you think you've found a sanctuary. A place you can go and only find overly buff male insecurities and annoyingly tiny women. Grrr. One should never see someone they hate at the gym, their moment of pureness and vulnerability.

Especially not someone they loathe.

**_Of Yoga and Pedicures…_**

_Saturday, October 10; 8:20 p.m._

So I picked up Jo this morning at her ginormous mansion. I mean honestly it's huge. Just for her and her brother. And probably their personal maids. I mean, god, they have a freaking movie theatre in there.

Freaks.

Anyway we went to the Yoga Loft place and it was fun. Some of the positions are so uncomfortable and take like five minutes just to twist yourself into, but it was a pretty decent workout so we made plans to go next week and hopefully continue to do so for quite awhile. It is our new weekly tradition.

So here's where it got a little weird. Afterward we decided on a total whim to get our nails done because I confessed to her that I'd never done it before.

It was weird. She insisted on paying. I told her that $20 was a ridiculous amount to spend on a completely superficial ritual that we could very well do ourselves.

She just laughed and paid anyway.

"Lizzy you don't always have to be so independent you know. For every now and then you can let someone pick up the slack for you."

I felt a little embarrassed about being told I was too independent by a freshman. "I don't. There are tons of things I let people do for me."

She sighed and smiled. "Like allowing people to carry you over their shoulders out of dances?"

I paled considerably. "You heard about that?"

"Everyone and their mothers heard about that. Oh and the whole Ty thing. Ty Willington? I mean he gets around Lizzy."

I then went straight from being paler than I ever had been to being pinker than I ever had been. I honestly think I set personal records in both.

"Can we not talk about it?" I asked for the first time truly regretting what I'd done last weekend.

"Of course. Whatever you want." She sighed again and looked at me for a second almost as if she was calculating every aspect of me.

We let the topic lay but the entire ride home all I wanted to do was just ask what the look was about. Does she think I'm a whore now? Have I done something horrible to her that caused her to evaluate what she had thought about me? I was in full panic mode by the time I pulled up to her house but she just smiled at me.

"Don't worry Lizzy you've done nothing wrong. Everyone does crazy things sometimes. God knows I have."

As she left despite the fact that I care not what any person thinks of me I was relieved that she wasn't judging me on it.

I've decided to avoid the whole party scene for a while though. Just to cool down is all.

So tonight I have instead decided to be a good girl and take Damien to a movie instead.

Unfortunately he has his heart on seeing the latest chick-flick and I can't bring myself to tell him no.

I know what people say, but despite that I truly am just a big old softy.

**_Coincidence? I think not..._**

_Friday, October 16; Early but I still plan on going to bed very soon._

Tired. Have been to the gym four times this week and you want to know the worst thing about it? Every freaking time I've gone I've seen Darcy.

Every fucking time.

It's almost as if he just hangs around there all day long waiting to ruin my life. Or maybe he has no life himself and the only place he feels accepted is with the stupid personal trainers.

It really bites though because he looks at me with this condescending face that makes me push so hard and do all these crazy workouts that keep making me so sore.

Yesterday I'd just spent half an hour on the damn treadmill, which is twice as long as I normally do it for, and my bad ankle was killing me so I was sitting on this bench by the water fountains rubbing it and rolling it around.

Of course Darcy comes up and drinks at the water fountain for about ten minutes. When he stopped he looked at me as he walked by and even turned back to me once he'd passed. He's really not one for subtlety, that's for sure.

I just wish he'd go back to his five year streak of pretending I didn't exist that he'd maintained so well. It would honestly make it so much easier for me.

Life can never be easy though, can it?

_**The game of Life…**_

_Sunday, October 18; noon-ish_

So everyone (a.k.a. Jack, Erin, Damien, and Janie as Jack's plus one) came over last night to play Life and we got into this huge debacle over the fact that in my game I refused to get married and have children and refused to give in to Erin's pressure.

"The games just not fun if you don't have kids, Lizzy," she said eyeing me as she shoved her second pair of twins into her perfectly pink car, right behind her little blue husband.

"No the game's not fun for _you_ if _you_ don't have kids. I don't see where I fit into the equation at all," I pointed out.

"But Lizzy they're just little pegs. Who would it really hurt to have them?" Janie asked smiling as she moved her two cars full of little pegs six spaces down the board.

"It hurts no one but it'd be like giving into the game and the pressures of life. I'm just making a statement that life doesn't have to consist of mini-vans full of children," I replied shrugging.

"I happen to like the pegs," Jack said picking up each of his three sons from the car and holding them up. "I named this one Jack jr., this one is Jack the third, and this one is Cindy because I think he'll be the girly son."

We all laughed except Damien who grabbed the peg called Cindy and muttered, "He's probably my son then." And we all laughed a little bit harder.

"I don't know, I might agree with Lizzy on this one," Damien said handing Jack back the Cindy-peg and giving me a smile. "I think that sometimes the world sees things a bit too structured for my liking. Why can't people just let us live our lives without worrying about the image we project to our neighbors. Sometimes the system is just too black and white."

"I don't think it is," Erin replied cheerily shoving yet another child into her car and buying her third house all in one spin, "I think with everyone trying so hard to 'break the mold' there's been this kind of backlash against living that whole 'House and Gardens' lifestyle. What's so wrong with pearl necklaces and mini-vans? When did wanting to get married and become a mom make me a sell out?"

I smiled at her because she honestly seemed upset. "It doesn't make you a sell out E. It makes you, you. But for a person like me that lifestyle just doesn't fit. Never in my life did I picture myself in it, and if I ever did find myself in it I just can't stop the feeling that I'd feel trapped. For you though, it's perfectly acceptable."

Erin studied me for a second but Damien spoke first. "Do you say that because that's how your mother feels or because that's how you really think it works? So Lizzy all it comes down to is: do you avoid that lifestyle because you're scared or because you just don't think it'll ever happen to you?"

I scowled at him. "I avoid it, because I don't want it. I want romantic weekends in Rome and the ability to move cities with no reserves. I just want the ability to be spontaneous without a million pounds of baggage."

"I can respect that," Jack muttered, "No man wants to be tied down. I guess Lizzy would also fit into that category."

"Oh thanks Jack. Real sweet. Just group me into the sex consisting of people like cheating husbands, and horn dogs," I replied hitting him on the arm and smiling.

"Lizzy, don't scorn," Erin replied with a serious demeanor and her nose poking slightly into the air, "and don't generalize."

"Yes," Jack poked in again to lighten the mood, "not all men are Will Darcy."

Excellent Jack. Excellent.

**_The 411…_**

_Thursday, October 22; 5:55p.m. (Make a wish)_

Have completely run down my bank account and have been forced into getting a job at Starbucks by my mom who knows not of my dad sending me $100 in gas money every month and still refuses to contribute to my Target shop-a-holic tendencies.

So I applied Monday to work at Starbucks due to my irresistible coffee addiction and the fact that they pay over eight dollars an hour.

I must admit I did pretty well in my very casual interview with some bubble gum popping college chick and am very proud to say I was hired the next day.

Besides the fact that I am now a working girl and start my training tomorrow afternoon (had to cancel with Jo. So much for the whole weekly tradition thing) it was a pretty boring week except that Jack seems to have moved past Janie and onto some new girl named Carol or something and Janie has called me once and come up to me in the hallways to talk about what happened.

She thinks we're kindred spirits and that Jack did the same thing to me and I'm too scared to see if she'd cry if I told her that I had the opposite problem with him.

I do actually feel bad for her because her confidence is pretty low so I invited her to a spinning class (the only class I'm safe from Darcy because he's too insecure to join a "chick class") and I now have a gym buddy besides the awkward relations between me and Darcy that take place there.

For more gossip Trevor has set his sights on Charlotte, whom I was friends with way back in the day and despite her semi-plainness is still way out of his league, and for some very, very strange reason she seems flattered by his advances and they're going on a date tomorrow night or at least that what Erin tells me.

Now for something I consider to be very, very funny. Jackilyn was caught making-out with Jeff Bridges, a.k.a. spotted Jeff. He's got more acne than he does skin which means that some are honestly on top of each other. Not only is that extremely disgusting but since they were caught by the dean on school grounds she's suspended for two days. Hah. Karma I tell you, Karma.

But to be honest I do feel kind of bad for Eddie. I'd never tell Erin this but I honestly pity the kid. I ran into him today after humanities and he just looked so lonely. I wonder if he's starting to realize how much he misses Erin or if he's just upset that his good family name too the blow of his sister's disgustingness. Knowing him and Darcy it's probably the latter.

Jack and I have started this game to play in humanities where we talk pretty loudly so that Darcy can hear us and see which one of us can get him to look up from his desk, which he's constantly staring at, the most. So far I'm winning after a very awkward monologue about condoms that even made his ears turn pink and Erin turn around and pop her eyes out at me.

Jack and I laughed for hours afterwards.

Good stuff.

_**Manual labor…**_

_Saturday, October 24; waaay toooo freaking late._

Am mentally and physically exhausted.

Annoying Janie is obsessed now with spinning drags me out of bed this morning for the 8:00 a.m. spinning class after which I am forced to shower at the place and head straight to my first day of training at which I was spoken to as if I was an incompetent four year old that can't even spell my own name.

Must people be so bitchy all the tame? It's bad enough that we have to take your orders. You don't have t be rude about it all. Grrr.

I need sleep and Advil. And maybe even a full box of Midol. Grrr.

Oh and a bag of Starbursts!

_**Homemade costumes**_

_Sunday, October 25; Like 7-something_

Bridget, Erin, Janie, and I went for some serious Halloween shopping today. Which, in case you didn't know, is pretty hard core. I'm talking like S&M and all that crap. Bridge almost got beat up by this crazy soccer mom over this hideous wig of dreadlocks that Bridget was just playing around with.

Do to the violence I have decided two things. First I shall become a pacifist and second that I no longer support store bought costumes and shall hereby make my own and also not allow anyone I know to obtain one, besides Erin, Janie, and Bridget because they all bought theirs today.

Since I still don't have a paycheck in my hand this is also a much more economical solution to my serious problems, because today we stopped at Target and I bought another pair of these super comfortable pajama shorts. I mean I needed them because I wear the everywhere, the beach and the gym and my house. See that's everywhere.

Anyway I'm thinking about going to the costume-dancey thingy at our school as either a ladybug or a ballerina.

I really think I should have taken more dance lessons because I really would have made an awesome ballerina. I'm quite graceful despite anything that Erin, my mother, Bridget, or most people tell you.

I truly am despite the ankle spraining incident at homecoming last month. I am as graceful as a swan.

Just so long as I remember not to wear heels to the damn dance.

_**The horrors of Halloween…**_

_Saturday, October 31 (H-day itself); pa-cha! Like I freaking know .A watch doesn't fit in with my costume._

So, so, so. I went to target on Monday and found these awesome ballet slippers that I considered to be fate and had to buy for my costume, and totally fell in love with. So I gave into the Halloween jubilation and bought them despite being more than I should spend and planned on stopping at the craft store on the way home for more costume supplies only to discover once I got there that crafts are much too expensive for my taste.

So I then decided to be a "Figment of Your Imagination" (or at least that's what I called my masterpiece) which consists of every hair thing I own shoved in every spot in my hair that a hair object might stay, lots of glitter all over my face, a very pink pair of tights with a very tiny mini skirt, every colorful shirt I own just layered galore, and one very cute pair of ballet slippers. No heels.

I must admit it was fun and everyone laughed when they saw me and even Mom decided I was worth snapping a couple of pictures of. Halloween is great. A wonderful time of the year when one can give into sugar cravings, compassion towards adorable, but ultimately evil, little kids through candy, and the ability to dress like an idiot and still be considered awesome.

Major disappointment of the night is that Jack never showed up despite promising to me that he would. I think he was either avoiding mass social gatherings, which I honestly don't blame him for, or Janie who has finally regained some confidence. If it is the latter I'll be very upset because she's been so cool about the whole Carol thing and I think I could honestly be pretty good friends. He'd be a pretty huge jerk if he was just avoiding her.

I must admit I'd be upset.

Anyway the whole dance was pretty customary since it was just this weird school thing, which is just the schools way of keeping us off the streets so we don't resort to vandalism as our major form of entertainment. I went with Erin and Janie and Damien and we had fun each taking our turn with Dames and even Ty sought me out for a dance for "old time's sake". Although disappointingly we didn't kiss this time.

It was fun and I danced much better without the heels this time.

The fairly depressing part is that Eddie came up to me at one point just as a slow song was coming on and asked me to dance but I could tell his intentions lay else where.

"I think your costume's funny," he muttered as we kept about as far apart as possible.

"Thanks. " I shrugged. "I just kind of threw it together last minute."

"That's what's cool about you Lizzy. You have a sense of humor. And you don't pressure people into things they don't want to do. And you respect your friend's wishes even if you don't agree with them."

I gave him a pointed look as he rambled. "Who's pressuring you Eddie? You know you really shouldn't feel obligated by any one. 'Do what makes you happy,' I always say."

He smiled pathetically. "Does Erin hate me?"

I couldn't bring myself to say yes. "Erin doesn't hate anyone. She's too nice. But I won't lie and say that you didn't hurt her."

He sighed and dropped his shoulders. "That's what I thought. Could you just tell her that I really never meant to. That I honestly did- do like her and I wasn't just playing her."

I smiled despite the sad circumstances. "I'm not the one who should be telling her those things. You are, but if you really can't then I have no problem helping you out."

He smiled back and for once it didn't look quite so pathetic, then his eyes popped at something over my shoulder. "Shit! I got to go Lizzy. Thanks though." He squeezed my hand and practically sprinted into a crowd of nearby people.

I turned around to see what had freaked out him so bad but all I saw was a group of Jocks, Will Darcy among them staring right at me.

What does one do when they find people openly gawking at them? Well I don't know what most do but I walked over to them. "So are you legally blind or do you guys just have staring problems?" Most of them averted their eyes, two laughed, and Will Darcy tightened his lips.

"You know Will, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you _do_ have a serious staring problem," I shot at him coldly but he still didn't turn away. "Oh and I also think this," I growled and stomped on his foot as hard as I could possible manage, actually wishing I'd done so that night when I was wearing heels. "Have a nice day," I added with a sickly sweet smile before I stomped off into the crowd in the general direction of where I thought Erin might be.

That display alone I think qualifies this night as a successful one.

That and the fact that I love scary movies. They make me laugh.

So does Damien so the rest of my night was perfect with a sweet movie marathon until… well until now.

Halloween… you're a-okay with me!

_A/N: Chah cha! Review?_


	4. When November Stands on its Head

_A/N:_

_So um again hey!_

_Its been a looong time... school started again. :(_

_This ones shorter than I'd hoped and maybe rather confusing but I really wanted to get it out. Hmm well it could be awhile so... enjoy!_

_**Aftermath…**_

_Sunday November 1; sometime…_

Can you honestly believe me? I honestly don't believe some of the things I do.

I went to the gym today and surprise, surprise there's freaking Darcy, but here's where it gets interesting, he limping.

I and my vicious toe stomping abilities have rendered Will Darcy weak!

I may be an irrational freak that does stupid things sometimes but this time it was deserved, for I have come to the inescapable (and as I fear deadly accurate) conclusion that Darcy is the true reason for Eddie breaking up with Erin. Darcy, not Eddie, is the cause of all my best friend's pain. It makes so much sense. Eddie moves seats not to avoid Erin but Darcy. Eddie acts sullen at dance and runs upon sight of Darcy. Darcy spends more time at gym due to lack of best friend Eddie. Eddie looks downcast 24/7 due to lack of girlfriend Erin. Eddie still likes Erin and is only not with her for fear of Darcy?

Just one missing link: motive. Why would Darcy want to break them up? I mean sure the idea crossed my mind but I could never come between a best friend and her happiness. So is Darcy even more of an ass hole, and a greedy one at that, than even I pegged him for? For once was I correct in my first assessment?

He's a horrible person… but well… I just never thought of him as that close with Eddie to dictate his life. There's something fishy afoot.

Anyway I'm too scared to tell Erin of my assumptions and even of my explicit violence, but apparently she knows already. The gossip of Darcy being put in his place by a chick has circulated rather quickly. Most people think it's because he kissed someone else while we were "dating".

Is it weird that I've become such a gossip target in the last three months?

_**Ultimate Frisbee/Ultimate Question…**_

_Thursday, November 5; 11:50… ish._

I've been doing homework for the past 2 hours because I spent the entire afternoon playing ultimate Frisbee with pretty much the entire junior class. Erin and I showed up at like five to meet Janie and Damien there.

We weren't planning on playing but when I got there it looked like fun so Damien convinced me into it and this cool guy named Fitz spent like 10 minutes teaching me how to play. If I could throw better I would have done rather well. Fitz was way cool though and kept trying to show me the correct form for optimum Frisbee tossing but he was rather attractive so I got distracted. He said I was the best girl out there though, so that made me feel good.

Eddie was there and asked me if I'd talked to Erin and I told him about the conversation me and E had on Monday about whether or not Eddie was a jerk. She seemed rather floored when I agreed with the fact that he had a logical explanation and thought I'd been brainwashed. I suppose I don't normally change to other people's opinions very much.

Damien and I started a pretty elitist Frisbee club (not a literal club) and have designated ourselves the worst on the team and the most easily distracted by shirtless males. He had to point out to me the fact that Darcy had taken his shirt off and had a rather nice chest, which isn't surprising based on his gym hours. I got stuck marking Darcy so this particular shirtless visualization was rather distracting and I honestly had to remind myself of how horrible he is. I must say though I did really school him a couple times and he seemed kind of shocked by my radical skills.

I was beat by the end of it all. We honestly played for four hours and I ran past Darcy after we finally called it quits and jumped on Damien's back telling him if he didn't carry me I'd hate him forever. Of course he did and even made baying sounds like a horse.

I liked it all, but I didn't like the rather large stack of Calc homework I had to face once I got home. Senior year I'm taking no AP classes.

_**Freaky Friday…**_

_Friday, November 6; later… as in past 11._

My el Madre is so odd. She made me stay home tonight to meet some weird guy she'd met on that was a total loser with a receding hairline and absolutely no sense of humor.

Is this what my mother has been reduced to?

He's absolutely pathetic and I wonder if she's just that desperate or if he's a bit different in private settings.

Why is my mother so set on having a guy around? Obviously she didn't like it the first time around or else she'd have stayed with daddy so why is she so hard pressed on dating someone even if it means a circus freak? When did my mom become dependant on males?

The worst part of it all is Bridget. She's just like mom. Boys seem to be the center of her universe and I don't understand how she can purposely fail a class just so she could ask the guy behind her in English for private tutoring, and to bring home guys like Trevor. When did one have to start seriously dating at such an early age?

Anyway the whole ordeal would have been completely unbearable if it hadn't been for my last minute invite to Jack, prompted by Bridget, to rescue me from the clutches of boring conversation. He's so funny sometimes that I don't even understand how he's human.

Speaking of Jack he's now onto another girl named Ella something, who's such a slut that last year everyone thought she was pregnant, and they are officially a couple. Great choice there Jack.

I also don't get that. Why do guys like those girls? Is it purely sexual? Do they just want to get some, because it's obviously not for the stimulating conversation?

Maybe it's time I turn the world upside down voluntarily rather than without me realizing.

_**My nose is running… help me catch it?**_

_Monday, November 9; my eyes are too crusted over to see a clock._

I'm sick. Overly sick. Sick to the point where I don't believe I'll ever feel healthy again. I want to sleep and blow my nose in public and not worry about getting snot on my sleeve.

I'm sick and I want Campbell's soup and Disney movies.

I'm sick and I'm still at school. (With any luck maybe I'll get Jack and his slutty girlfriend sick.)

I'm sick and none of my teachers have a box of tissues.

I'm sick and my sleeve is gross and I have a pocketful of paper towels I stole from the bathroom.

I'm sick and I have to breathe heavy just to get any semblance of air in my lungs.

I'm sick and I want my mommy who's too busy with her loser boyfriend to even notice I'm sick.

I'm sick and tired.

_**Got an Issue… Here's a Tissue…**_

_Wednesday, November 11; 12:34 – I can see again… and breathe!_

I'm feeling better but my nose has progressed from being stopped up to just dripping like a leaky faucet. It's rather disgusting.

Want to hear the best part? I got Darcy sick.

It's rather funny to see him pull out a pocket pack of tissues and try to subtly wipe his nose in a "cool" way. He's such a freak.

Just before lunch (which is where I am at the moment) my nose dripping reached a serious peak and as I'd mentioned before my teacher seems to think that tissues would be much too covenant and she wouldn't let me go get a paper towel, so there I am sulking when I hear probably the cutest stopped-up voice in the world say, "You can borrow one of mine."

I must admit I was slightly downcast when I noticed the owner of the voice and tissue was Darcy, but beggars can't be choosers so I took the tissue and replied jokingly, "Thanks but are you sure you want it back?"

He looked a bit shocked seeing as I hadn't talked to him since Halloween but then he just kind of smiled and handed me the tissue then tried to breathe through his nose which caused that horrible phlegmy noise.

I laughed at him and quickly wiped my nose and stupid Erin turns to me and gives me this insinuating smile, which just caused me to scowl and now I'm sitting here at lunch ignoring her while she keeps saying stupid comments like "You have to admit he's cute!" and "There's always been a spark between you!" While I snort derisively every few seconds.

Pfft.

Whatever Erin, you may live in a fantasy land but I however do not!

_**There's a Hurricane outside my window…**_

_Thursday, November 12; sometime at night…_

It's raining… a lot.

Normally I quite enjoy rain but I was feeling better today, despite the fact that the lady at Walgreen's wouldn't let me buy any Nyquil because I'm not 18, and I really wanted to play ultimate Frisbee again this week. Due to the fact that the Frisbee Game of Death was canceled Damien called begging me to go to the "alternate activity" thing at the pool hall, because he knows I rock at pool and I also I think because he has a crush on that Fitz kid even though Fitz has a very pretty girlfriend. I must also admit that at the mention of Fitz I was a little bit more excited to go also. I'm not saying I'd even consider a guy with a girlfriend but there's something really… familiar and striking about Fitz. Basically he's very much my type if I had a type… oh it makes sense to me.

Oh right pool, billiards, whatever. Have I mentioned how awesome I am?

Last week Fitz and Damien taught me how to play ultimate Frisbee, this week I taught them pool. Of course not to the point where they're better than me but still, they're definitely better than they were.

Of course Darcy was there and apparently he's pretty good so Fitz wanted him on his team so he could stand a chance against me and Damien. About halfway through the game Fitz still hadn't sunk a ball so he threw down his cue and once he'd quit Damien had no motivation to play anymore so of course it ends up with me against just Darcy.

Of course he's good at it too because heaven forbid that Darcy suck at anything, besides being a friend and general human being.

So I'd just sunk my last ball before the eight ball and Darcy and I haven't said a single word to each other throughout the entire game. I just keep scowling and he's got this annoying half smile on his face that actually would be cute if it were on anyone but him.

"Eight ball side pocket," I say softly gesturing with my cue to the referred pocket. That's when Darcy does the least expected, he stares at me and says completely out of the blue, "You know what Lizzy, you're kind of pretty."

How does one concentrate on their game winning shot when someone has just said that to them? He'd said it all mystified and confused with the stupid smile still playing on his face and I have to admit that if it were a psych-out attempt it worked, because when I went to take my final shot I couldn't think about anything else, so it came as no surprise when I scratched on my eight ball.

"No fair you cheated!" I shouted as soon as I stood back up from my shot. "You can't use psych-out methods during a game that's cheating!"

He just scowled. "It's not my fault you missed your shot."

"Yes it is. You can't say that kind of thing to purposefully cause someone to miss their shot! You were being mean!"

"As I recall what I said wasn't mean in the slightest," his smile came back as he said this and I've seen him look cocky before but never quite like that.

"It is mean in your motivation for saying it!" I replied indignantly. By now I was shouting so Fitz and Damien decided they wanted to step in.

"What's a matter Liz?" Fitz asked giving Darcy a weird face that I know was asking him silent questions I knew nothing about.

"Darcy cheated," I replied simply.

"Did not," Darcy sang back.

"What'd he do?" Damien asked.

"He told me I was pretty right before my big shot, and caused me to miss."

Fitz just seemed to stare between Darcy and me. "Liz sweetheart please explain how Darcy giving you a compliment makes him a cheater," he said after a long pause and looking at me like I was an idiot.

"It's cheating because he doesn't really think I'm pretty he just wanted to break my concentration!" I grumbled.

"Who's to say I don't think you're pretty?" Darcy asked with his stupid smile.

I scowled harder than I'd ever scowled before. "You and I both know why I know you don't think I'm pretty, you practically told me at that stupid party months ago" I growled then got louder, "You're a cheater! No wonder you have no friends, you probably cheat with them too. You're the most ridiculously infuriating person I've ever met and I hate you more than I've hated anyone in my entire life!"

That's all I said before I stomped out of the pool hall and jumped in my car leaving behind the egotistical males and Damien, and deciding to never even concern myself with them again.

So yes it's raining outside but as of now it's perfect because I feel horrible inside, because when push comes to shove I let him get to me, I let him take away the one thing I have: my confidence.

**_The Week from Hell…_**

_Friday, November 20; it doesn't freaking matter._

So maybe I'm crying at the moment. Maybe I'm crying over my week that would send a normal person spinning into therapy. Maybe I need therapy.

So as I last left off with the pool hall I believe Darcy had just called me pretty and… well y'know.

So Friday I did very good and had a very boring day with nothing all that exciting going on and all that fun stuff. I didn't talk to Darcy. I didn't talk to Damien. I didn't talk to Fitz... that is until Monday.

On Monday Fitz finally tracked me down and managed to corner me in the hallway and ask if I was "Okay?"

"I'm fine Fitz. What would I have to be upset about? Darcy being a jerk to me, that's definitely not a new development," I replied unconcernedly.

"He's a good guy you know," Fitz shot back. "Did you know he's my cousin? He's so great sometimes, got me out of a couple sticky situations."

I just scowled. "That's great Fitz to be honest I don't really care what Darcy does."

"He's a good guy Lizzy. I mean he helped keep Eddie away from his psychotic, clingy girlfriend."

"What? Who?" My attention was now fully on the conversation.

"Some dumb blonde, Erin something-" he stopped talking when he saw my face and I just growled.

"Thanks Fitz you made me feel a lot less like I overreacted!" I shouted as I stomped off because although I'd had my suspicions about Darcy's role in Erin's heartbreak everything had been confirmed by Fitz, his cousin no less.

This time when I got to humanities I shot Darcy the dirties look I'd ever used in my life. Even jack would later come up and ask why I was so upset with Darcy, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him of how horrid Darcy truly is, and I definitely couldn't tell Erin.

On Tuesday I did tell someone of my troubles and I wish to god that I'd chosen someone else, because everyone seems to have some great relation to Darcy. I told Jo… no wait scratch that I told Georgie.

Yes I told Darcy's sister, because Jo and Georgie are in fact the same person. That night on the phone when Darcy was in my car, that was Jo. The awesome brother she always talked about, that was DARCY! The fact that both of them seemed to know things about me that only one of them should have, that was them being siblings!

I had befriended Georgie the dishrag's sister, without even knowing.

The worst part was when after I'd finished all my rantings, all my angry confessions she jut turns to me looking very somber and says. "I promise he's not a bad guy!"

Stupid naïve me, just looks confused. "What Darcy's not a bad guy? Did you not just hear my stories?"

"I heard them but maybe you're misunderstanding it all. I know he can be an idiot but I'm sure he never meant to hurt you!" she almost seemed to be pleading with me to like him.

"Why are you defending him?" I asked jaw dropped and everything.

"Because I have to."

"Oh god, please don't tell me you're like in love with him or something?"

"No, no. Only platonically."

"What Jo, what's going on?" I asked because she honestly looked as if she might cry and in that moment I kind of pitied her.

"Lizzy… my full name is Georgiana Darcy, or Georgie Darcy to my brother. Will is my brother," she said the last part softly.

I just stared at her pathetically not knowing what to say and quickly escaping the awkward silence that followed her confession when the bell rang.

Sometimes I can run rather fast, but how come I can't ever seem to do so at the gym when people are watching.

Also that night I went to the gym for a very long time only to be greeted by Jack and my sister making out on my couch. Which is gross. I kind of threw something at him and pushed him out of the house. Bridget says she never wants to talk to me again.

On Wednesday I when I went back to I.D. I told the teacher that my ankle was hurting again and she let me sit and watch instead of dancing and whenever Jo/Georgie came to talk to me I was very monosyllabic and she gave up on trying to talk to me pretty quickly.

Anyway every time during the week that Darcy had ever even made a noise in Humanities I would just shoot him my dirtiest look and eventually even Erin said she was a little scared of me and kind of started avoiding me because I wouldn't tell her what I was so upset about and now Erin thinks I'm angry at her and… Grr.

Well let's just say that my week has been the worst yet and that's not even including what happened yesterday.

I overslept. I mean like seriously overslept. I was over an hour late for school and I woke up with another sore throat which has developed into another cold already. So I missed first period in which we had a test which my French teacher won't let me make up because the absence was "unexcused" and I therefore got a zero!

During second period the teacher made me start dancing because she says she saw me skipping Wednesday in the courtyard and therefore I'm not as hurt as I claimed. (Skipping? I doubt it. Nothing about my week would have prompted me to skip!) Through the whole class Jo just kept saying, "Lizzy why are you so mad?" until eventually I pulled this fantastic fall to the ground and re-sprained my ankle. Now the damn teacher has to believe me because they put me on crutches again.

So I was late to Humanities since I had to go to the nurse's office then crutch back to the other end of the school. Which hurts by the way.

Well I was late and Erin just shoots me this worried glance but doesn't comment because the idiot she is still thinks I'm mad at her and Jack just laughed at me which didn't make me feel better. When the bell rang of course I was the last person out of the class… well almost.

Darcy decided that that would be the perfect time to have a great discussion with me. I finally wiggle out of my desk and up onto my crutches and he's just standing there holding my text book.

"Do you need help with this?" he asked holding up the book.

"No," I grumbled lurching forward to grab the book and completely forgetting my damn ankle.

"I'm just trying to help you know," he says quietly placing the book on my desk and then I notice he looks funny, not nervous or anything just funny. "Sometimes people want to do nice things for people."

I looked down at my desk, so he couldn't see the doubtful look all over my face, and pretended I wasn't really listening.

"You know I meant what I said," he said this really softly and if we hadn't been in a deserted classroom I never would have heard it.

"Meant what?" I asked nonchalantly shoving the text book into my back pack and trying to get my bag on to I could make an escape.

"About you being pretty. I do think you're pretty… in an unconventional kind of way. And you may be clumsy and somewhat ridiculous but I think it's kind of amusing. Your sister's completely superficial. But I don't know, I just can't help but like you," he said it quickly and with out looking at me that is until I dropped my bag.

"Darcy you may think you're the best thing on this planet but I have news for you. You aren't! You're a conceited prick that just insulted me to no end and seem to think that that whole damn speech makes you such a great person because 'You can't help but like poor loser Lizzy'? P_lease_! I sure as hell don't want some arrogant asshole in my life saying crap like that, breaking up my best friends' relationships, and mocking everything I do. I honestly don't care if you like me or not because guess what, the feeling's not mutual!"

He looked shell shocked for quite a few seconds while I stood there seething and just as I picked up my bag to finally leave he decided to start speaking again.

"What on earth are you talking about?"

I scowled. "You're so full of yourself. How about when you broke up Eddie and Erin or Jack and his girlfriend," his jaw dropped open, "not to even mention all the crap you've done to me!"

That's when I finally made my escape.

I spent lunch in Mrs. Hertz's office trying not to cry because sometimes guys can be hurtful no matter how little you value their opinions. Eventually I explained it all to her and she told me she'd sign me out if I wanted to go home.

So I did. And I didn't go back today. I slept until noon and honestly cried for probably the first time since my parent's divorce and swore to just forget it.

But I can't forget it.

_**Note-worthy…**_

_Monday, November 23; after school._

"A note?" you ask. "Who gives a note?"

Apparently Darcy does. Apparently I really struck a nerve that made him so unable to face me that he had Jo give me a note during dance as she whispered. "I know you're mad but just read it. It's really not as bad as you may think."

The note. Hmm I suppose you'll want to read it. Well that comes last.

Yes. I'm crying again.

Am I crying because I'm angry or because of something else? Because besides the first shock wave of anger I'm really not that mad. More frustrated than mad. More confused than anything.

But I honestly think I should be mad. First he ruins things with Erin, pretends he doesn't remember doing so. He insults me then decides I'm pretty, also in an insulting way. He also always so derisive and cruel. When I look back he's always mocking me or looking down his nose at me.

The scariest bit of it all is that he hasn't. He hasn't always been that bad. When I honestly look at it all, when I read this diary I realize that there's been so many times that he just looked at me or maybe said something kind of nice that I just completely ignored because I'd already made up my mind about him.

Which one's him?

The one I'd labeled so early or this one? The one that wrote this note.

Oh you still need to read that. Wait.

How could I have been so wrong? Especially about Jack. Why can't all questions just have one right answer? I just want there to be a black and white. I'm tired of the gray area.

Right, right. Here just read it now. I don't even know what to think anymore.

_Lizzy._

_So based on our conversation on Thursday and the ones I've recently had with specific family members (a.k.a. Fitz and Georgie) I get the fact that you must really hate me. Which is understandable because honestly sometimes I do stupid things. Especially around you._

_I don't think you'll understand because you're always so confident and reassured, but you make me nervous. I like you, Lizzy. I don't think you ever realized that but well… I do. I know sometimes I've been a jerk and all but I really didn't mean a lot of it how it came across._

_Ok so now all I've achieved is calling myself an idiot. At least we both agree on that. _

_Ok let me start with the Jo-Georgie thing. Georgie goes by Jo to most of her friends and maybe she'd heard me mention you back before she introduced herself to you but she never said a single word to me about anything you guys talked about and honestly I never even knew about you two being friends until last week. So I'm sorry that she can be meddlesome. I suppose she was just looking for a friendly face and ended up tied up in all this. _

_Now for Erin and Eddie. Can I be perfectly honest with you and say that maybe I meddled for what I thought was my best friend's interests. I knew he liked Erin but, stupid as I am, I believed Jackilyn when she said that Erin was using Eddie to get to me. I'm guessing that she didn't like me and I was just being "an arrogant asshole" which again I'm sorry about. Sometimes people act irrationally to protect people. I really didn't see her attraction to him, but if you say it's there then it's there. Girls are more perceptive than guys, or so I hear._

_So now for the one topic I actually get to be right about: (not that it's a competition) Jack. I hate to say it Lizzy but I hate him. He's a liar that I was once friends with, that is until I caught him with Georgie. He had a girlfriend at the time who I told about the whole thing and she ended things with him. Jack's probably the worst person I've ever met. No decent guy would cheat on his girlfriend and ruin things with his best friend all at the same time. _

_Right well I guess that's it. I'm sorry things got so screwed up. I'm sorry I'm such an idiot sometimes, but I can't change who I am or who you are and honestly I don't really want to._

_So like I said before, I like you and I really don't know how this mess got started but… yeah okay._

_Will Darcy_

_**When Bad Sisters Turn Good…**_

_Thursday, November 26; 8:54 p.m._

There I was lying in my bed for the third straight day in a row when the last person I ever expected came in.

"Lizzy do you hate me?" She asked quietly sitting on the edge of my bed.

"What Bridge? No I could never hate you," I muttered not looking up from my pillows.

"Are you upset that I kissed Jack? I'm really sorry about it. You just said you didn't like him and there we were home alone and he's just so cute," she muttered and for some reason I got the feeling she'd been crying.

I sat up taking pity on her. "He has a girlfriend Bridge. It may not be me but sometimes you have to look around at other people and realize that just because you want it doesn't make it right."

"I'm sorry," she squeaked in a small voice. "You must think I'm the biggest idiot in the world."

That's when I flicked on my desk lamp and looked at her. I may not have had a mirror with me at the time but I know I looked horrible and Bridget didn't even flinch, she did however cry for a second.

"Look at me Bridget. You're not the biggest idiot. Maybe I am, but don't let anyone ever make you think that you're any less great than you are. You may be somewhat shallow sometimes but at least you'd never hurt someone like I would."

"Is it Jack?" she asked wiping away a tear.

I shook my head. "Trust me Jack is the last person on my mind these days."

"Erin asked me in the hall at school the other day if you were okay. Are you guys fighting?" she asked softly.

I shook my head. "No I think she's just frustrated that I'm not telling her things."

"You could tell me," Bridget said sitting up into Indian-style on my bed and sounding interested.

"Trust me you don't want to know," I replied shaking my head.

"You may think I know nothing about everything Lizzy but I do know that sometimes I'm not a very good sister and I want to be if you'll let me. Can't I just listen? It might help."

That was that. I told her. I told her about Darcy saying he liked me. I told her about Jack cheating on Jo and everything else about mine and Jo's friendship. I told her about everything and all she had to say when I was done was: "Lizzy everyone deserves a second chance; even Darcy and even you."

_**I get by with a little help from my friends…**_

_Friday, November 27; 4:32 p.m._

Today I went back to school.

Today I talked with Erin.

Today I ignored Jack and laughed with Damien.

Today I maybe even smiled at Darcy, even if his back was turned.

_A/N: So um yeah... I like reviews...?_


	5. The Best and Worst Decemberween Ever

_I've recently noticed that each or my respective chapter got shorter than the last so you'll be glad to know this ones longer than the last. I tried to get it done fast so I must admit I didn't proof read and fear I will regret this decision tomorrow but it's 2AM and I wanted it to finish. Please don't get angry about where it ends up... I promise you a sweet next three chapters!_

_I must also admit that this one was fun to write. Let's just say this is where we start to get to the good stuff:D_

_I'm excited and you should be too._

_Let the fun begin..._

_**Smile Christmas is Coming**_

_Tuesday, December 1; In the a.m.. As in morning time._

'Tis the season to be jolly. 'Tis the season of presents and mistletoe and Erin and Eddie talking again.

Yes you heard right. Erin and Eddie are talking again.

No I have no clue what about but I'm pretty sure it's something mundane such as, "If you were a cow would you eat grass because it really doesn't taste good but I think you'd need it to survive?"

No I'm not kidding I heard her ask someone that once. It wasn't Eddie but still…

You want to know how this all came about don't you. Well I don't really know what spurred the whole thing but something to the effect of me complaining to the teacher that Jack never stops talking during class and that I feel he would be better suited on the other side of the classroom. Once Eddie and Jack switched their spots back again the truth, that neither he nor Erin was over the other, seemed pretty evident.

And Janie's having another party. A Christmas one. With fairy lights and everything. I'm talking full fledged Christmas joy. In a week from Friday.

So this weekend me and Erin plan to get all our Christmas shopping done in one full swoop and erase that whole last minute shopping debacle. She says she already got me a present which scares me a bit because Erin always gets me something really unconventional. Like in sixth grade she got me a fish, named Hubert, and last year she bought me a star (she'd saved for a really long time) that is only visible through like two telescopes in existence but still it's cool to know that somewhere in the universe there's a Lizzy star.

I also have very good news. I haven't cried in the past four whole days, but I must also admit that I've been listening to overly sappy songs at a pretty strong constant. It's not just facing Darcy that has me all weirded out, it's like this whole re-evaluation of me. All the people I just wrote off at a moments notice. And also the embarrassment of the whole ordeal. I still can't bring myself to look in Darcy's direction of the room.

Is it so wrong for me to want to just forget all this happened?

_**The negative aspects…**_

_Thursday, December 3; 12:21 p.m. It's lunch time_.

The worst part about having the same best friend throughout the majority of you life is that they know all those stupid things about you that you wish you could just forget. Like how Erin knows that until I was eight, I spoke with a southern accent and that I used to think that having your license was the greatest thing in the world and my first kiss was in seventh grade during Truth or Dare. Yeah all that stuff.

Erin knows everything so for me to find out that she told Eddie that I only listen to country music when I'm sad or feel lonely or that I pick at my nails when I'm nervous or excited and that I've never had a real boyfriend because I push people away, seem completely horrible.

But I'm not mad. I mean that's something that maybe if I spent enough time with Eddie I know he would have found out about but it's just… he mentions it in public.

He quotes my favorite song during Humanities and smiles at me in the hallway calling me Snookie like my daddy did when I was a baby. So it's just embarrassing.

I kind of really wish why Erin had said those things to him because…well I guess it's because she want me and him to become best friends so that she wont feel as guilty this time around when she drags me along on their outings. Which by the way I have no idea why I get to be subjected to such torment.

But there are some things that Erin and Eddie don't know. Such as why I'm refusing to join them whenever I know that Darcy will be present. In fact I must admit that outside of Bridget no one knows the whole Darcy story, and even with her I left some parts out. Why?

Why can't I just come clean? Why do I feel as though this whole thing should remain just between the two of us?

_**Back in Action**_

_Friday, December 4; after school time, which is the best time of all especially on a Friday._

I'm off my crutches again. I'm walking and guess what else, I'm talking. To Jo, that is, not Darcy.

I've decided that Jo should be her appropriate title because let's face it she was Jo pre-Darcy and nothing else has changed between us. Plus I mean I can't let the whole thing allow me to ruin even more of my relationships.

Look at me I'm growing.

Unfortunately that includes physically as well as mentally because when I went to the doctors about my ankle they measured me and I've grown half an inch since I last sprained my ankle.

So anyway the whole Jo thing. I just walked in and said, "Hey!"

She gave me back some silly apology to the effect of, "Lizzy you know I never meant anything by the whole ordeal. I never said anything to Darce about the whole thing. I just really thought you were interesting."

I jut smiled at her panicked tone and told her I liked her new haircut and the whole thing was behind us. It's weird now though when she mentions his name and I just sit shell-shocked for a whole second before I can smile again.

Well I'm back in action and going to see some ridiculous movie with some steroid induced action hero running around trying to save the poor helpless damsel.

Then working from six to ten so that I have some money to pay for my presents because I haven't been to work since I hurt my ankle… and my ego.

Will be fun. I promise, it will be.

_**Let the speaking begin.**_

_Monday, December 7; seventh period._

"You like Dashboard Confessional?" Darcy asked me when Eddie began serenading me totally out of the blue in Humanities today.

"Um, yes?" I replied honestly looking at him for the first time in a long time. "Is that a problem?"

He shook his head vigorously. "No it's just I never pegged you for a Dashboard type girl. It's a bit whiney, that's all."

I shrugged casually. "It is. But everyone has their complaints in life. Even cold-as-ice Lizzy."

"You're not cold-as-ice. Only ice cubes can achieve such a feat," he replied smiling slightly and I felt the corners of my mouth pulling into a smile.

"Oh Will Darcy, King of Puns," I replied jokingly chuckling. I also noticed Erin and Eddie staring at us like bug-eyed goldfish.

"Yes I like Dashboard," I continued. "They're not my favorite but when I'm really in a mood they seem to hit the spot."

"I mostly listen to Jack Johnson when I'm upset, he always seems to put things in perspective," Darcy replied turning back in his desk to face the front.

"Which album?" I asked and he swirled back around to face me obviously not expecting me to continue the conversation and the pocket of his sweatshirt caught on the corner of his desk jerking him a little and making me smile.

"Depends on the mood. 'On and On' is kind of political. 'Brushfire Fairytales'-"

I interrupted him as I shouted out, "I love that one. It's my favorite!"

He eyeballed me. "Mine too."

I looked up at the ceiling briefly then back to him nodding a bit. "I think most people would agree it's his best, it's got the sweetness of 'In Between Dreams' and the great themes of 'On and On'."

He tilted his head. "I guess so."

I smiled at him kind of brightly then pointed at Erin. "See Erin I'm perfectly capable of being civil."

She let her jaw drop to match her popping eyes. "I never said you weren't."

"Erin why would you say such dreadful things to poor Lizzy?" Eddie asked staring at Erin in mock horror.

I chucked and I heard Darcy even give a small grunt of laughter.

It was weird that for once we actually managed to have a conversation without him grunting replies or me yelling like a four year old.

Almost, maybe even, kind of nice.

_**Stress marks?**_

_Thursday, December 10; so late that I should be asleep._

I'm getting sick again from all the stupid stress of finals next week. I know they don't really matter that much but I have a lot of borderline grades due to all my missed school recently so this time it actually matters how I do for my classes.

I just need to push through next week and then I'm home free.

Plus I have Janie's party tomorrow so I get to maybe… hopefully blow off some steam, through non-illegal activity.

Have I mentioned that Darcy made me a CD? Honest to god.

It's good too. Has all these cool demos from random bends that no one's ever heard of.

And it had another note. This time on better terms.

_Liz_

_Just random cool bands that remind me of Jack. Eddie has horrible taste in music but I thought maybe you'd appreciate it?_

_Well just tell me if you like them._

_Darce_

Yes that's verbatim. He called himself Darce. Good or not? Who knows?

And then today I saw him in the hall while I was running errands for Mrs. Hz. There he was waiting outside the deans office with his back pressed against the wall and his head bowed.

"Hey," I said stopping in front of him. "In trouble?"

He looked up from the floor he'd been watching and kind of smiled while shrugging. "Not really. Kind of fell asleep in Spanish. She didn't like that much I suppose."

I gave him a weird head tilt. "I wouldn't think she would."

He shrugged again. "She's been out to get me all semester. Just saw this as the last chance I suppose."

"Yes Darcy I'm sure that's the problem. The whole world's out to get you," I replied smiling and pulling the copies I'd made to my chest.

He smiled broadly this time. "Exactly. It's a wonder at how well you catch on sometimes."

"What can I say, I suppose I'm smarter than I seem?"

"Oh much," he replied smiling as Dean Hertz came out of his office scowling, then stopping when he saw me.

"Miss Morgan to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked as though we were great chums.

"Nothing really Dean Hertz just making sure you're instilling only the harshest of punishments on the rebellious Darcy here," I replied smiling quite widely as Darcy's jaw dropped. "Oh and also the Hertzinator says to say hello!"

Dean Hertz, or Uncle John, just smiled at me and waved my last comment aside. "As for Mr. Darcy here, he just seems to be a bit stressed over finals, and obviously he should be if he's been trying to keep up with you, Miss Morgan. Take this note back to class Mr. Darcy," he finished handing Darcy the note and smiling at me as he re-entered his office and shut the door.

Darcy looked at me in awe. "I can't believe you just got me off the hook like that."

I just shrugged and began walking down the hall. "I didn't do anything. He was obviously planning on letting you go if he had a note already written out."

Darcy turned and followed me. "Yes but normally he gives at least a ten minute speech using every last scare tactic in the book."

I stopped in front of Mrs. Hz office and looked at him. "Darcy you come here far too often." I then shook my head and began to open the door to her office. "This is my stop."

He looked panicked for a brief second then smiled again. "Okay I suppose I'll see you tomorrow at Janie's thing?"

I nodded. "Yes and then there's the fact that I sit beside you in a class. So it is unavoidable that you will see me tomorrow."

"Unavoidable? Admit it you look forward to it all day," he smiled again towering over me.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I slipped into her office.

As soon as I'd shut the door and turned I saw Mrs. Hz smiling all too broadly and asking repetitively who on earth I'd been talking to that made my face turn pink.

I however maintain that never has such a tint reached my cheeks.

_**Tonight we're gonna hit the town.**_

_Friday/Saturday, December 11/12; so late that I haven't a clue if it's tomorrow or today_

So the party… was really good.

It was casual, due to the cold, and crowded. Janie had opened up her porch so people would throw on their sweatshirts and wonder out into the night for who knows what.

I designated myself driver and took Erin and Eddie with me after they promised to remain responsible because who gets drunk at a Christmas party?

When I got there I was immediately accosted by Damien asking me if I could start a conversation between Fitz and him. I agreed not because I think Damien has chance in hell but maybe slightly because Fitz was there with Darcy who had made me promise in humanities today that I'd at least say hi to him.

"Darcy, I'm here for my obligatory hello," I said smiling and flicking Fitz on the arm to get his attention. "Hello to you too Fitz, and Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas? I do believe this is America Lizzy not England dear. We say Merry here," Fitz said smiling at me.

This time I chose to hit him on the arm rather than flick him.

"Don't make fun of her," Darcy chipped in looking somewhat downcast by something or other, "I like happy better I think. Adds diversity."

I gave him a questioning look. "Oh yes because Darcy adapts so well to change."

"I do, don't I?" Darcy said proudly.

This time I punched him instead. "Let's not b egotistical. I was being sarcastic. You're the guy that freaked out when his best friend got a girlfriend."

"I maintain that she didn't like him," he said and I just pointed over his shoulder to where Erin was giggling as Eddie wrapped his arms around her. "Ok well she didn't like him _that_ much. What's it matter anyway. They're back together."

I rolled my eyes. "Damien wanted to ask you where your girlfriend is," I said turning to Fitz and giving Damien a pointed look.

Fitz frowned for a second, "We broke up," he said then smiled again wrapping his arm over my shoulder, "Why are you looking?"

I grabbed his hand and pulled it back over my shoulder. "Trust me you could never handle me," I said smiling as he shrugged in reply.

"Too true. You're quite a handful dearie. I think it best I leave that one for others to try at," he added as I tried to ignore his pointed glance at Darcy.

"You do realize I'm not blind right Fitz?" I said closing my eyes so I could ignore both his and Darcy's respective reactions.

That's when Damien finally decided to speak and asked Fitz all these rather stupid questions about some rather dull movie that we'd watched last weekend.

"My god those two are dull," I yelled to Darcy standing up on my tip toes so I was closer to his ear and he could hear me over the music that had just started up.

"I concur," he replied bending down to meet me half way. "I never really enjoyed movies. More of a music guy myself."

"Trust me I know, I'm the music girl," I yelled back but he just shook his head and pointed to his ear to show that he couldn't hear me. I tried yelling it again and when my voice was still drowned out by the music Darcy literally took my arm in his hand and led me out of the house to the porch where a lot less people had taken residence due to the cold.

I didn't blame them for staying inside because despite what most people think Florida gets cold and I immediately felt the goose-bumps appear on my bare arms. "Jacket?" I asked rubbing my arms viciously.

"You do realize that if I go in there and get your jacket I'll never come back out?" he said as I scowled. "Fine, fine," he continued at my unwavering scowl and instead of moving he merely took off his own jacket.

"You do realize the repercussions that would occur if I took your jacket right?" I asked hesitating to take it.

"I'd be cold?" he asked.

"Yes that and our rumor mill will start churning again," I stated bluntly, but still grabbing his old baseball jacket and curling my hands up inside the excessively long sleeves after I'd gotten it on.

"Who cares what people think?" he said shrugging.

I stepped closer to him. "Who are you and have you done to Will Darcy?" I asked staring into his eyes from different angles and trying not to notice that they had little green specks rather than only the dull brown I'd always suspected they contained.

He shrugged again and rubbed his hands together. "That or your very limited perspective of him has died."

I looked back down and stepped back away. "Nope scratch that last remark Darcy's definitely still in there."

"Good or bad thing?" he asked simply and taking the step back that I'd just opened.

"Have yet to decide," I replied not budging and looking back up to him.

He got quiet and just kept breathing making clouds of perspiration with every breath. We weren't that close and yet I could smell the peppermint of his gum, although maybe it was mine.

"Have you ever tried to smile with half your mouth?" I asked filling the silence and laughed as he silently attempted it and the cloud returned as he burst out with laughter. "Yeah tricky isn't it?"

"I never knew you were so random."

"I never knew you could look so goofy," I replied.

"Did you like my CD?" he asked jumping right into his question without missing a beat.

"And you call me random?" I asked rhetorically walking over to the railing on the porch and perching myself up onto it as he walked over and stood beside me.

"Well did you?" he asked antsy of my reply.

"Honestly?" I asked and he nodded vigorously. "I really liked it. Especially the fifth song, that whole story about his mother made me want to go hug my mom and tell her I love her even when she's being a bimbo."

"I highly doubt any mother that could raise you would be a bimbo," he replied simply tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt.

I raised my eyebrow, "Have you never met Bridget? And remember that incident at the homecoming game?"

His eyes clouded for a second then he laughed. "Oh right. That was pretty funny."

I scowled. "Maybe for you. I don't know what happened but for some reason she's obsessed."

"With what? Embarrassing you?"

I shrugged. "That and the L word."

"The 'L word'?" he asked blankly.

I leaned in and whispered as if I was swearing, "Love."

He laughed. "Well aren't we quite the pessimist?"

I squeezed my eyes. "I just don't like the dependency that love seems to crave."

He sighed and looked at something over my shoulder. "No you definitely wouldn't Miss Independent."

I held my hand over my heart and fluttered my eyelashes. "Why this is an award I've so longed to receive!" I then gave mock pageant kisses to an imaginary crowd, and said, "Think you," to them twice before he grabbed my hand smiling.

"You can stop now."

I blew one last kiss to an extremely robust man in the front row that didn't really exist.

"So you really avoid that type of thing?" he asked simply.

I shrugged. "That's Erin's forte. Let them want what they want. I really just want an adventure."

"Doesn't everyone?"

I shrugged. "I suppose. In different ways." I pulled all my hair into my hand a stared down dreamily at the floorboards.

"So what do you want to be when you grow up?" he asked after a silent moment.

I shrugged. "Maybe a flight attendant. I know it sounds stupid," I added as he snorted, "But think of all the people you get to meet. The places you get to go. What would you do anyway?" I asked as he continued to chuckle.

"I want to be a pilot."

"See how can you make fun of me for that when you desire something so similar?"

He held up a hand. "You didn't let me finish. I want to be a helicopter pilot for the Navy and go on rescue missions."

I groaned. "Now I feel like a real bitch. You want to be all honorable and help people, and I just want to go to Rome."

He sighed and smiled. "Flight attendants help people too you know."

I waved him off. "Yes but in a much less literal way."

"It's getting late you know. Maybe we should go inside and dance or something?" he asked eyeing me hopefully.

"Oh no," I said shaking my head, "Will Darcy would never be caught dead dancing with the likes of Lizzy Morgan."

This time it was Darcy's turn to groan. "Oh don't go there. I liked you and you were rude to me."

"Again I'm forced to bring up the Erin/Eddie thing," I replied.

"One word for you: Jack."

"Well maybe if someone had told me to watch my baby sister more closely I wouldn't have caught them making out on my sofa," I replied and Darcy stopped with his retort.

"What? He kissed your sister also? Did he have a girlfriend at the time?"

I scowled. "Yes as a matter of fact he did."

Darcy leaned closer to me again. "I could beat him up if you want me too."

I smiled again. "What and risk you being sent to the deans again? I wouldn't dare request such a thing."

He smiled and didn't move again.

"It's funny how easily you seem to smile now. I think before this week I'd seen you smile like once," stated looking at him pointedly.

"I'm quite the robot I know."

I laughed so hard I almost fell from the railing I was perched on. "I used to refer to you as Robot-Darcy: the Emotionless Male."

He leaned even closer. "Just because I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve doesn't mean I don't have them."

I snorted. "On your sleeve? You barely wear them under four layers of clothing."

"Speaking of layers. I'm cold," he said rubbing his arms.

"We could go inside."

He shook his head. "No let's not. Too many witnesses."

I dropped my jaw in shock at his statement while he leaned even closer and this time really did fall off the railing as none other than Fitz suddenly appeared on the deck asking innocently, "What are you two up to?" then stopping when he saw me fall and him and Darcy jumping over the railing themselves to see if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I said shaking them off and ignoring my bad ankle's protest as I walked around back to the steps.

"You sure?" Fitz asked coming around with me and grabbing hand to steady me as I attempted the first step.

"Trust me I'm refusing to have sprained my ankle a third time so therefore I'm perfectly fine," I protested as Fitz left me put my weight on his arm to get up the last four steps and Darcy stood behind me grabbing my waist to sturdy we as I lifted myself.

Fitz giggled. "You have to admit it would be somewhat funny if you did it again." I shot him the glare of death and he stopped giggling. "Or not," he added as an afterthought.

"You know I once dated this girl who used to pretend she was hurt just so I'd kiss her. She was rather weird," Darcy said from behind me and I almost fell down the stairs as I whirled around to shoot him the same death glare.

Fitz laughed. "Darcy you truly are an idiot," Fitz muttered.

I released myself from both their grasps and grabbed the railing to help me back across the porch to the house.

"What'd I do Lizzy?" Fitz asked standing there blankly.

I pivoted on my good foot. "First of all Darcy I'm not your damsel! Don't associate me with the former bimbos because that is why we will never ever be dating! And Fitz sometimes you need to learn when to shut up. That is all!" I added and stormed into the house slamming the door in my wake.

It didn't take me long to find Erin and Eddie and push them trough the door to my car only to find Darcy sitting there on the hood of my car.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly.

"A ride and to apologize?" he asked.

"No need to I'm not upset, I growled as I hopped in the front seat and eventually the Erin and Eddie shuffled into the back as Darcy grabbed the front seat. Erin lived the closest to Janie's so I dropped her off first and then Eddie because without Erin around he's a rather dull person and as I head off the Darcy's house I could feel him staring at me from his seat.

"So what did I do to warrant such anger?" he asked eventually.

I glanced at him quickly then back at the road. "Nothing you did nothing. I'm just upset that my ankle hurts again."

I heard him sigh. "I believe that for a grand total of five seconds," he muttered as I pulled up to a stop sign in his neighborhood.

I looked over at him seriously and said sternly. "Trust me Darcy it' not anything you did."

Because I realized that later, after I'd dropped him off that it wasn't him I was upset at, he'd done nothing but be himself, it was me. I'd actually let myself want to be with him. To be that girl on his arm and that scared me. It made me feel weak.

What am I if not rebellious, stubborn Lizzy?

_**Let exams be done…**_

_Wednesday, December 16; 2:55 p.m._

It's done. Exams are over. School is out for break.

When I get back I will not be a student of French nor Humanities but merely a Music appreciation and Chemistry student.

Did I mention how excellent I did in all my subjects? Yes even Interpretive Dance. A's across the board. And now only the joys and woes of the holidays to look forward to. If I wish to I can completely ignore every member of the junior class and become a total hermit that answers her cell phone for no one.

In fact I now make a resolution to only talk to Erin until New Years. No Darcy, although I don't believe he has my phone number anyway. No Janie. Definitely no Jack, whom I haven't talked to in quite some time, and even no Damien.

For the holidays are about family. Plus I'm going up to Virginia to stay with my dad for the holidays. Another reason why it's so great to have my Christmas shopping done early.

I gave E her present today which was this adorable scarf she's been staring at in Gap every time we went there to see if I could find something "Bridget-worthy". I knew she'd love it immediately and she didn't fail me.

She didn't have my present yet because she says it's not ready which makes me just a smidgen nervous about what on earth it could be. Or maybe that's just curiosity.

I feel bad that I'm leaving the mother here all by her lonesome but she's going to be staying at her (honest to god) boyfriend's house for the week.

I give her and Bridget their present tomorrow because it wouldn't be worth it to travel with them.

I got Bridget this t-shirt that says on the front "I'm a Barbie girl but you love me anyway" and has a Barbie doll on it. Very berry her. Mom I got a new watch which she's expecting because every year I give her one and by the next year she's lost it.

I'm very excited to go somewhere where it snows and me and Bridge can snowboard and wear long underwear and all that fun stuff. I'm a bit nervous though about spending time with el Padre because I haven't spent a Christmas at his house since I was six.

It'll be an adventure of that I assure you.

_**The weird realizations…**_

_Sunday, December 20; 10:24 a.m._

I'm on break and yet here I am awake before the crack of noon. I assure you my mother would be very proud.

Life with dad is weird. I just don't normally see him for more than a weekend so it's odd to know he'll be around until Saturday.

It's cold up here but I love the book shop it's so warm and cozy and I still remember playing with Bridget around the store when wee were really little. It's no wonder I grew up to love books so much. They even smell great. I feel as though this week might get boring because dad still has to work the Christmas rush right up until Christmas eve but me and Bridge are planning to hit the slopes tomorrow and she wants to see if we can meet cute snowboarder guys while I want to find cell phone service so I can call Erin, because I'm roaming everywhere I go and my mom would shoot me if I had a twenty minute conversation with Erin. I really hope she's okay.

But then again she has Eddie now and is probably soaking in the bliss of not having me as a distraction away from her time with him. God I hope not.

I'm not so good at this whole hermit lifestyle because like twenty minutes ago I had this really strong feeling to talk to Darcy and so now I know all this altitude has my head all whacked out.

Gosh is it weird that I'm this homesick? I mean honestly what do I have that's all that great back there? I even miss my mother and her silly outfits and I hope she doesn't marry this guy Ron because then who would I make fun of for being flirtatious with every single father that we meet? I mean besides Bridget that is.

I'm having this sudden realization of how much I love my common ordinary non-adventurous life.

_**Home at last…**_

_Saturday, December 26; 9:40 ish._

I just got home and am kind of relieved. I loved seeing my dad and he really did well for Christmas (he got me real life pearls!) but I missed having my mom who knows exactly what shirt I was looking at four months ago because she never forgets that stuff.

But I got home to the empty house and the Bridget falling asleep on the sofa almost immediately and now me wanting Erin to finally answer her phone so I can find out somewhere we could meet because aside from the three five minute phone conversations we had I haven't talked to her in over a week and I miss her. She's like my sister that I unknowingly allowed into my heart.

I missed the warmth of being here. Not as in weather because it's still rather chilly but the warmth of my home. My bed with my special pillows and sheets and my body indention in it.

Speaking of… I believe it's calling my name. Now if only Erin was.

_**Happy Belated Christmas.**_

_Monday, December 28; 4:40_

So Erin remained conspicuously absent Sunday also and then turned up this morning claiming how much she missed me and that she didn't call me yesterday because she was finishing my present which was so worth the wait. She'd worked on it almost six months.

It was a story. Not just any story: mine. It was about me and all my magical adventures in the world of dreams and it was so long and beautiful and I even ended up taking a magician along with me on my journey, whom she claimed was roughly based on a rather muscular Harry Potter. It was great and I told her that she was talented and could be a writer sometimes, because she could. It was the first time she'd ever let me read anything she'd written and I fell in love with this story. She could do this. To me she is too good not to.

For the rest of the day we snuggled up into my two warm sofas with three blankets each and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" all day.

It was classic Erin and me day. Because some things never change.

_**Happy New Year…**_

_Tuesday, December 31; 12:52 – so I suppose that classifies this as January now._

It's true I did make my reappearance into the social world tonight with three resolutions: 1) be more open minded, 2) Try something new everyday, and the annual 3) give up chocolate (which if I'm being completely honest about I've already failed fairly miserably at).

Erin and I spent all day going to our shine maximum and every bit of us sparkled. I wore her new blinky fake diamonds with this sweet black dress from my mom and she wore the long black chain Aunt Claire gave me and a black dress of her own that made her look really pretty and me really jealous. I wore my huge snow-jacket when I was going there and it looked funny s the skirt of my dress hung out the bottom with my tights and ballet flats keeping my lower body warm. I even straightened my hair and pulled half of it up into this sparkly clip of Bridget's. I must admit I rarely go all out as I did for this night, but what can I say it was my début.

We arrived at the party and honestly Erin and I were almost immediately accosted by some guys, Eddie among them. I fought through the rest of the guys once Erin had departed and hung my jacket on top of the stack of them that had accumulated on one of the chairs and went in search of some familiar face.

I found Fitz first talking up some red-head by the fireplace, whom he quickly shooed when he saw me and stared at me, eyes alight. "My god Lizzy, you should wear that exact outfit everyday for the rest of your life."

I smiled at him and I could tell my cheeks flushed and eyes sparkled at the compliment. "Thanks Fitz, I must say you look quite hot," I commented because as always he did in a simple pair of jeans and an Abercrombie shirt that he rolled the sleeves up on and pulled perfectly across his chest.

He sighed. "What can I say I try, but only to impress the likes of you Lizzy your royal hotness."

I rolled my eyes and looked around the room. "You're ridiculous."

"No you are because I know that right now your attention is hardly on me but on searching this room for someone. Someone in particular perhaps. Maybe Will?"

I snapped my gaze back to him. "Yet again I say: 'You're ridiculous'. Why on earth would I be looking for Darcy?"

"Hmm maybe because the entire time you were gone you kept thinking about him? Am I close?"

I rolled my eyes again and chose not to respond but continue to examine the room.

"Which is good," Fitz continued, "because he spent the entire time here with me moaning about you being gone for a couple days. That boy's completely ridiculous."

But I never really registered what Fitz was saying because at that moment I finally spotted Darcy across the room talking to Janie about god knows what and I must say that he spotted me.

I'd like to tell you that our eyes met across the room and that he immediately came over to me saying how much he missed me and all that total crap but none of that happened, no because instead Janie stoop up on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek and he broke his gaze at me to look calmly down at her.

I looked back to Fitz who was still rambling about something or other until he noticed that I'd involuntarily paled. "What is it sweetheart?" he asked looking at me in alarm.

I shook my head trying to clear the image of what I'd seen or at least modify it from the one that immediately leapt into my head of them really kissing.

Fitz looked around frantically over my head as I bowed it and pushed the top of it into his chest, although I swear I wasn't crying, or even upset at that.

Finally I felt Fitz stop shaking his own head in panic as he lifted mine and looked me into my eyes. "Good no tears. I'm sorry Lizzy I'd forgotten about her and Will. Tell me if you want me to stop," he commanded then proceeded to tell me how Janie and Will just kept meeting at the gym and she just kept asking him out until eventually he conceded to a movie with her.

I listened to the whole thing completely aloof and when Fitz asked me at the end of his explanation if I was okay I honestly replied with a very bright, "Yes. Honestly Fitz why wouldn't I be? I was flattered that Darcy liked me but it's not like I felt the same for him or anything so I really don't understand what you're getting so worked up about." I bit my lip as soon as I'd finished talking and Fitz sight.

He gave me a reluctant, "Good."

I smiled and brushed him off as I noticed my old pal Ty waving me into his corner and I kissed Fitz on the cheek and told him, "Have fun tonight."

I spent the rest of the night on the arm or Ty's chair and I kissed him lightly at midnight and even smiled at Darcy when we were getting a drink near each other from the refreshment table and told him, "Happy New Year," and scampered of before he'd said a single word.

I went home alone because Erin and Eddie had left long ago and I undress and now I'm going to sleep. Because honestly I really didn't like him.

I swear.

_Please don't hate me. They just weren't ready to get together. Not yet! Don't forget that thing tha makes me update that much faster... what? Huh? Yeah thats right review!_


	6. A Very Lonely January

_A/N: 26 pages is now my personal best. It's longer just as I promised and of course filled with conflict._

_I'm sorry it still took me forever but only two weeks so that really not that bad considering how busy I am._

_Just ahve fun with it nd ignore my horrible grammer:)_

_**Surprise visitors…**  
_

_Wednesday, January 1; late afternoon_

One will never guess as to who was my most recent visitor. Yes it was Will. How did you guess?

So there I am lounging around my living room basking in the glow of this being the first day of an entirely new year and that whole blank slate crap when the doorbell rings. Since I've already mentioned that Will came to my house it should have lost its shock value by now, but let me reiterate just for emphasis: Will Darcy for some very odd reason that I'm still not too sure about was on my doorstep.

I threw open the door most definitely not expecting to be greeted by Will's smiling face.

"Hi there Lizzy," he said simple as day. "Want to invite me in or shall I spend the entire day standing here on your very lovely door step?"

I shook my head my mouth agape in shock. "What on earth are you doing here?"

He put his index finger to his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "Well there are only two reasons that I could ever think of that might explain my presence at your house. One is that I was a bit miffed by you not saying but two words to me last night and wanting an explanation or the other might be that I can to see your sister."

I scowled at him for a second. "You don't even know my sister's name."

"Of course I do."

"Then what is it?" I asked still scowling.

"It's Bridget," Bridget herself quipped in at Will's momentary silence and miraculously appearing over my shoulder as if on cue. "Will won't you come in?" she asked giving me a pointed look.

"See," Will said turning to me with a grin and stepping past me through the doorway, "at least someone has some propriety."

This did nothing to help remove my semi-permanent scowl.

"So," Will asked Bridget almost immediately after passing me, "which one's Lizzy's room?"

I whirled around angrily. "No way are you going into my room!"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Well I've already seen the rest of the house, remember?"

I blushed remembering that whole incident so many months before.

"I think it's this way," he said strolling down the hall that coincidentally led to my room and I chased after him. "Let's have a look shall we?" he asked stopping with his hand on my door handle.

"Let's not," I replied sternly grabbing his hand from the knob.

"Why Lizzy? Have something to hide?" he asked with his eyebrows at their peak as if he was challenging me.

"No," I shot back bluntly.

"Well now that you're being so cruel about it," he said pulling his hand from my grasp and shoving my door open, "I feel that much less guilty about snooping."

He walked into my room as if it was his own and immediately collapsed on my bed being swallowed in my pillows. "Oof you have a lot of pillow."

I shrugged and tried not to blush. "I'm a bad sleeper."

"Thought as much," he said grabbing a book off the foot of my bed. "Ooh Lizzy keeps a journal. Never would have guessed that one."

I immediately leapt into action to grab my journal back. "That's mine!" I squeaked making an attempt to grab it but he merely stood up on my bed with the book raised high above his head.

"Lizzy lighten up a bit. Can I read it?"

I shook my head vigorously and climbed up so I was standing beside him on my bed.

He ignored my reply and instead flipped to the first page. "Ah the first day of school. A most appropriate place to begin a new diary."

I growled. "It's a journal."

"Oh hey it mentions me!" he said excitedly flopping back onto his butt.

"Does not!"

"Lizzy I can't believe you thought such horrible things about me!" he protested smiling as he read the journal.

"What makes you say it's past tense?" I asked acquiescing and flopping down beside him.

He looked up at me. "Touché."

"Can I honestly have my journal back?" I asked in a semi-vulnerable tone.

"Yes but first I get to read an entire entry of my choice," he said flipping the pages.

"You can read an entire entry at random," I said trying to bargain.

"Nope there's a particular night I remember that I really would like to read your very personal account of," he said simply flipping to the back of the book.

"Which one?" I asked trying to peek over his shoulder as he read.

"Last night's of course," he said offhandedly as he read.

"Please don't," I pleaded but he never replied merely immersed himself in my writing. Now that I think about it maybe him reading that particular entry was the most incriminating of them all but at the time the thought of him not reading some of my more insulting entries seemed like a relief.

The entire time he read I squirmed around on my bed anxiously tossing pillows into the air and catching them and flopping into a different position every few seconds but every time I'd move he just looked up at me for a second then went back to his reading.

When he'd finally finished he closed the book and looked at me with a simple statement of, "Most informative."

"I can't believe I just let you do that," I sated simply slapping my hands over my face.

"I don't know what you're talking about. It was very well written," he said smiling politely.

"You know I'm not talking about you reading my writing style but more of the things that were said!" I said from behind my hands.

He grabbed both my wrists and pulled them down from my face. "Nothing I couldn't have heard from Fitz had he actually been willing to tell me anything about what had happened besides that I should come talk to you today."

"Yes but now you know exactly how insane I truly am," I said softly.

He smiled as if I just told the funniest joke. "Trust me I've known that since the beginning."

I scowled again. "You're really not funny."

"And yet all too often you find yourself laughing," he replied and I just snorted in reply. "So about what you saw last night…" he trailed off and I didn't have the strength to let him continue.

"You really don't have to explain."

"Are you sure because I have a rather good explanation?" he asked seriously.

"You and I are friends right?" I asked and he nodded yes. "Then it really doesn't matter. Honestly, I'm not really upset about anything," I said shrugging. "I have no reason to be."

He nodded scrunching his bottom lip so his chin creased. "Yep, that seems to be the impression I got from your journal too," he added tossing the book in question from my bed and it slid to a halt across the room.

"Good. Now was there any other reason you came over here or are you planning to bother me for an entire day?" I asked standing up from the bed.

"I plan on bothering you all day of course," he said standing to join me. "We could go to lunch," he stated simply.

"And I could kick your butt at bowling," I added.

"Doubtful but you could try."

"Maybe if we're feeling like particularly compassionate people we could invite Eddie and Erin to play us in pool when we're finished bowling and we could smash their sorry butts into the ground," I added smiling as I grabbed my keys from my desk and he pulled them back out of my hand.

"I'll drive," he said putting my keys back on my desk.

He followed me out of the house and I stopped in my tracks, with him soon after walking into my back, when I saw the car he'd parked in my driveway. "Is that yours?" I asked staring at the beautiful new convertible.

He shrugged and opened my door. "It's my consolation prize."

I numbly sat down and ran my fingers over the leather interior. "What, may I ask, was done that requires such a massive consolation?"

He shrugged again as he slid coolly into his own seat and turned on the car. "My mom just couldn't seem to get back from her Caribbean cruise with Jennifer Lopez in time for Christmas."

I nodded casually then turned back to him my jaw once again dropped in awe. "Jennifer Lopez?"

He shrugged for the third time. "Apparently they go to the same spa or something when my mom's staying in California."

"What exactly does your mom do for a living?"

"She co-owns a record label."

"Only a co-owner?" I asked joking.

"Well I own the other half," he said simply while backing out of my driveway and refusing to meet my eyes.

"You what?"

He shifted the car into drive. "Yeah I inherited it when my dad died. Where do you think I got all those demos?"

At this point I swear to god my jaw must have been on the floor. "So… wow."

He sighed. "Yeah I guess that's an accurate description of it."

"So why do you live here and not L.A. or New York of something?"

This time he finally looked at me. "My dad loved it here. It's where he grew up before he hit it big and it's where he wanted me and Georgie to grow up."

I nodded. "That makes a lot of sense."

It was silent for a few seconds as we pulled out of my neighborhood and cruised down the road. "It's kind of weird when you talk about 'Georgie'."

He looked over at me again. "I'm sorry?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Not like that. I'm just so used to her as Jo. That's all."

He bobbed his head and the car rapidly grew quiet again.

"I just realized I'm still in my P.J.'s," I said starring off through the windshield.

He looked over at me again this time smiling. "Well opps. Do you want to go back?"

I looked in the back seat of his car and pulled a sweatshirt off the floor. "Is this clean?"

He nodded.

"This'll do then," I replied and pulled it over my head as he laughed.

"I think you just redefined the term 'low-maintenance'."

I shrugged after I'd gotten it over my head. "It's just you and me. What's it matter what anyone else thinks? Plus this thing's long enough to be worn as a dress. Exactly how tall are you?"

"Six and a half?" he asked rhetorically. "Something like that."

"And I thought me at a measly 5'11" was tall. How silly of me."

He chuckled. "It'll come in handy when I become a pro baseball player."

"I thought you wanted to join the navy?"

He smiled. "I have absolutely no clue what I'll do when I grow up."

"How can you say that and smile. We graduate in a year and a half!" I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"Trust me I know. I just don't want to decide on anything before I'm absolutely sure."

I sighed. "I can empathize with that. I have absolutely no idea either."

He laughed. "What happened to that whole stewardess thing?"

I hit him on the arm. "Flight Attendant! They're flight attendants."

"Right," he replied drawing out the i.

"I really just want to go wherever the world has to take me. I want to see it all and try it all. I want diversity and to never feel stuck in that rut my mom accidentally wondered into."

"The rut eh? Commitment-a-phoebe at such a young age," he said shaking his head solemnly.

"Holy hypocrite batman!" I said poking him in the arm.

He rubbed his jaw on his shoulder as he pulled the car into the bowling alley. "I'll decide someday. I'm just not ready yet. Once I have to have something though, then I'll do everything it takes to get it."

"So you're my opposite then. I spend my entire life trying to ignore what I want so I don't get upset when I don't get it and you get to spend yours just thinking up things to desire so that you can obtain them."

"You say that as if I'm the most spoiled child on the planet," he said opening his door after he pulled into his parking spot and I hopped out to join him in the parking lot. "I don't go around looking for things to want, they just kind of come at me. Nor do I get everything either. I'm not getting what I want most right now."

"Aha! So there is a future goal you've set. What is it then?" I asked excitedly as he held open the door to the building for me.

"It's unobtainable, because it doesn't exist, and therefore not even worth discussing."

He held up a two with his left hand for the desk clerk who just popped her gum and asked me bitchily, "What size?"

I shot her a dirty look and muttered, "Ten and a half."

Will looked at me for a second with the hint of a smile and told the girl politely, "I'll take a twelve."

Obviously the conversation was dropped because we argued for about twenty minutes on whether or not I should pay for myself and eventually it was decided I'd pay for pool instead, although I never did that either.

I must admit I beat him. No I slaughtered him: 196 to 102 the first game which seemed to demoralize him because in the second game he only bowled a 45 to my 180. It was actually very fun and we then met the two Es (a new nickname me and Will decided on after an odd comment he made about how creepy it was that their names created alliteration.) for lunch at Chili's. They both seemed a bit shocked when it was just me and Will out to lunch together.

After we killed Erin and Eddie in Pool, Will and I got back in his car and I just sighed. "That was fun."

He started the car. "Can I just say I was and idiot for not noticing how much those two like each other?"

"Yes you may," I replied smiling.

"Ok. I'm an idiot. Now that I notice it though I wish I didn't," he added with a disgusted face.

"Yes rather sickening isn't it?"

"Very," he said as though he'd tasted something bad.

"How come you're nice now? I know we've made 'revelations' and all that but still I've never seen you act as friendly as you do now."

He shrugged and smiled. "I suppose you just bring out the best in me."

I laughed and shook my head. "See like that."

He smiled. "I really don't know. I've always thought of replies to people's comments, I just never said them aloud."

"I like this Will more than Darcy."

He shrugged as we pulled into my driveway. "I do too actually. Who knew I was capable of making people laugh?"

I chuckled. "Look you even broke the icy exterior of the Ice-Queen. Quite a talented young man."

He rolled his eyes. "Lizzy you never could live up to your Ice-Queen reputation."

"Up until now you did a very good job with the robot reputation."

He smiled. "What can I say, I try."

I walked back to the house grinning and now Bridget is convinced I'm on drugs.

_**Tennis star…**_

_Friday, January 3_

Somehow Will and Fitz managed to convince me to go have a "couples" tennis tournament with them today. What I didn't realize was that when they said couples they meant it; Erin and Eddie, Darcy and Janie, and apparently Fitz and I are the newest couple.

Fitz is really horrible at tennis too. There we were playing against Janie and Darcy and he can't even get his damn serve over the net.

"C'mon Fitz! You're the least coordinated athletic guy I've met in my entire life!" I yelled dropping my racket onto the pavement in defeat.

"Lizzy be nice," I heard Erin shout from the bench and shot her a dirty look.

"You forget E I'm not nice. I am however honest."

Then Will came over to the side of the court silently chuckling. "Can't say I didn't see it coming."

"Hey ass hole. Shut up," I growled. "I'm tired of losing."

"Sorry sweetheart, I tried to tell you I suck," Fitz said shrugging as if it was nothing, because it was. I was just overreacting.

"Well you severely underestimated yourself," I threw at him walking off the court.

"Lizzy don't be ridiculous. It's just a game," I heard Will shout as I sat down on the bench but I tried to ignore him, he however took that as a sign that he should just come join me. "So Lizzy," he started sitting down beside me, "what's all this really about?"

I looked at him pointedly. "It's about Fitz sucking big time and me getting stuck on the losing team. You know I'm overly competitive."

"Yes I know, but still don't you think you're being a bit extreme?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Yes that's right it's just stupid Lizzy overreacting again. That always seems to be the problem doesn't it."

He looked at me pointedly. "Now that you mention it, it kind of is."

I looked down at the ground having most definitely not expected that as his answer. "Am I really overreacting?"

He nodded slowly. "Just a lot."

I punched him on the arm. "Hah. Not funny."

"I thought it was."

"You know for someone who's supposed to be so emotionless I really let things get the better of me," I replied quickly.

Will looked confused. "What does that even mean?"

I shrugged. "I suppose it's up for interpretation."

"Come play," he said simply.

"If I can have a new partner," I said simply but standing up all the same.

"Fine I'll be your partner."

"Who will be Janie's partner?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Whoever."

"You don't have to do that. You play with Janie, I'll stick with Fitz, at least this way I'll be the only one upset instead of everyone but me."

"Look at you Lizzy, so logical and self sacrificing," he said smiling as we joined the group.

"Wow Darcy you must be some sort of magician. You even made her smile," Erin said in total awe.

I scrunched my nose. "Fitz I'm sorry. You may suck but that's no reason for me to get so angry."

Fitz's eyes bugged out of his head and Erin's jaw dropped.

"Did you hypnotize her Darcy?" Fitz asked.

Will shrugged again, "Nope just told her she was being a total bitch."

I hit him on the arm as hard as I possibly could noticing Erin and Eddie exchange very weird glances but trying to ignore them as I picked up my racket. "I'm serving."

Fitz and I won that game and Will has a huge bruise on his arm now.

_**Stupid technology…**_

_Monday, January 6_

My car broke down.

It's raining, the first day of school, and my car decides it would be the perfect day to break down.

I don't know what prompted me to call Will first for a ride but I did.

"Will my car broke down."

"I'll pick you up," he said no questions asked and that was that.

He picked me up with Jo is tow and even made her give me the front.

"What do you have in place of humanities?" he asked not looking off the road as I switched the radio to my favorite country station.

"Chem. You?"

"Same. Guess you're stuck with me for a whole new semester," he said clicking the radio station back onto his CD.

"Grrrreat," I said drawing it out sarcastically and flipping the station back and even setting is as a preset so I could flip back to it quickly if he tried to do it again.

"Lizzy no country music is allowed in this car," he said predictably changing it back again.

I just pressed my button. "New rule Will: I need country music when I've had a bad day. Today thus far has been a bad day."

He cast me a weird look and stopped trying to switch it back. "Just this once."

I heard Jo snort from the back seat.

"What?" I asked turning around in my seat to face her.

"Nothing," she said smiling broadly.

"How was your break?" I asked.

"So great. Lizzy I have so much to tell you!" she said squeaking very girly.

"So then tell me," I said smiling.

"Lizzy I'm in love!"

This time it was mine and Will's turn to snort. "Jo darling you really think love is something that happens in two weeks?"

She shook her head. "Not for you but for me it does! Lizzy I swear I am!"

Will cast her a backward glance. "George you're a freshman. You're young and vulnerable. Not in love."

I smacked Will on his arm right where I knew his bruise was and watched him wince. "Don't listen to your bother. You're not vulnerable, just mentally unstable."

She scowled. "I can be in love if I want to be. Plus I like how neither of you even ask who I'm in love with."

"Fine," I said smiling, "Who are you in love with then?"

"Damien."

This time I truly cracked up. "Hon I'm sorry to say this but Damien is a bit off limits."

She scowled seriously this time.

"Because he likes you?" she asked and I gagged.

"What the hell makes you say that?" I asked still smiling.

She shrugged. "You guys hang out a lot and he's always talking about you. For a long time I thought you two were dating."

I giggled at the obscurity of it.

Will looked at me funny. "So does that mean you are or aren't with Damien?" he asked.

I smiled. "Oh god you thought so too. You're both insane!"

Will shifted again. "Well you two are really flirtatious."

I laughed again. "Trust me we are anything but. Damien and I were never nor will ever be together."

"So does that mean I have a chance then?" Jo asked hopefully.

I turned back to her and gave her a soft smile. "Sweetheart trust me when I say you do not love Dames. He's just not interested okay?"

She scowled. "What aren't you telling me?"

"A lot but it's nothing I'm permitted to say. I'd just take my advice and not go there."

We got to school and Will and I herded Jo off to the freshman portables then he walked me to my locker. "I still can't believe you thought I'd have a secret relationship with Damien," I said laughing silently and he blushed.

"You do lots of unpredictable things Lizzy. It's hard for people to tell sometimes," he said seriously though his eyes were twinkling.

"I love winter," I replied pulling my hands into the hoodie pocket.

"You say that now but when your toes fall of from wearing flip flops I will show no compassion."

"You won't even donate a single toe?" I asked pulling books from my locker and handing them to him to hold until I could shove them in my backpack.

"Not mine but maybe some of Georgie's."

"You're sister kills me," I said smiling and slamming my locker closed.

"She's weird I know."

"She's a Darcy. I'd expect nothing less than for her to be a bit peculiar."

"Where do you go first?" he asked handing me back my books on by one.

I just hummed the Keith Urban song that had been playing in the car.

"Earth to Lizzy?" he asked waving his hand in front of my face. "You're smiling a bit uncontrollably.

"Am I?" I asked dreamily.

He nodded vigorously. "Yes, very much so."

"I guess I'm just happy."

"I thought you were having a terrible day thus far," he pointed out.

"Yes it's weird how rapidly my moods seem to change isn't it?"

"You're probably the weirdest person I've ever met," he said shaking his head and turning into a classroom. "I'll see you in Chemistry," he added then disappeared through the door.

He was right about the smiling thing because for the rest of the morning at least twelve people called me "sunshine" and many more asked what I was so happy about.

I probably smiled broadest when I walked into my Chemistry class and was greeted by Fitz calling me sunshine just as so many other people had. "Yes now I have a chance of passing this class if sunshine's in it."

Darcy walked in with Janie as Fitz asked me pleadingly. "Please, oh please princess Lizzy. Be me lab partner so I can pass and graduate and you can get rid of me!"

I smiled again at him but this time it was harder to contort my face into the correct shape and it came out as a grimace.

"Don't think I didn't see that," Fitz whispered suddenly all business. "You like Will, no matter how reluctant you are to admit it and I have noticed how much your mood seems o plummet when you see him with her. Now be a good girl and be my lab partner before I tell Will all about how he's gotten to you."

"That's not at all true plus it's blackmail," I whispered blankly.

"Is it?" he said eyebrows raised.

Will sat down beside me and Janie in front of him. "What are you two whispering about?" he asked looking at us blankly.

"I'm trying to get Lizzy to be my lab partner," Fitz said simply and I bit my lip.

"So did she say yes?" Will asked.

I nodded still biting my lip. "Yes I guess I did."

Fitz smiled at me and I turned pink. "I told you so," he mouthed to me.

I tried to scowl and shake my head but I think my face was too flushed for him to ever buy it.

Will watched this whole interchange with his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed that neither I nor Fitz would make eye contact with him he decided it best to not ask. "Lizzy do you need a ride home?"

I shook my head still not meeting his eyes or even any other part of him for that matter. "I think I'll just ask Erin."

"Nope Eddie just told me that him and Erin are going out to lunch after classes," Will said simply trying to catch my eye.

"Shit," I muttered. "I'll just ask someone else then."

I'm pretty sure Will shook his head but I wouldn't really know seeing as I refused to look at him. "That's stupid I'll take you."

"Maybe I'll ride the bus," I muttered.

"Oh Lizzy don't be silly," Fitz said smiling as if it were his birthday. "Will's offering you a ride. Just take it. It's not as though you have any _particular_ reason to say no."

I tried to scowl but blushed again.

"Ok what's going on with you two?" Janie asked pointing to me and Fitz. "Are you two dating or something?"

I looked up from my desk in shock them quickly back down when I saw Will's incredulous face.

Both Fitz and I were too shocked to even protest and my face was still glowing from Will's expression.

I'd never in my life been the type of girl that blushes with every interaction so what on earth was going on with my coloring.

That afternoon out of desperation I climbed into the front seat of Will's car and tried to ignore my pounding heart by distracting myself by looking out the window.

"Will this isn't the way to my house," I said blankly as Will pulled into his own driveway.

"Georgie get out," he said sternly.

She seemed to sense something I didn't because she obediently leapt from the car.

"She didn't have to leave," I said suddenly, and for the first time in my life, nervous about being left alone with Will.

"We're going to lunch," he stated as if it wasn't anything he planned on arguing about. I however decided immediately against it.

"No. You're taking me home," was all I said.

"No we need to talk."

I growled. "Fine say what you have to say but say it now because I'm only getting out of this car once we pull into my driveway."

"I can't believe you're going back to being a bitch to me. I thought we were over that Lizzy."

I rolled my eyes. "Say what you have to say Will because this may be the last time I bother to listen."

He stopped for a long time and I noticed that he was heading back in the direction of my house. Suddenly the words just seemed to burst from him. "Why the fuck are you dating Fitz?"

I looked at him incredulously.

"You know what I hate about you," I said sternly, "It's that shit right there. You sit there and act all jealous about the idea of me seeing another guy, be it Damien or Fitz, and yet you're the one with a girlfriend. You're a dirty hypocrite. You have no say in my life so please don't even bother trying."

"You're ridiculous," he muttered.

"Yep that's me, ridiculous," I said clearly as he pulled into my driveway and I quickly scrambled from the car. "And just for the record I am not dating Fitz, Damien, nor even you for that matter," I said angrily as I slammed the door before he could reply and fled into my house not knowing exactly what I was more upset about, the fact that Darcy was really getting to me or the fact that I'd even noticed.

_**Avoiding…**_

_Friday, January 10_

It's Friday and I haven't talked to or even been within three feet of Will Darcy.

Fitz sits by me in Chemistry and I pretend as though he's the only person in the class and only speak to him when I absolutely must.

"Lizzy you and Will should just forgive each other for whatever stupid thing you seem to be fighting about and make-out passionately on the lab tables because I'm a bit tired of the sexual tensions," Fitz said sternly leaning across the aisle to speak to me.

I looked at him with a face of pure contempt. "Will who?"

"Oh shut up. You miss him and it's killing you to not talk to him."

I just kept my face rigid.

"Lizzy, would you finally just admit that you like him and that you're jealous," he continued.

"No. I don't lie Fitz," I said coldly.

"Lizzy…" he warned as if chastising me.

"Fitz I see no point in arguing about something that will never happen. Now what did you get for number four because I got HCl and water," I replied passively.

"Fine you want to go back to that damn game of yours then I don't care. It's not my life you're making miserable," he replied turning back to his paper and scribbling away for the rest of the class.

I now get to spend the entire night on my couch reading Harry Potter for probably the twelfth time and wallowing because I haven't seen Erin since we played tennis and I miss her.

_**When Someone Writes Something…**_

_Sunday, January 12_

Erin stopped by today. She said her and Eddie were at Eddie's house when Will came over.

"You can stop now Erin," I replied tiredly, "I don't care much about any story that has Darcy in it so you should just save your breath."

She looked at me almost as if she pitied me and I refused to wield any information with my facial expression.

"Lizzy did you ever read the rest of my story?" she asked looking at me simply and calmly.

I stopped having, out of all questions one could ask, definitely not expected that one. I slowly shook my head.

"No I don't think I ever finished it."

She looked at me with a half smile and picked up the copy of it that I had left on my desk after she'd given it to me.

"Well then maybe you should get on that."

"Okay… why? I mean of course I want to read it I just… isn't this all a little random?"

She shook her head. "You know I wrote this entire story about you. Lizzy you're a better character than I could ever dream up. You don't require a conflict because you have so many just built right up inside you. What is it about you that tries to keep you from being happy?"

I grunted. "I want to be happy I just don't think that any one person can make me be it. I want to do it all by myself."

She put her hand on my arm. "That seems awfully silly to make something that is so easy that much more difficult."

"Who's to say that way's easier?"

She looked at me with compassion in her eyes. "Let's not debate it. I love you Lizzy and I know how great a person you truly are, but I just don't understand why you won't let anyone else see that."

I dropped my head in confusion. "Because you would never hurt me."

"And Will would?"

I looked at her slightly miffed and nodded. "We were never even together and he managed to do so."

"No you managed to hurt yourself and him for that matter."

I raked my hands through my hair in frustration. "God Will leads me on then goes out and starts dating someone else. Am I the only person who remembers that? He's even the one that talked Eddie into breaking up with you! Did you even know that? Erin don't stick up for him. Don't act as though he's completely innocent and I'm the big bad witch, he pushed me away just as much as I did to him! You of all people in the world are supposed to be on my side! Why aren't you?"

She looked at me a bit hurt. "Lizzy you know I'm on your side. I'm always on your side."

I shook my head. "No you're on your own side. You just liked that while I was hanging out with Will you didn't have to feel guilty about ditching me for Eddie all the time."

"I can't believe you'd even think that," she said softly and weakly.

"You're just upset because it's true. God I don't even care. I have to go to work," I muttered grabbing my keys off the dresser and storming out of the house ignoring Bridget ask, "What's wrong?" as I slammed the door and left.

_**Working girl…**_

_Friday, January 17_

I've worked a total of 43 hours since Saturday.

It sucks yes but at least I have tons of money. I've decided I'll save it all and maybe go to Europe after graduation. Maybe I'll just go this summer and not come back.

I hate this town.

I hate that it seems to be impossible to avoid anyone.

I hate Janie Masterson. There she comes prancing into Starbucks today in her teeny-tiny mini-skirt and bobbing ponytail.

"Hey Lizzy. I thought I might find you here," she said perkily.

"Well I do work here Janie," I replied not really paying attention to her as I made some tall guy a Grande cappuccino.

"Well do you have a break soon? I kind of want to talk to you."

I was supposed to take a dinner break soon but I wasn't hungry so instead I lied, "No I just took it. Sorry."

She seemed to catch the lack of sincerity in my voice because she sighed and said, "We were friends not that long ago you know. I do realize when you're lying or not."

I just shrugged but she didn't give up.

"Ok I get it. You don't want to talk to me, I'm assuming over something to do with Will but here's the thing: me and Will are nothing compared to you and Will. I'm no idiot. I know who he thinks about when he gets all quiet and spacey. I know why he's been grumpy lately and why he doesn't joke around with me like he does with you. I. Get. It."

I looked at her blankly. "That's great that you and Darcy have such a… passionate relationship but you're wrong about Will and I because there's nothing between us. Nothing. So I don't really understand your motives for coming here and giving me such a lovely speech and honestly I don't really care. You and Darcy do whatever you want, it really doesn't concern me."

She laughed and shook her head. "You're completely deluded. Will and I aren't even dating. We mostly just talk about you when we're together. Don't even try to say such things to me about not caring because I'm not stupid and I've already told you how bad of a liar you are. The only person standing between you and Will is you."

She said it with finality and a sternness that I never even knew Janie had and then walked out. I didn't have to like her at that moment but I couldn't help but respect her.

So I spent the rest of the night focusing on her tone and as little as possibly on the words she actually said.

_**Refusals and Repetition…**_

_Monday, January 20_

Erin has called me seven times since Friday.

I have answered none of them.

People wonder why I don't let people into my heart but then they always seem to answer their own questions.

I'm pretty tired of being right all the time. I'm tired of having to keep people out because honestly I don't want to. It's just that people don't seem to ever give me a reason to trust them.

Or at least most people don't. Eddie however seems to have gotten into my heart.

When a foreign number appears on my phone out of pure curiosity and maybe slightly out of boredom I answered.

"Miss Lizzy Morgan do not for the life of me hang up," the voice says excitedly.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Eddie," was all he said.

"If you're calling about Erin then I might have to hang up," I said back.

"Well then I'm not calling about Erin," he replied quickly.

'Then what may I ask are you calling for?"

"Well you of course," he said brightly.

"Am I receiving yet another lecturing for 'being a heartless bitch'?" I asked back with more character than I'd had in my entire life.

"Heck no. You're not a 'heartless bitch' so I would never give such a lecture."

"Ok then. What is it?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're ok and that you know you do still have people on your side about anything you wish to be upset about."

"What?"

"Can I come over?" he asked innocently.

"No Erin?"

"No Erin," he agreed.

"Fine then but I work in an hour."

I hung up and ten minutes later he showed up on my doorstep.

"Hello Lizzy. How are you?" he asked stepping through my doorway and standing awkwardly in the hall.

I shrugged. "Honestly?"

"Always," he responded.

"I'm kind of out of it. Work a lot so at least I'm no longer broke."

He sighed. "That's… well that horrible actually. You must be bored out of your mind."

I shrugged and kind of let a smile slip.

"Ah there it is that winning smile that makes my best friend swoon."

The smile slid off my face as if someone had just said my mother had died.

"And yet it goes so quickly. Look Lizzy dear you helped me out when I was a heartbroken little fool and so now I plan on doing the same for you, he said seriously as I led him into my living room.

"No need because unlike you I'm no heartbroken little fool."

He nodded. "That's for sure. But you're also no elated little elf."

"Elated little elf?" I asked smiling despite myself again.

"Yes they are the happiest creatures on earth you know," he replied knowingly nodding his head.

"You are so perfect for Erin sometimes it scares me," I said shaking my head but still smiling.

"I could say the same thing about you and someone else but I know it would only upset you," I turned on me heel to face him as he said this. "So I won't," he finished.

"Then what did you come here to say?"

He stuck his hand into the pouch of his sweatshirt. "I didn't come here to say anything. Just thought maybe you'd like to watch a movie." He pulled a movie box from his pocket. "_Moulin Rouge_. I know it's your favorite sad movie."

I grabbed the box. "You know that if I watch this I'll be depressed for days afterwards."

He looked at me and shrugged. "Are you really not feeling so already?" he asked and I shrugged in reply. "Then I don't see how a little more sadness could hurt."

He popped in the movie and spent the rest of the night listening to me comment on the attraction level of Ewan McGregor.

He was very patient and very simple and for that he made me second-guess myself more than anyone else who had talked to ever could have.

He made me realize that I could be happy with just the simple companionship of someone to watch a movie with me.

_**Little sisters and their older brothers…**_

_Wednesday, January 22_

"Lizzy you know why I think you should never date my brother?" Jo asked me in dance today.

"Because our personalities are incompatible."

She shook her head. "No that's definitely not true. It's because when you fight I have to listen to him moan about what an idiot he is and why he could never make you like him."

"Oh how I pity you," I replied flatly.

"Honestly Lizzy I would have done the exact same thing to him. Where does he get off thinking he can rule your life? You're not his girlfriend. He's always trying to control my life and I let him do it more than I should because I know he cares about me but with you he never made that clear. He never told you about what his true relationship with Janie was and yet he expects you to tell him everything about you. I would have just told him to shut up."

I looked at her in awe. "Honestly?"

She nodded. "Yep, but still could you please just make amends for my sake. You may not think much of it but he's truly dreadful to be around right now. For all our sakes really; just say like one word to him. That should shut him up for a couple days."

I laughed.

"We'll see."

She threw her hands up in the air in celebration. "Sweet, that's not a direct 'no' so I'm happy!"

I laughed at her as she did this horrible ballerina turn and slipped on the mat.

It may not have been a "direct no" but it wasn't a yes either for at that moment up until this one right now, and maybe most of the ones after this, I'm still not ready to look in Darcy's general direction yet alone speak to him.

_**Phone calls…**_

_Friday, January 24_

"Well if it isn't my second favorite person in the world!" Eddie exclaimed into the phone as I call him this afternoon.

"Only second?" I asked.

"Sorry dear Erin's first."

I shrugged even though he couldn't see me. "Naturally."

"What can I do for you?" he asked sweetly.

"What are the chances that you could come watch a movie with me without bringing Erin?" I asked.

"Um that's going to be like a 99 no and maybe a 0.2 yes."

I laughed. "Eddie you realize that doesn't add to a hundred, right?"

He paused. "Well it does now. Listen you should come to dinner with us."

"'Us' as in you and Erin?"

"Yes that is currently the only 'us' I am apart of," he replied mockingly.

"No what about that lovely friend of yours?"

"Me and Darcy are in a bit of a fight at the moment," he replied but still made it sound lighthearted.

"Uh-oh trouble in paradise?"

"How cruel. Now you're coming to dinner whether you like it or not."

"I'm so not coming."

"We'll be at you house in ten minutes! You better be ready," he said then hung up before I could say no again.

He showed up at my door and practically dragged me out his car and shoved me in the back seat. I grudgingly sat there. "Lizzy say hi to Erin," he commanded as if I was four.

"'Lo Erin."

"Hi Lizzy," she said shakily.

"Ok so I know that neither of you is that mad at the other so you can both drop the whole wounded kitten act," Eddie said pulling out of my driveway.

Erin snorted really loudly and then accidentally farted.

Of course this led to us all cracking up until out heads almost fell off.

"Lovely isn't she?" Eddie pointed out smiling at Erin.

I rolled my eyes. "If you two start that up I'll jump out of this car even when it's moving."

Erin smiled. "The sad part is she would."

"Would not!" I replied mock-indignant. "I always wait until Darcy stops before I jump out."

Erin laughed.

"Well that's saying something I suppose," Eddie added still smiling.

And that's how it was just left. No more madness at Erin and no more working over 30 hours a week for me.

_**Goodbye January…**_

_Thursday, January 30_

It turns out I'm truly good at Chemistry. I should be a chemist. Make drugs and test them on people and all that fun stuff.

My first lab rat would definitely have to be Fitz.

"Lizzy I can't be your lab partner anymore," he said as I first walked into Chemistry today.

I stopped in my tracks. "What? Why?"

He shrugged. "You see I have my eye on this girl and she said she'll be my lab partner and you can have hers."

"You're just going to ditch me for some pretty girl?" I asked honestly hurt.

He sighed. "There's more to it than that but if that's how you'd like to put it…"

"Can I have permission to laugh at you when you don't graduate on time because you failed?" I asked scowling and trying to cover up my sense of abandonment.

"As much as your little body can handle," he replied smiling secretly.

I sighed and blew the hair out of my eyes. "Fine just go," I muttered.

"Don't worry you'll thank me later," he replied as I cast my eyes down to my paperwork and shuffled through the day's lab procedure.

About two minutes later I felt a towering presence over me and looked up only to find Will.

I quickly looked across the room to where Fitz and Janie were pretending not to be watching us and stood up from my lab stool in frustration. I didn't say a word, but I didn't complain either just started to work through the chemicals looking for the bottle of Silver nitrate and shoving a beaker in Darcy's direction.

He just looked at me blankly.

"Fill it with 50 milliliters," I said simply and he quickly rushed to the sink to fill it after he recovered from the shock of the whole circumstance.

That may have been all I said but it was enough for him to know that he wasn't written off completely. He asked me questions about other things he should do and I'd just nod or shake my head accordingly.

I let the door open back up because despite how much I try to protest or deny it Will really did seep through those little crack in my hard exterior to the point where I could never kick him back out. The worst part of it is that he made me like him. He made loose control, for the first time, over an entire part of me.

How could he not?

_Hey well that's that. I'm almost done. Not really almost but only about three maybe four chapters left._

_I liked how this one ended because Lizzy gave up so much just to confess that. It's a big thing for her. I also like how she only referred to him as Darcy when she was either upset or referring to him with Janie, otherwise he was Will. Just a little something I thought was cute. :)_

_You know what else I think is cute? Reviews._


	7. February of Luurve

_And I bet you thought I'd never update. It's a long story but I managed it finally._

_How could I ever forget poor ole Lizzy?

* * *

_

**_Red light, green light… _**

_Monday, February 3; post-coffee time. Is there any other?_

I have little to no faith left in the world any more.

I'm not even kidding. How can people just run around as completely horrible human beings and still look themselves in the mirror every night.

So there I am sitting in the mandatory post-school traffic and this big-bitch girl in her big-ass truck just decides that the laws of the road definitely don't apply to her as she jumps the median and drives on down the sidewalk to get past the rest of the student body. How come people can get away with shitty things like that? Is karma a complete joke?

Obviously, the joke's on me.

Despite the minimum amount of communication Darcy and I still managed to get an A on our lab which is apparently a big thing because Darcy decided he wanted to take me out for coffee to celebrate.

Of course I agreed because it's cold and I never turn down free coffee.

So he shows up at my house and I felt bad after leaving him in my kitchen with only Bridget for entertainment and I have to admit I was very relieved to find that even though I'd left him alone with her he, unlike some people I once knew, managed to not make out with her.

That's at least something that could be said in his favor… or possibly Bridget's.

"Can I confess that I was pretty psyched that you actually agreed to this little outing?" Darcy asked as I finally got out the door and tried to warm my hands from their horrible frostbite.

I pressed my fingers to his cheek and he squirmed for me to remove them. "They get really cold," I muttered grinning evilly.

"So that's it then? We just forget the fact that we haven't spoken to each other in a month and go back to being friends?" he asked examining me with his eyebrows raised.

I shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"I'm not going to complain," he said defensively, "but you have more personalities than I know what to do with."

"I know. Keeps you from getting bored, doesn't it?"

"Oh yeah."

"So are you buying this aforementioned coffee?" I asked blinking quickly and innocently.

"A promise is a promise."

"That's a silly phrase," I replied clearly. "A promise is really only a promise if it's kept."

"I suppose." He didn't take his eyes off the road but his profile seemed to be thinking about something else. "Have you been breaking a lot of promises lately?

"I don't make promises," I confessed casually. "Promises lead to expectations."

"I think you should know that people have expectations no matter what you do," he replied glancing at me quickly.

"This is true," I said in return, "but a promise is a consented expectation. If you make a promise excuses no longer matter. You can always just tell someone they had a wrong expectation, but with a promise you just signed your own death warrant."

He nodded as if he understood. "I get it. My mother expects me to take my father's role in the business but as long as I don't make the promise I can always just say that she expected wrong."

"Right. As soon as you promise you might as well pick your corner office."

"You have very low expectations of people Lizzy."

"And yet some still manage to never live up to them," I replied with out thinking but Darcy seemed somewhat hurt as if I was referring to him being a let down. "And others surpass them completely," I amended.

The rest of the afternoon passed in total civility and, even if I didn't want them to be, things are back to exactly how they were before I had my freak out.

It's not like I was expecting a change. Besides there's nothing I'd want to change any way.

Right?

I hate that I've become unsure. I was always positive and now I'm a "greater than or equal to" symbol. That stupid "equal to" crap. Always confusing very simple matters.

_**A Literally frozen "Ice-Queen"…**_

_Thursday, February 6; I wouldn't know what time because it's so cold I believe my watch has frozen_

It's rather cold which is ridiculous because it completely negates the entire reason people move to Florida.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE WARM!

Anyways it's definitely back to the norm with the Darcinator. He had the brilliant idea last night of going down to the beach to see how cold the water is.

The thing is I never got to see how cold the water is because I never removed a single layer to reveal even a sliver of skin because it was so cold.

Of course he took it to be his job to make fun of me after the whole way home just because I ended up hugging his heater after only five minutes outside.

So instead we spent most of the night watching John Stewart re-runs (we honestly got into a fight over John Stewart versus Stephen Colbert!) in his palace… I mean house.

Which is technically more of a palace. It's rather eerie how big it is.

They have twelve T.V.'s; most of which are bigger than my entire room.

In fact his house is so big that even though Jo was there we didn't run into her once. We couldn't find her. I need such a house for avoiding Bridgey. The stupid cow keeps moaning about how she hasn't kissed any one since New Years.

I maintain that I'm adopted.

_**Batter up…**_

_Monday, February 10; after practice… Darcy's not mine._

'Tis baseball season.

No I don't play baseball but apparently Darcy does. He's trying out and here I have to wait a full three hours until after he finishes practice just for him to stop by and take me out for ice cream, even though I'll just get hot chocolate to help warn my poor frostbitten hands.

I hate winter and I hate baseball season.

I don't see why he'd rather run around in the freezing cold with a silly bat and a glove than come play me in a game of battleship. I mean the board game… not some sort of sexual innuendo.

Grr you have a sick mind you naughty person.

I do NOT think of Darcy that way… even though Fitz makes fun of me almost everyday for it.

_Post hot chocolate time…_

Darcy finally showed and made up for making me wait by paying (even though I was planning on making him pay any way).

Conversation on the way to the TCBY was pretty standard, me asking questions about tryouts and trying to be supportive even though I secretly didn't want him to make it. Turns out he was on Varsity, which I didn't know (even though I did and just pretended I didn't) so he's not all that worried about the whole ordeal.

It was when we got to the place that things got kind of weird.

"So Whatcha doing Friday?" he asked casually scooping ice cream (in February… weirdo) into his mouth.

I shrugged and looked at him confused. "Friday?"

"What kind of girl are you?" he asked staring at me as if I was an alien. "No girl forgets Valentines day."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "You mean the fake holiday. I have a secret confession to make," I whispered leaning in conspiratorially, "girls secretly hate Valentines day."

"I have it on good authority that they don't."

"No they do I swear."

"Maybe single girls do…"

I looked at him slightly appalled. "Listen, if a girl is single obviously she spends the night moaning about her awesome state of singledom but if a girl is in a relationship then everything her guy does is that much less romantic because it's expected. It's mandatory so it means nothing."

"I don't get it," he said placing his empty cup on the table and leaning back in his flimsy chair.

"Okay say you have a girlfriend-"

"Oh what's her name?"

I looked at him condescendingly. "Oh shut up. She doesn't have a name."

"I refuse to date her if she doesn't have a name."

I smacked him on the shoulder across the table and spilled some of my hot choco on the table. "Shut up, it's a hypothetical. Ok so you have a girlfriend-"

"Named Angie?"

"Angie?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Just go with it."

"Okay so you're dating Angie and Valentines Day rolls around the corner. You're thereby force to send her flowers of a teddy bear or chocolates or whatever. But say it's just your average Thursday, you bring that girl a teddy bear and she'll love your forever. It's just not thoughtful on Valentines day."

He shrugged. "Okay then. So what are you doing Friday?" he leaned back forward again and put his elbow on the table.

"Well laying about and moaning about my singledom of course," I replied quickly taking another sip of the now warn hot chocolate.

"Well as fun as that sounds, you wanna hang out?"

I looked at him skeptically. "You sure you don't have a date lined up?"

He shrugged casually. "Nope."

"No one-on-one time with Angie?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm pretty sure she's cheating on me," he replied grinning.

I gasped and covered my mouth in mock horror. "How could she cheat on the great Will Darcy?"

"I know," he nodded solemnly, "this will seriously damage her reputation around school."

I looked at him suddenly seriously after I laughed for a second. "You sure you don't have plans with Janie or something?"

He shook his head and kind of winced. "I never liked Janie that way. She liked Fitz. Didn't you hear that they're together now?"

"As in dating?"

He nodded and started chewing on his spoon. "As in she's his Angie."

"Did not see that one coming," I replied slightly floored. "Where have I been?"

"Working and ignoring me, remember?"

I smiled. "Oh right… good times… _good_ times."

"Yeah," he paused, "not so much."

"So Friday? Yes or no?" he asked again and I wondered why he was so persistent about this Valentines Day thing.

"Sure we can share our mutual dateless-ness. Whatcha wanna do?" I asked draining my chocolate.

"Dinner?"

"Too crowded."

"Movie?"

"Seriously icky making out."

"Beach again?"

"Don't go there Willy-boy," I scowled feeling my hands tingle just from the memory.

"I got it," he smiled obviously having had a serious epiphany. "St. Augustine. They still have their holiday lights up."

I considered it. How did he know my secret love of St. Aug.? "It'll be cold outside though."

He shrugged. "We'll layer and walk a lot. I'm sure we can stay warm."

"Speak for yourself. I'm practically cold blooded."

"That's why you're beginning to look like a lizard."

I blushed and scowled, giving him a pathetic face. "The cold dries out my skin," I growled trying to keep my bottom lip from protruding and revealing any weakness.

He smiled. "I know. I was just kidding."

He grabbed his keys as I slid on my puffy ski jacket, my scarf, and fuzzy mittens as he laughed at me muttering about being only two seconds from the car.

"So I'll pick you up at seven?" he asked as we pulled into my driveway.

"It's a date… except not so much," I replied smiling as I pulled my hair out of my jacket and opened my door.

He smiled weakly as I jumped from the car. "You sure you'll make it back from practice by then."

He rolled his eyes and shifted into reverse. "It's dark by then. You can't practice in the dark."

So question: I didn't consent to an actual date with Darcy? Did I?

**_You don't think, do you...? _**

_Tuesday, February 11; according to Einstein time is relative… so what's it really matter what time it is?_

Interesting, although completely misguided, convo with Erin today on the phone:

Erin: "Whatcha doin' Friday?"

Me: "What's it matter?"

Erin: "Well Eddie and I came to the mutual understanding that if you weren't busy you should come watch movies with us so you're not all alone."

Me: "E, why on earth would I want to be your third wheel on any day, yet alone Valentines Day?"

Erin: "But I don't want you to be all alone."

Me: "Maybe I have plans."

Erin: "You do?"

Me: "I said maybe."

Erin: "So you don't?"

Me: "No I do."

Erin: "What! With who?"

Me: "Don't sound so shocked."

Erin: "Who is it?"

Me: "It's not a date per say."

Erin: "You have a non-date, Valentines date?"

Me: "It's just with Darcy."

Erin: "On Valentines day?"

Me: "Yes. Why do you say that like it's weird?"

Erin: (most likely shrugging on her line) "Nothing is 'just hanging out' on Valentines Day."

Me: "Says the girl who just asked me to hang out with her boyfriend and her on said day."

Erin: "I'm just saying it's obvious the boy likes you, and a boy who has confessed to liking you doesn't ask you to 'hang out' on Valentines Day for no reason."

Me: "So are you saying I consented to a date-date rather than a nondate-date?"

Erin: "I'm saying who knows what he expects of the night."

Me: "Valid theory except that Darce doesn't feel like that toward me any more."

Erin: "Oh he doesn't, does he?"

Me: "Yes."

Erin: "And you know this how?"

Me: "He's completely casual with me. He would have made a move on me if he still had feelings for me."

Erin: "Isn't that what you two fought about?"

Me: "No we fought because I'm an intense over reactor."

Erin: "Oh really? Are you sure it wasn't jealousy or repressed sexual tension?"

Me: (rolling my eyes) "It's not a date. Trust me on this. There were never any moves made and I honestly feel as though he doesn't like me any more."

Erin: "How do you know he wasn't planning that night to make his move?"

Me: "I'm not as socially retarded as you think."

Erin: "You're right. You're obviously even more so."

Me: "Ha. Funny."

Erin: "He's gonna make a move, take my word for it. But the real question is: are you secretly hoping he will?"

_**Tonight we hit the town…**_

_Thursday, February 14; too confused/dazed to check a clock_

I suppose I'll start at the beginning of the much anticipated (or possibly dreaded) night, shall I?

"What are we listening to?" Darcy asked me as I slipped my new CD into his player when I jumped in his car. (By the way he was late. It was 7:10. Let's just let the record show. Stupid baseball practice.)

"New CD my dad mailed me for Valentines day. Eric Clapton is the love of my life."

"Eric Clapton? Who knew your dad had taste?"

"How do you think he produced such a lovely daughter?" I asked back grinning.

"I think you severely overestimate yourself." He glanced at me real quick before he pulled out of my driveway. "What's in the box?"

I held up my slightly wonky looking box. "I figured I could at least be a polite non-date so I made you cookies. Try one," I supplied handing him a cookie.

He took a bite then tried not to visibly gag. "Oh… it's good."

I grinned evilly. "No it's not stop lying. I accidentally put lemon extract in them instead of vanilla extract."

"Great…"

"Didn't I ever tell you I'm a horrible cook? I've never been good at that kind of rubbish."

Darcy smiled and grabbed another cookie and honestly ate it.

"What are you doing?" I asked watching in minor horror.

He shrugged. "They're actually kind of good in a really unusual kind of way."

I scowled at him. "I've tasted them. I know that to be a lie."

"No I really kind of like them."

"Bridget cried after I made her try one," I supplied as he grabbed the box from my lap.

"Well I like them. Can I have the rest?"

I shoved the rest of the box at him as he put it on the back seat. "All yours."

We finally got to downtown St. Augustine and walked around mostly just looking at the lights. Eventually I reached my hand up and touched his cheek so he could feel their level of iciness.

"How do you get so cold so easily?" he asked quickly jumping from my touch as I giggled.

"You know it's funny because my whole family is always hot. It's just me that's so cold."

"Here," he said pulling off his glove and holding his hand out to me.

I just stared at his hand confused about what he wanted.

"Let me see your hand," he ordered.

I hesitated as I put my icy hand in his. "How come yours are so warm?" I asked grumpily as he rubbed my hand to warm it.

"Because I'm not the Ice Queen."

"Hah. Fun-ny."

He dropped my hand and grabbed the other one. "How is it even possible that you get this cold? It can't be healthy."

"It's cold out here."

"It's only in the 50s."

"That's cold," I muttered shivering.

"You're so sad," he muttered smiling and beginning to walk which caused me to have to walk too since he was still holding my hand.

"What's the point of living in Florida if it still gets cold?" I asked looking at him pointedly.

He switched to my other hand again to warm it back up. "It gets cold for a total of a month. We'll be back on the beach by March."

"Maybe you will psycho winter dude. I'll be wrapped in a wooly blanket next to a raging fire with a cup of hot chocolate."

He looked at me and smile. "Oh that sounds nice; maybe we should have done that tonight."

I glared. "No I like the lights."

He looked back at me smiling faintly. "So you're having fun despite the cold."

"I'm not _that_ cold."

"Says the girl with frozen hands."

"They're warmer now."

"That's good because yours seem to have made mine cold."

I smiled gratefully. "You're too good to me Will."

"I need a warm cup of something in my hands before they fall off," he replied rubbing his hands together to warm them back up.

"I'll pay."

"Honestly?"

"It's the least I can do for my little hand warmer," I said grinning back.

"I'm hardly little."

I smiled even bigger. "I was talking about my cup of coffee."

We were fairly reserved for most of out little escapade. We watched the old little couples giggle like teenagers in the little coffee shop and he laughed at me as I demonstrated my future profession as a dancer to the jazz music on the street.

All was well… perfect with zero awkwardness and zero moves being made that is until the car ride.

We were so close to being back at my house when he turns to me suddenly all nervous and fidgety. "Did you have fun tonight Lizzy?"

"Did I seem like I did?"

He shrugged. "One can never really tell for sure with you Lizzy."

I tried not to seem perplexed by his statement. "Well I did have fun. We always seem to have fun though, don't we?"

"We do, don't we?"

I nodded once.

"So would you possibly want to do it again?"

I looked at him for a moment trying to decide how I should interpret that question. "Well that might be difficult since Valentines only comes once a year."

"Well I mean we could hang out any time… like just because it's Thursday."

I leaned closer to him and whispered, "Will, we do hang out on Thursdays."

"That's my point."

"I'm obviously missing _your point."_

"My point is that we _hang out_."

I looked at him confused. "You don't want to hang out any more?"

"No I don't," he said as if that solved everything.

I looked at him slightly hurt, slightly confused. "So we'd stop talking again?"

He jumped. "What? No."

"Then what are you getting at?"

"I'm saying I don't want to be friends."

"Huh?"

He jumped again. "No I mean I don't want to be _just_ friends."

"You want to be…"

"More than that."

"Oh," I said slowly looking down at my once-again frozen hands and remembered how good it actually felt when he held them for me even if it was just for a moment.

"I know this sounds silly and probably cliché and I know you hate to be cliché but I like you no matter what I try. I really like to hang out with you. I even like that the guys on the baseball team make fun of me for how much I like you. I like that you cook horrible cookies and that you seem to have an opinion on everything as well as an answer to everything. I like that you can put me in my place with a single look and you don't put up with my bull shit."

I looked at him not really knowing what to think.

"All I really want to say is it's not because it's Valentines Day that I'm saying this; it's because you're the type of girl that great songs are written about. And because if I don't at lest put myself out there on this one, I'll regret it forever."

I bit my lip. The "type of girl that great songs are written about." How does a person say no to that? But he was also right about the clichés. In fact I believe at least half of the speech was from "When Harry Met Sally."

I looked at him with a wistful smile because no matter how much I wanted it, (which I can finally admit) I wasn't ready for him yet.

"Will," I said softly as we pulled into my driveway, "I like you too."

He smiled excitedly.

"But I'm not ready for a relationship yet. Do you get it? I'm a commitment-a-phoebe at a very young age and I need a little while to y'know come to terms with finally admitting that I like you."

He looked slightly confused but I didn't know how better to describe it for him. "Can I say that I'm just not ready and not be able to supply a solid reason?"

He nodded slowly still not saying anything.

"Will you know I really like you and I wouldn't go out with anyone but you, if I was to go out with anyone, but can we just be friends until something more develops? I promise that as soon as I'm ready it'll only be you."

He looked at me blankly. "I thought you didn't make promises."

I smiled slightly and leaned over to kiss him briefly on the lips. "For you I'll make an exception."

He still seemed to be in a bit of shock from the kiss as I slowly climbed from the car and closed the door. I ran back to the house with my hands shoved inside my pockets and the cold nipping at my heels.

Is it wrong for me to make him wait for me? Is it weird that I just turned down a guy I really, really like.

Is it wrong that I'm still thinking about his warm hands and really soft lips?

No. Any sane (or even slightly insane) girl would still be thinking about those too.

**_Psychobabble…_**

_Saturday, February 15; noon time lunchtime_

Eddie alert this morning.

"Movie?" he asked holding up a copy of _Wimbledon_ (the boy sure does have a thing for chick-flicks) and waving it in my face.

"Darcy send you?" I asked opening the door to let him through.

"After a rough explanation of the events of last night. Rejected him twice? 'Tis a tough thing for a guy's ego."

"He should know by now that I'm 100 ego free, and I didn't reject him. I just put it on pause."

He looked at me appraisingly. "He seems to have taken it as a rejection."

I scowled. "Then he obviously wasn't listening to me."

"Well I am. So explain."

I rolled my eyes and led him to my living room. "Okay here's the thing. I like Darcy. I mean I like _really_ like him, and for some reason that scares the bejesus out of me. Is that wrong?" I asked looking at him desperately hoping he could answer such a question.

"For you? No," he said relaxing into my couch.

I looked at him silently asking for clarification.

"Okay you've never felt about any one the way you do about Darcy and that scares you because you've never needed any one and you're scared you might develop a codependent relationship."

I looked at him oddly. "You watch far too many chick-flicks."

He cocked his head smiling. "I'm right aren't I?"

"Thus far. Keep going."

"Okay. You saw your mother get her heartbroken when you were a very young and impressionable child and ever since you've sworn that love only exists as a form of suffering. You think that if you don't fall in love then you won't need any one and therefore will never get hurt."

"That's kind of scary that you can do that."

He shrugged. "I have a twin sister."

"Jackie hardly counts as a girl."

He laughed for a second. "Oh yeah and you also hide behind your sarcasm and use witty replies as your defense system."

"You can stop now," I replied scowling.

He leaned forward ignoring me. "But here's the thing. You're so very wrong. By liking Will, even if you get hurt in the whole ordeal, you can only become stronger. If you can endure heartbreak then the rest of your life is a breeze. This won't break you down but merely reaffirm your own strength."

"'What won't kill me will only make me stronger?'"

He nodded once. "You don't have to need Will to be with him. You just have to want him."

I chuckled as a kind of sigh and leaned back against my sofa. "So are we watching this movie or what?"

Who knew that Eddie would turn out to be the most logical person I know.

_**Time Alone in Will's bedroom…**_

_Monday, February 17; post-dinner- Which means like 10:00 in my family_

I called Will when I knew he'd be home from practice.

"Hello Willy boy. How was practice?"

"Better now that it's over."

"Does that mean it was bad?" I asked.

"It means I don't believe I'll ever be capable of getting off my bed again. I'm that sore."

"Sweet because I just bought the new Dane Cook DVD and now I can come watch it with you! Did I just make your day?"

He groaned. "I hate Dane Cook."

"No one hates Dane Cook; they just don't really listen to him."

"I hate Dane Cook."

"Well too bad because I'm coming over with my DVD and you're too sore to get out of your bed and turn it off."

"I have a remote."

"I'm coming over and taking your batteries."

I showed up and made him watch it with me.

He laughed. I knew he secretly liked Dane Cook.

Every one likes Dane Cook.

_**Hmm…**_

_Friday, February 21; um a time… wait no _the_ time. It's FRIDAY!_

Only a week left in February. I love short months.

How is it honestly this close to March? Where's the time go?

Jo's got a new boyfriend. It was fun Will and I drove them on their first date tonight (to a movie how cliché is that) and watched a movie ourselves. It was fun I got to hit Will every time he tried to threaten the poor boy.

Other than that I've hardly seen Will all week because he's had baseball and they have their first game on Monday so he's all nervous about getting a starting position.

I honestly don't even pretend to understand his love of the boring bat game but I can relate to his competitive spirit.

I also think the world should know that I beat him in battleship. Apparently he's complete rubbish at board games. (I wouldn't know about those _other _kinds of games.)

Anyway I played with E yesterday and we watched some of the music videos we used to make during middle school. Now that's something that should be burned.

_**Diamond Dolls…**_

_Monday, February 24; time to be frustrated_

I went to Will's baseball game tonight. (He did start by the way. Short stop and a pretty damn hot one at that.)

Did you know that Baseball has even sluttier versions of cheerleaders called Diamond Dolls? I mean why don't they just hire some strippers? I'm wrapped up in like three blankets and their walking around in belly shirts. Whores.

We won the game though and even though I didn't understand it and spent the whole time asking Damien questions that he mostly responding to by pointing out another hot player.

So after the game Will's talking to the stupid "Diamond Doll" girls and they were even like touching his arm and stuff and he just stood there smiling as they giggled annoyingly. Did he not get that they were flirting with him?

I hate that I sound like a jealous girlfriend.

I'm not dating Will nor am I jealous.

Anyway the joke's on them because as soon as he broke free of the girls he came right over to me and Dames and put his arm around me. So what if I ducked away at the PDA. The boy was sweaty.

"I'm honestly surprised you came," he said smiling despite my ducking. See he's starting to get me already.

"Why do you think I'd miss your first game?"

He shrugged. "I just thought you might get really cold."

I smiled widely. "I brought three blankets!" I said holding up my stack as Damien eyed up our pitcher who is supposedly quite a looker.

Will laughed and threw his sports bag over his shoulder. "Wanna get some dinner?"

"Some place warm?"

He nodded.

"Dames coming?"

"Sure."

I honestly think Will's completely over that whole jealous episode from a month (possibly more… time goes really fast) ago because him and Damien got along pretty freaking well, which is a very new development.

I sat by Will and he put his hand (which was really warm still. How does he manage that?) on my hand under the table which sounds very corny but for some reason I found it really adorable… even though we're not dating.

What's going on with me? I think I should just jump him at the next possible moment.

_**Jo's delusional…**_

_Friday, February 28; lunch is the best class that there ever was. Will shared his fries with me and Erin told off Eddie in public. Got to love it._

So in dance Jo just turns to me and says: "So are you dating my brother or not?"

I looked at her slightly floored. "Not."

"But you want to?"

I nodded slowly.

"I'll ask no more questions except are you two making out in his room when I walk by and hear giggling?"

"No we're watching Dane Cook."

"So no making out?"

I nodded.

"You two and your suppressed sexual tension are killing me," she added shaking her head as if I was her baby sister.

* * *

_I know it's a bit odd... they should so be together. Next month is the last one and then it's just my epilogue. :)_

_Lucky me!_

_Oh I posted another story (a full and complete one) called The Untouchable._

_It's a weird story... :)_

_Heart+ review love forever!_


	8. Marchedness

_**Finally…**_

_Saturday, March 1; Like I've even looked at a clock. All I know is I just woke up._

GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT!

Ok I looove March.

Wanna know why?

C'mon guess.

Oh you big loser I suppose I'll just have to tell you. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN MARCH. (Oh and spring break! Woop!)

Yes I realize it's freakishly immature to still jump around my house just because my birthday is in 13 (count 'em baby. 13!) days. But I do. And I always will!

Ok all I wanted to say!

_**Oh God…**_

_Monday, March 3; Two days closer to my birthday time. Duh._

I honestly think Will is trying to torture me.

There I am just standing at my locker getting my books out before first period and he just walks up behind me and puts his hand really lightly across my elbow and gets really close to me.

Of course I turned around really quickly and my hair hit him across the face. Who'd have thought that really happens in real life.

"Well hello to you too," he just says grinning.

I only slightly panicked, and apologized profusely.

"It's fine Lizzy. I just wanted to say good morning," he said grinning still and handing me a little bag of Skittles then quickly smiling and leaving.

Either Will and Eddie have started studying chick-flicks to pick up moves, or something weird is going on.

How did he even know that Skittles were my favorite?

Gah. The boy's killing me.

_**What the heck…**_

_Tuesday, March 4; I have temporarily lost all senses. Including my sense of time._

He did it again.

Not the same thing. Different.

Ok I'll say it.

This time I was at my locker again and he comes up and places his hand really lightly on my hip. Even though it had happened yesterday I still jumped but luckily managed not to elbow him or something worse.

"Good morning Lizzy." He was grinning again just like yesterday and he turned me with the hand on my hip so I was facing him and basically almost pressed against him because he was standing so close to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked leaning my head an almost miniscule amount closer to him and speaking very softly.

"Just saying hello." He grinned again and shrugged a bit as I tried to step away from him and turn myself back around to my locker but apparently he still had his hand on my waist and he just spun me back towards him and stared at me.

"You're acting very weird," I muttered trying to lean back some.

He got really close to my ear and just softly muttered in my ear, "maybe," then disappeared just as he had yesterday.

How did a simple word being whispered in my ear tingle more than even the most passionate kiss?

God he was so close. So. Very. Close.

_Laterness, yet still dazedness._

Just called Will.

"Hello psycho," I said.

"Is that supposed to be me then?" he asked back as if nothing had happened this morning.

"Are you finally going all bipolar on me?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"And you say _I_ have multiple personalities."

"Lizzy," he sounded as if he was chastising me. Like I was the one who had done something wrong. "We'll talk later. I have homework."

I must admit my jaw dropped. "So now you're going to be a jackass, on top of trying to seduce me before first period, then acting like nothing's happened during Chemistry. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing," he responded flatly. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with me."

"So are you still going to try and phone ditch me?"

He softened. "There is nothing more I'd like to do than talk to you for hours but I really do have homework."

"Will…"

"I'll call you later," he muttered quickly, before I could say anything else, then he hung up.

I don't get it. Did I upset him somehow?

_**Literal Solitaire…**_

_Friday, March 7; alone-time._

What's wrong with me?

No I'm being serious do I have like some sort of flesh eating virus that I don't know about or something? Bad breath? Unknown bitchiness? (Don't answer that last one…)

It's Friday night and here I am all alone at my house and literally playing solitaire.

I have no friends and even if I did I push them away.

Gah.

Will's being moodier than a PMSing girl. He's not talking to me. He won't even talk to me to tell me why. I mean at least when I'm upset I make sure that people know it. He's just being very monosyllabic and abrupt- on the few occasions that he does choose to talk.

Just to illustrate let me say that I called him three times on Wednesday and he didn't answer once. Not once.

After that I stopped calling because my pride was hurt and now- even if he wasn't angry- I am.

Erin's been avoiding me also. I go to lunch and there's her and Eddie (no Darcy unless he recently became invisible) whispering like crazy and as soon as I sit down they shut up and Erin makes some excuse to leave. Eddie meanwhile asks me the dumbest most trivial questions and I can tell it's only because he too wants to leave but knows that'd be rude.

This has happened for the past three days.

So again I ask about the flesh eating virus. Any other suggestions?

The only human that seems to not be avoiding the living daylight out of me is Damien who keeps rattling on about college and I'm a bit sick of it because I can't wait to get out of this place but have absolutely no clue where I'm going.

Gah.

Fitz only has eyes for Janie so I can't call him.

God even my own sister seems to be too busy for me.

Someone should really tell me about the virus before my skin just falls off.

**_Companionship my ass…_**

_Saturday, March 8; dusk. I really like that word._

Not just one, but two (count 'em baby. Two!) visitors today.

One was not so good but the other couldn't have been any more perfect.

The first was whiney, cry baby, Will.

It was probably like 11 this morning and I was still asleep (I stayed up late last night talking to myself) so he just comes in and wakes me up. In a nice way, but still…

So he stands, doesn't even bother to sit, and says, "Lizzy I need to not talk to you for a couple of days."

I know. You're thinking, "What?!"

"What?" I was still dazed and honestly thought I was dreaming this.

"I need to not be around you." He was biting his lip, all nervous and such.

I sat up and stared at him for a second. "Do I have a flesh eating virus?"

He relaxed a little, as though I made a joke, but I was being perfectly serious. "Lizzy I just can't be around you."

"Why?"

"Because there's this thing I really want and you're… you're… a distraction." He said it slowly as if he was trying to choose his words wisely.

Obviously not wisely enough because I started to get angry.

"A distraction?"

He honestly had the nerve to nod.

"I'm pretty sure the 'distracting' took place by both parties," I replied biting my lip to keep from chewing him out.

He rolled his head around on his shoulders. "Lizzy you get to be angry at me all the time and I give you all the space you need and wait for you to cool down. Well now I need the space and, by rights of equality, you're required to give it to me."

"I believe you were just as much part of those arguments as I was. You could have apologized yourself," I pointed out while standing to meet him.

He waved his hand around. "That's different-"

I looked at him pointedly. "How?"

"Those are arguments. This is me saying I don't think I can maintain this type of relationship with you at the moment."

"What relationship? Obviously we're not even friends if you're saying you don't even want to talk to me anymore. Or better yet that you decided you didn't want to talk to me four days ago and are just now getting around to telling me?"

"Lizzy-"

"Will, you know what, thank you!" I yelled starting to get angry.

"What?" He seemed shocked. "For what?"

"For proving me right," I said pinching my lips together and staring coldly at him. "I knew in the beginning that you were a self-centered prick. I knew it but then I let you make me think you really were someone different; that maybe I was wrong. Now, now you're just showing that first impressions are correct."

"Excuse me?" he seemed angry. That scary quiet type of angry.

"No there's no excuse," I practically screeched. "You're the perfect example of why I push people away. You're no better than Jack."

His jaw dropped and clenched, along with his hands at his side, but instead of yelling, like a part of me was hoping he would do, he just breathed really heavily and left.

Good riddance.

I bet you think my second visitor was Eddie.

Just so you know it wasn't. For once Darcy didn't send his fucking stooge to come clean up his mess.

It was my dad. He's in town for my birthday and we played tennis with my mother and sister for basically the entire day which is the only reason I'm still not so angry that I couldn't manage to write this without breaking my pen.

I really was right about him, wasn't I?

Sucks, because this was really the first time that I'd hoped I wasn't.

_**Sigh…**_

_Monday, March 10; "When does depression hurt?" "All the time." –Fucking Commercials-_

I'm not excited anymore.

My birthday is in three days and I'm not excited anymore. In fact I wish it'd just go away.

I really don't have any friends. Like seriously, no one likes me.

I haven't even talked to anyone that isn't in my family since Jackass Will.

I even sat by myself at lunch today.

If I were anyone but myself this would be cause enough for a vicious cycle of drugs, alcohol, and rehab. Unfortunately I'm me and I don't even have enough money to buy a bottle of aspirin yet alone drugs. And in order to buy the drugs I'd have to talk to people which no one seems to want me to do.

I think my voice has literally dried up.

No really I've noticed my voice being a bit strained when I sing… although it has been like that since puberty. (Damn you puberty.)

Anyway, is it at all possible to admit yourself into a mental hospital?

_**Happy Birthday to me…**_

_Thursday, March 13; post-presents!!_

So seeing as I have zero friends it seems perfectably reasonable to assume that my birthday hardcore sucked.

But it turns out I do have friends. Lots of them!

Erin basically rocks and was so busy because she was setting up this whole big party thing for me. She was avoiding me because she thought she'd spill the secret.

It was great. I was just sitting around at home and she called me to come over so she could apologize for being such a distant bitch.

It was fun we played twister and there were more people there than I even knew and possibly one not there that I do. Or did. Or possibly thought I did.

But it was great. Eddie and I pushed Erin in the pool and we danced all old school with the cha-cha slide and Macarena and all those completely ridiculous activities you haven't done since fourth grade. Which is exactly the way the world was meant to be.

But when everyone was gone, and Erin was passed out on the couch, Eddie took this to be a perfect time to discuss his Major Jerkiness.

"Will didn't come," he just stated as if I hadn't noticed.

I shrugged. "Really? I hadn't noticed."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "So funny I forgot to laugh." Keeping with the theme, Eddie managed a phrase I haven't heard since fourth grade. "Listen Lizzy he's only-"

"Yeah. I don't care. Will can do whatever he wants it really doesn't concern me."

"He's only trying to get over you-"

"Eddie just stop!" I stood and started grabbing my things and slipping my sandals back on. "Don't make excuses for him. If getting over me is what he wanted, I hope he accomplished it because he managed to make it really easy for me to get over him."

"He just wants-"

"Will can want whatever it is he wants because I just want to pretend it never happened. So don't even try to make his defense." I tried to ignore Eddie as I shook Erin awake to say good bye and thanks.

Eddie however just met me at the door. "Trust me I didn't defend him when I talked to him."

I smiled at him. "It doesn't matter anyway," I said softly while grabbing the corner of the door and pulling it closed slowly behind me. "I'm becoming a nun anyway," I added right before the door shut.

Anyway. It was a very happy birthday.

It doesn't matter that Will wasn't there because I didn't want him to come.

Trust breaks faster than glass. Feelings never seem to want to go away.

_**Avoidance…**_

_Friday, March 14; 6:25 p.m. (Like I'd actually be up that early if it was the morning!)_

Why does it seem as though whenever there's someone you would really just love to spend the rest of your life without seeing ever again they suddenly start appearing everywhere.

When Will (asshole) and I (serious past tense) _were_ friends I could never seem to find him when I wanted him around. (Especially at the end of it all) But back before Will told me all that stuff (lies.) and we became (fake) friends it seemed as though I couldn't avoid him even if I wanted to. He was everywhere.

He's everywhere again.

At least I managed to ditch him as my Chem. partner.

Grr.

He's also doing this new thing with his hair, (not that I noticed) and now it just seems to stick at all angles as if he really doesn't care what the hell it looks like, which is ridiculous because normally he keeps it in a very organized spiky thing.

It's just so horrible that I like it better the way he wears it now.

While I'm just trying to forget it all he has to go and make it that much harder to take my eyes away.

Anyway. Must go baby-sit.

_Like 11:something._

I want to scream.

So I babysat this little girl that's so adorable and of course like every child at her age she's obsessed with Disney movies.

We watched Mulan, and Sleeping Beauty, and Hercules, and basically by the time we got to Cinderella I just wanted to scream.

"Someday my Prince will come" my ass.

Even if he does come he'll probably turn out to be a jerk that likes to look at his reflection more than you. He'll actually dump you for a girl with bigger boobs and longer legs then prance about with her on his arm (while simultaneously staring at his own reflection).

I hate that we raise children on lies. I could never have kids because they'd be pessimistic bastards who hate the world and blame their problems on rich people.

Which, while I'm on it, could very well be blamed for Darcy being a jerk.

Like my good (and very musical) friends Tegan and Sara say: "Where does the good go?"

_**Break ups…**_

_Sunday, March 16; pre-bed/post-dinner_

Mass hysteria. Rioting in the street. A plague on both your houses.

Yes the worst has occurred.

My mother's boyfriend broke up with her. _He_ broke up with _her_.

The end of the world as we know it.

So I get home from the gym and she's crying in her bedroom with Bridget trying to console her. Now first things first, my mother is never home on Saturdays. It's her day out (as well as Fridays, Saturdays, and Mondays through Fridays) and that means I get the house to myself (plus Bridge, but she stays in her room on the phone).

I go in and immediately hear, "He was an ass hole anyway."

"Excuse me?" I ask plopping down beside them on my mother's bed.

"Mike ended things," Bridge whispered to me and my mom immediately started crying harder.

"Mark! His name is Mark!"

I shrugged. "Pa-tate-toe, Pa-tat-toe."

"There's a difference Lizzy, Mark was the man I spent almost every day of the last four months with while Mike is someone I've never known," she sobbed like a 12 year old girl.

I stared at her worriedly then replied in an overly passive tone, "So? I just spent the last four months of my life with Will Darcy who turns out to be the same self-centered pick I tried to tell everyone he was."

Bridget gasped like the true drama queen she is. I mean honestly who gasps at the mere mention of a person's name. "Don't say that! Will's perfect."

It took every ounce of my energy to remind myself not to slap her. "Like you'd know a perfect guy if he came and sat on your lap."

"Mark was perfect," my mother sobbed.

"I _so_ would," Bridget immediately jumped to the defensive. "Darcy _is_ perfect."

"Correction, '_was._' he was perfect because that's what I made him to be in my mind but there is no perfect guy," I said surprisingly calmly.

"Except Mark," my mother interjected.

"Oh stop being such a guarded cow. Maybe if you'd ever just admitted to liking him in the first place he wouldn't have gone all distant on you," Bridget said condescendingly.

"Mark was distant in the end," mom moaned falling back into her pillows and sniffling.

"Had I done that, he only would have hurt me more. If I'd ever let him in… as it turns out, I was right in assuming he would have just ripped me to pieces!" I replied eyeing her as if she was an idiot. (Actual idiocy is still being debated.)

Bridget rolled her eyes. "Oh just admit it Lizzy," she muttered audibly while climbing across my mom's bed to the door, "you're hurting without him anyway."

"Am not."

She stopped at the door and rolled her eyes again. "Puh-_lease_. Why don't you just admit how much you're hurting without him and give it a good cry because we're all tired of this whole obnoxious anger thing." Then she slammed the door and left.

I sat on the bed a bit stunned until I felt my mother's hand touch my arm and I automatically jumped back.

"Lizzy?" she asked pulling herself up onto her butt to meet my eyes. "I know it may seem like what happened with me and Mark is pretty terrible to you, but I have no regrets."

I looked at her skeptically. "You're curled into a ball on your bed crying and you still think that Mark was the right guy for you?"

She grunted in a sort of chuckle. "Ok, I _never_ thought Mark was the right guy for me, but I have no regrets because at least now I know that for sure instead of spending a big portion of my life playing the 'What if…' game."

I watched her still not so sure what she was getting at.

"At least I tried sweetheart. Now I'm not saying Will is perfect but who knows? Maybe you'll have some fun while it lasts," she said watching me carefully and again attempting to touch my arm. This time I didn't jump.

"Who's to say that's true?" It was a futile attempt on my part to protest such reasoning.

She smiled and tilted her head in that compassionate motherly type of way. "Sweetie you may know a lot more things than me about most topics, but relationships? Relationships are my topic." She smiled again and rubbed my arm sweetly. "Take for instance one of your favorite classic CD's. Pick one."

I shrugged. "Umm… Bob Marley."

"Your Bob Marley CD is like your relationship with Will. It's kind of a new style, something you're not as familiar with but you love it anyway. Now if you'd never heard that CD would you still love some of your modern bands as much?"

"So Will is like a Bob Marley CD? I should try him out so I know what it's like for later?" I asked with a single raised eyebrow and a confused face-scrunch. "That seems like I'd be using him. Which would make me no better than him."

"Ok, try this: would you throw away that CD just because someday it might get broken? Wouldn't you have rather played it for everything it was worth first? Then when that CD finally breaks at least you still have the tune stuck in your head. Memories are the only things guys can't take from you."

I shot her a blank face. "Yes but they can make you question them."

She smiled at me sadly. "I know Will hurt you baby and I'm not saying what he did was forgivable, because I don't even know what he did. I'm just saying for next time… not everything in this world is bad. I may have set a bad example for you in that area but some things should be held onto forever."

I hesitated before my next question and gave a kind of pre-emptive wince. "But you and dad…?"

"You're father and I could live without each other. We didn't need each other so there was no reason to keep up the appearances that we even still wanted to be together. So, yes. I left. But I wouldn't have traded it for the world."

"But you wasted..."

"Wasted?" She shook her head viciously. "I didn't waste anything. Your father may not have been the love of my life, nor me his, but through him I got you and Bridget who really are the loves of my life."

I rolled my head around and tried to press the stinging sensation from my eyes but eventually I did give in and right there in my mother's bed I cried on her shoulder, about Will and (finally) my parent's divorce. Just like any normal kid would do.

Don't you hate it when you totally underestimate someone?

She was right, y'know. I wouldn't have even loved my O.A.R. CD as much had I never heard Bob Marley. Maybe someday I'll finally appreciate what a good guy can mean.

Will may not have proven me wrong but my mother sure as hell did.

_**Turtle…**_

_Wednesday, March 19; 8:41 a real no jokes time baby!_

Um is it possible that the glass is half full?

Is it weird that when anything could turn into something else I feel that much more compelled to let it take me?

It's like I fell into a lazy river at a water park and plan to spend the rest of the day literally "going with the flow" but on a more cosmic level.

What happens, happens. It's really not that big of a deal.



_**I'm suspended…**_

_Thursday, March 20; um when something insane happens time should no longer matter_

Remember my theory about bumping into people? You know the one where if you do want to find someone they're no where to be found and if you don't they're right in front of you.

Turns out said rule applies to Jack.

I quite literally bumped into him and we were both crouched on the ground in the hall frantically picking up our stuff. He just stands once he'd finished and grins at me.

"Long time no see Lizzy," he says in a way that would have been charming had I not caught him making out with my sister once upon a time.

I shrugged and tried not to show visual repulsion.

"Still upset about that whole thing with your sister?" He rolled his eyes and looked somewhat disgusted. "You always were such a drama queen."

I turned and tried not to smack him. "You have no right to call me anything, you perverse little creep. You made out with my sister and you probably don't even remember her name."

He shrugged and grinned cockily. How could I have ever found him to be cute? "It's hard to keep track of all the girls that throw themselves at me."

My lip curled into a disgusted snarl as I shoved him and tried to walk away along with the rest of the student body as the class bell rang. "You're disgusting."

He roughly grabbed my arm as I tried to get down the hall and pushed me roughly against the wall. "What running off to your precious Willy-boy?" he asked disgustingly.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me," I commanded sharply, trying to shove him away.

"I'll do what I want." He then got really close to my ear and I suddenly realized the halls were deserted along with the ringing of the class bell. "You always were a big tease Lizzy," he whispered and I pushed him as hard as I could.

He wavered just enough for me to shove my knee right into his groin and he immediately peeled off the wall clutching his favorite anatomy in pain.

"Bitch!" he shouted but as soon as the word left his mouth he was grabbed by a tall guy in a letterman jacket.

"Don't _ever_ call Lizzy that," he growled and shoved Jack up against the parallel wall to where I'd collapsed, holding him tightly around the collar. "She's amazing and perfect which is a concept your slimy little ass can't even grasp," the guy shouted in a way that was immediately recognizable to me. "Not only do you never deserve to touch her you-"

"Mr. Darcy!" a woman's voice shouted from down the hall and Will released Jack making sure to slam him enough that Jack would collapse onto the floor. "What on earth were you doing to this young man?" the woman asked indignantly and I recognized her as our old Humanities teacher.

Will clenched his jaw and hand by his side like I'd seen him do so many times when I'd make him angry. During those times I'd never been scared of Will but in that moment he just seemed so ferociously intense.

"Mr. Darcy I asked you a question," she growled harshly.

Will took a deep breath and pointed to where I was curled on the ground. "Lizzy probably needs to go see the nurse," he said softly.

She pierced her lips. "That may very well be Mr. Darcy but _you_ need to go see the dean." She pointed strictly down the hall and stomped her feet.

Will took another breath and with the intake of air his shoulders fell and he shuffled down the hall to the deans.

First she came over to me and placed her arm on my shoulder. "Miss Morgan are you okay?"

I looked from Will's retreating back and into her eyes then nodded slowly. "I don't need to see the nurse," I muttered then stood up. "I just need to talk to Mrs. Hertz."

She nodded once, with compassion that five seconds ago she was completely devoid of, and I followed Will's path to the administration wing. The entire walk to my aunt's office felt unreal. As if I was floating through a dream and nothing had happened.

By the time I got to her office I was numb as I waited in the hall for her to finish with whoever she was speaking with and then quickly jumped into her office as soon as her visitor left.

I hastily closed the door and turned to her. With the simplest phrase of, "Lizzy? To what do I owe the pleasure?" I burst into tears.

Before this week I'd barely cried, now I'm a freaking sprinkler system.

My Aunt quickly rushed across her office and wrapped me into a huge hug. "What is it Lizzy?" she prodded gently leading me over to her small sofa in the corner.

"You're a guidance counselor. I need counseling," I finally managed to get out between big sobs.

"Ok sweetheart. You have to tell me what happened first though dear," she said gently rubbing my back just like my mother had done to my arm.

"Mr. Hertz-" I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat trying to regain my composure. "He has the wrong guy and I need-" I choked. "I need you to talk to him."

"Ok, ok," she slowly untangled herself from my grasp and picked up her phone. "John," I heard her say into her phone. "Do you have a student in your office?"

She paused for a moment as he replied, but I couldn't hear him.

"Will Darcy?" she asked shooting me a quick look and trying to not sound as shocked as she was. I nodded and my eyes began to leak again. (I call it the water-flood complex. Once emotions are released they just don't stop. When it rains it pours.) Mrs. Hertz noticed this and turned to the wall as if she couldn't watch.

"Well I think, before you do anything you should come to my office," she replied into the phone all business. "No. Now!" she added sternly obviously ending all of his protests as he banged on the door a few seconds later.

"What is so important that you pulled me out of a disciplinarian meeting with a student _and_ a teacher?" he asked sternly entering the room without even noticing me on the sofa behind the door.

My aunt jerked her head toward me and he spun around then jumped a little when he noticed the state I was in. "Lizzy-"

I quickly stood and tried not to cry again. "Uncle John! It wasn't Darcy! He was helping get Jack off me!" I was begging in panic.

"Off you?" he asked slowly and I could see him swallow.

I nodded. "Jack had pressed me against the wall in the hall and Darcy came over to help me! He didn't do anything." I couldn't get rid of my panicked toned and a couple more tears slipped down my cheek as I sniffled.

"Lizzy…" My aunt rushed over to me and grabbed my hand to help settle me back onto the sofa as I curled into her chest and lost myself in tears. "You heard her John," I heard her say over my head.

I didn't pull my face from her shirt as I heard Uncle John say, "I'll go find Jack then," and the door close behind him.

_**Post-drama…**_

_Friday, March 21; lunchtime. In my aunts office._

I've spent most of the day in my Aunt's office because she pulled some strings to get me an exempt pass from classes to help her with a "serious paperwork emergency" before spring break.

Basically the only time today I've been caught dead in the hall was this morning, when I was getting a couple of books out of my locker to keep up with my work, when who should appear but Darcy.

I was holding like six books and leaning against my locker when he walked up to me and smiled weakly.

"Your uncle told me that you got me off the hook," he said slowly while watching me very closely.

I shrugged and tried not to meet his eyes. I hated feeling weak and vulnerable. "I just told them the truth."

He took about a half step closer to me while I watched his shoes shuffle awkwardly. "But you didn't have to. I did pin him against the wall and such. Technically I broke rules."

I looked up at him with a blank face. "But you did it to help me."

He shrugged and locked into my eyes. "You took pretty good care of yourself. I just ended it for you."

I bit my bottom lip. "Thank you for being there."

"It was just a coincidence."

I closed the three steps between us and quickly brushed my lips across his cheek. "I don't want to fight anymore Will," I whispered wrapping my hands around his writs.

He adjusted his hands so that his fingers laced with mine and smiled pretty fully. "But fighting is what keeps it interesting Lizzy. It's what we do best," he murmured then walked me to the office.

_**Aaaand break! Spring break that is…**_

_Sunday, March 23; Post-hibernation_

I've seriously been sleeping since I got out of school on Friday. And that's why Spring Break rocks!

Rip Van Wrinkle better look out.

Anyway for the few moments (meals and to watch a couple of Episodes of Grey's Anatomy at Erin's house) that I was awake I managed to make plans for the rest of the week.

Bridgey and I are going to stay at my dad's house on the beach for the week!

Beach. Nice warm beach. I so missed it.

God, I love Florida.

As foreign of a thought this is I almost wish my mother would take the week off of work and come with us because it's been so long since we've done like "family stuff" but she says she can't. 

Erin has to work all week but she said she will come down for Thursday and Friday and we'll build our annual sandcastle.

Psyched?

Good me too!

_**Coincidence...?**_

_Tuesday, March 25; I have a sunburn time_

So there I am sitting on the beach in one of my father's ginormous t-shirts (with a hat and sunglasses and any other object I could think of to keep the sun off my skin because on only my second day on the shores I was redder than a lobster.) and my hand stock in one of those giant cartons of Goldfish crackers, trying to get a couple from the bottom, when who should appear but Mr. Darcy! (Seriously that not meeting people thing is true. I should publish my findings.)

"Er Lizzy what are you doing?"

I was honestly very surprised he recognized me in that get up. So much for going incognito.

"Will! What are you doing here?" I asked standing up and pulling off all my sun accessories. He immediately laughed when he saw my deep red tint.

I could honestly put Mr. Cool-aid to shame. ("Oh yeah! Oh yeah!")

"I'm staying at the beach place for break- er do you need some help with that?" he asked laughing again and gesturing to the Goldfish box that was still stuck around my hand.

"No," I replied shaking my hand to get it off but the thing really was stuck. They never did that when I was younger. Eventually Will managed to stop laughing, at my futile attempts at operation: hand extrication, enough to grab the box and tell me to pull.

After my hand was finally freed from its cardboard prison I turned back to Will. "So why are you here?"

He smiled and sat beside me on the towel and I couldn't help but notice the sublime view of him in all his shirtless-ness, as he wrapped his (bare) arms around his bent legs. "Georgie begged me to take her to the beach for the week."

I smiled and bumped into his arm with my shoulder. "And you're such a big old softy that you just had to give in?"

He smiled. "Maybe I had my own motives in wanting to stay."

I looked at him with that eyebrow expression people always wear when they ask a question. "What was that then?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I just happen to remember that there was this cool chick whose father had a house nearby," he smiled and finally turned his head to look at me. "I was just hoping she might have come for spring break."

I mirrored his sitting position (except I had a shirt on) and pulled my own arms around my legs then looked at him. "And did you find her?"

He turned his head back so he was facing straight ahead but I could still see his smile. "Want to go for a walk with me?"

I shrugged and he stood. After leaving a quick note in the sand for Bridget (so she wouldn't freak out when she saw me gone when she got out of the water) and walked down the beach (after I put back on my baseball cap. I was freakishly burned man.).

Now I've spent plenty of time alone with Will (Hell I've even spent time alone with Will while we were both in his bed) but for some reason this whole walk was torturous. Every time our hands would brush together my skin would burn and my mind kept wondering of images of us just suddenly making out in the sand.

I began to understand how the last few months had finally driven Will to the brink of insanity.

Now that I wanted this so much and had absolutely no reason to object every single miniscule little touch was so much more important because every single miniscule little touch could (and hopefully at one point will) lead to something more than just a miniscule little touch.

Oh how I hoped it would have. I still hope it will and I'm watching TV at my dad's with Bridget at the moment. My stomach jumps just thinking that maybe it's ever so slightly possible that he might just come through the door and kiss me.

Then I have to remind myself that he doesn't even know where this house is.

Oh why was I such an idiot and never took the opportunity when it knocked at my doorstep?

Stupid Lizzy for giving Will space to get over me.

Turns out all that "space" did was get me under him.

Oh the shirtless-ness will last in my mind forever.

If he still has any feelings (friends or more) for me he'll come and find me again tomorrow.

_**So there is a God…**_

_Wednesday, March 26; do they even keep time in heaven?_

AHHHHHHH!

No, no you can't know yet.

Shut up I won't tell. It's a story and I must start at the beginning so stop begging for the ending.

Trust me it's worth the wait.

First of course Will, being the amazing and oh so proved me wrong, guy that he is showed up on the beach with Jo in tow.

"Hey Lizzy," she says all excited then goes and sets up her towel by Bridget who woke up from her snoring slumber and immediately started screeching at the sight of Jo.

I had re-emerged from my anti-sun bubble again today and decided to screw the whole skin cancer thing and was just laying there when I felt Will's shadow cast over me.

I opened my eyes and he held out a hand to me. "Let's go swimming," he said and I grabbed the hand as he pulled me up.

I don't ever feel self conscience but I don't normally hang out with guys at the beach either. Anyway I felt awkward until I got into the water (which was cold. Nay freezing) and started jumping around like the true fish I was.

The current was strong so it took most of our energy to keep fighting the water and stay in line with our stuff on the shore but I also managed to beat him seven times out of ten in our body surfing contest. Eventually he started to get too competitive and would hold my ankles to keep me from catching my wave.

H e said I won ice cream so once I got pruny and we dug a whole and dropped Georgie in it we split back our separate ways (him leaving with directions to my dad's) to go put on real clothes for a casual dinner at Pem's Pizza.

They picked us up and we hit Pem's and everything was completely amazing. We pulled into our driveway after ward and Jo went all stiff and very awkwardly said as if she were a robot, "Bridget. Why don't you show me the outfit you're wearing tomorrow."

Bridget turned to her looking all confused. "I'm planning on never taking off my bathing suit tomorrow."

Obviously Jo was getting at something I (nor Bridget apparently) wasn't catching but she cast Will a desperate stare and tried again. "Er. Well then why don't you show me the bathing suit you're wearing tomorrow."

Bridge looked confused again which is rather sad because as Jo cast Will another pleading look even I caught on and smiled. "But I only have one bathing- OH!" She practically shouting finally catching on and amending just as robotically as Jo had, "Why yes Jo that idea sounds lovely."

I laughed as they got out of the back seat of the car. Apparently according to Bridget people who are trying to be subtle talk with British accents.

"Well Will wasn't that a bit odd," I said turning in my seat to face him and mocking Bridget's accent.

Will blushed and tried to cover his face by putting his hand over his forehead. "I'm really sorry Lizzy," he muttered from behind his hand and he slid it down from his forehead to rub his eyes.

I gave a single chuckle. "Are you kidding me? That was the funniest thing I've ever seen- Oh!" I too am a lot like Bridget that I never notice anything. "Will did you tell Georgie to leave us?"

Will pulled his other hand up to his eyes and ground his palms into his sockets.

This time I chuckled more than once.

He dropped his palms and looked at me blinking to clear his eyes which had turned red from the pressure he'd put on them.

I suddenly stopped because he seemed so serious.

"Lizzy if you still think I'm horrible for having been such a jerk to you or if you- if you just want to be friends again," he said turning away from me and resting his forearms on the steering wheel as he moved his hands around wildly and continued, "and if you can't forgive me for being no better than Jack and not understanding-"

And yes that was when I finally pulled myself up onto my arm that I shoved on top on the center console and shut him up.

Yep I kissed him. I kissed him real good. (No honestly like really, really good.) And continued to do so for what felt like hours. (Or quite possibly days.)

When we finally couldn't breathe anymore and the windshield was steamed up (by the way "Steam up a car windshield" can officially be crossed off my things to do list.) we both went up the stairs to my dad's apartment (he tailed behind me but held firmly onto my hand, giggling all the way) where we spent basically the remainder of the night watching Cinderella Man while Jo and Bridgey giggled the night away in her room.

He just left but five minutes ago (with a simple good bye peck and a face splitting smile) and I'm still smiling like an idiot.

Serious serotonin overload.

_**Blissful…**_

_Thursday, March 27; happy people have no need for watches. But technically the sun is rising so that should very well make it Friday_

Today was great.

Played with Erin (after spending about half an hour giving her a very in-depth description of last night).

Played with Will.

Eventually Eddie showed up and he played some too.

Played at Will's Beach house (I call it the Sand Castle) and when it got dark and our other four companions fell asleep on all of Will's four (honestly four's a lot) sofas, he and I both snuck out and wondered down the beach by the glow of my iPod.

It wasn't as awkward as last time, due to a lack of repressed sexual tension, and this time when we bumped arms (even though we were clasped by the hands. Greatness that mine our clammy and his slightly dry so as to balance out) we would just bump then kiss until we both started doing this on purpose just to have an excuse to kiss each other.

We wondered down the beach in a conversation of complete mundane, blissful randomness that went something to this effect.

Me: "So does this mean we're officially together."

Will: (nodding) "God I hope so."

Me: "Me too."

(Bump, then giggle, then kisses again.)

Me: "We should have a song."

Will: (iPod scrolling noise) "I know just the one."

(The freak played "Kissing the Lipless" by The Shins and I hit him then grabbed the iPod.)

Me: "This one?"

Will: "No Disney songs as our song."

Me: "But it's 'Kiss the Girl!' By the crab Will. The crab!"

Will: (grabbing the iPod back) "'Wonderful Tonight?'"

Me: "Too cliché."

Will: "'Love is Hell?'"

Me: "Oh thanks." (More punching.)

Will: "Ouch. How about 'Jumper.'"

Me: "I guess you'd have to be suicidal to go out with me."

Will: "Here it should be 'Fortunate Fool.'"

Me: "You'd have to be the fool."

(I grabbed the iPod back again.)

Me: "I'm freakishly brilliant."

Will: "Now let's not tell lies Lizzy."

(More Punching. Then a quick kiss.)

Me: "Just listen you idiot."

That's when I put on "Sparks" by Coldplay. Good choice?

I think so and so does Will so what do we care if you don't.

What can I say? "I saw sparks."

_**El Final…**_

_Monday, March 31; the final time for this is the final page._

Today was the last day of school in March.

A very simple day where nothing unusual happened. I was just standing at my locker at the end of the day and Will walks up to me and kisses my cheek.

"I have a very important question to ask you," I said as he kissed my cheek again then my lips really softly and briefly.

"Go for it," he whispered against my skin as he pressed me against my locker (deserted hallway did I mention? No I'm not _that_ girl. But I've found myself doing a lot of things I'd never really thought) and kissed my neck really softly.

"I just wanted to know if you want to be my lab partner again." I asked sweetly as he pulled his head back but kept me pinned.

"Oh heck no. Bad things happen when we become lab partners," he smiled and pulled me from the locker by my hand.

Five steps later and we hear, "Will?"

It was Jackilyn. She rushed up to us all flustered and such. "Oh God I hoped it wasn't true," she moaned staring at our hands.

"What?" Will asked all confused.

"I can't believe _you'd _date _her_," she practically groaned.

Will shook his head and blew air out of his mouth.

"Jackie you're ridiculous," he muttered then pulled me by our hands right around her as she yelled reputation threats down the hall. Each one missed their target and soared right past us as we eventually reached his car and he drove me home, my country music blaring all the way.

* * *

Done!

Done!

Done!

Done!

Done!

Done!

Enjoy!


	9. An Epilogue of Sorts

And here you thought it was over...

* * *

An Epilogue of Sorts.

_Hey Will. I failed that test._

_**It's what you get for not studying last night.**_

_Oh shut up. You didn't seem to protest too much._

_**You do provide a very good distraction Lizzy.**_

_What can I say? You just make it all so easy._

_**Did you really fail or are you just being dramatic?**_

_I really failed. I mean it was dumb of her to think that we'd honestly do well on a test when everyone's already made their college commitments and at this point grades are just for protocol. Senioritis is a serious disease and I have it._

_**Lizzy you've been saying that since you were a junior.**_

_Hells! I've been saying it since freshman year._

_**Did you just say "hells?"  
**_

_Why yes I did. Does that bother you Mr. High and Mighty?_

_**If I answered that I know that you'd only continue to do it just to annoy me.**_

_Hells yeah._

_**You're incorrigible. **_

_Will, I taught you that word so don't you even try to use it against me._

_**We should go out tonight and celebrate the end of the end.**_

_You talk as if the world is over when really only high school is._

_**So you commonly talk as if I'm the worst thing in your life when I'm actually the best.**_

_You overestimate my views of you. We should just go to your palace and watch a movie._

_**I'll agree to that only because I know that "watch a movie" is really only your code for "see how long we can make-out without suffocating."**_

_I love it when you try to tell jokes because you're so horribly bad at it. Have I taught you nothing in our time together?_

_**Well you did teach me that one thing which I feel will get me farther in life than any semblance of wit.**_

_And yet you still make feeble attempts at "wit." By the way, leave it to you to sleep your way to the top Will. Slacker._

_**When you said movie did you mean movie or…**_

_Yes I meant we're watching more episodes of Scrubs and will continue to do so until you make at least one successful joke._

_**Don't you find it at all odd that we can't agree on anything and still managed to get voted "Cutest Couple"?**_

_It's a popularity contest. (Which means I basically won it for us.) Plus people mistake our arguing as cute little love banter._

_**If they only knew the truth…**_

_Yes if they knew the truth maybe they'd understand why "Lizzy's amazing boyfriend" is ditching her to go to a completely separate continent for school._

_**Oh god not this again. I'm going to England to "follow in my father's footsteps" and "uphold the family honor." Don't you think I owe my dead Dad at least that much?**_

_Don't you think you owe me more than that for putting up with you all the time? P.S. spare me the pity party. You don't even remember your father's name._

_**If I'm so annoying why are you still upset that I'm going so far away?**_

_Grr. Yes I am literally growling. (Or at least within my head I am.)_

**_Oh stop your yapping (or shall I say barking?). You're just as guilty in this "great divide." UCLA is pretty damn far away y'know._**

_Which really only adds to the flight time if either of us ever scrapes together enough money (are you supposed to be like a million?) to buy a plane ticket to wherever the other may be. By the way that barking thing only sets you back for the whole joke thing. Barking? I mean you have to be kidding me. Simple puns are beneath you._

_**That's it I'm breaking up with you.**_

_You jerk. You stole my line. Only I have the rights to say that. It is henceforth copyrighted within our relationship._

_**What if I ever want to literally break up with you?**_

_Then I suppose you'll just have to drive me insane until I do it for you. (Basically that means just keep doing what you're doing now.) Is that some form of foreshadowing? Are you making some sort of plans to drive a machete between us::Sob::Sob:: (I'm crying on the inside.)_

_**Machete? What planet are you from?**_

_A good one, obviously._

_**Laughing on the inside.**_

_This is no time to make (horrible and also recently used by me) jokes. This is like a real thing and not just one of our stupid fights._

_**Let's not worry about that yet.**_

_I am worried about it so say something to make me feel less of a pit in my tummy._

**_Ok we're amazingly perfect together and nothing will stand between us and an amazing future together. There was that naïve enough for you?_**

_A little too much so. Thanks for finally giving me a reason to never get married. Honestly though I'm a little freaked that we'll fight and not be forced to be around each other long enough to make up and the next thing we know we have no clue why we're still together when we haven't even talked in a month and you're screwing some other girl._

_**Ok first off, how come in these hypotheticals I'm always the first to start seeing other people? And second, of course it's going to be nearly impossible but why the hell shouldn't we at least give it a shot?**_

_When did you become the logical one?_

_**You can't be the most at everything all the time Lizzy.**_

_I'm sorry I'm freaking out. It's just Erin and Eddie just broke up and all that and it scared me because you've become like my best friend (who just happens to be a very good kisser) and wouldn't it just suck if one day we just stopped being… us._

_**Lizzy we have a whole summer of us. Than we can just improvise from there. Deal?**_

_Ok it's a deal. Just promise that no matter what, we can at least always be friends._

**_Of course. So what movie did you want to watch tonight?_**

**_

* * *

_**

Ok now it's over.

Basically I have three options for what I want to do for my next story and I really want to know which one you guys (my amazing and oh so... um... amazing...) reviewers think I should do because I wouldn't do this if it wasn't for you guys that even stick it out through my very long update periods. (Sorry 'bout that. It's the whole diary thing.)

Anyway...

Option one is the second part of this story of which I'd always planned on doing and have only recently gotten into planning it out and now I basically love the whole thing and can't wait to write even though I was going to wait. It takes place 9 years after this and... is definately not told in a dairy format. (Thank god!) The rest I'll let you read.

My other options are another Pride and Prejudice that has quite a few twists that I dont want to give away but "Lizzy" (I changed the name) is a Romance Novelist and her sister is Mean Old "Darcy's" (possible name change) secretary. Serious twists though.

And Finally I've wanted to do an Emma for so, so very long and I have this plan to do it kind of roughly based off of, my new obcession, Grey's Anatomy. Very roughly. As in it takes place in a hospitol. ;)

All of these are short-chaptered quick-update kind of stories, just so you know.

Ok I'll stop blabbering and let you pick! Tell me because I'm psyched.


End file.
